ThePharmicist
Bluelighter
Hi all,
So I've been a member here for quite some time. Most, if not all my posts were in the actual using portions of the forum. I've been trying to get clean for some four plus years and I thought I had finally got it, but I slipped up almost immediately. I need some advice from those of your who've been through this.
A Little Background/The Story
I was on Suboxone for around four years. I finally tapered myself down to a little less than a third of a strip, and decided to jump. This was on March 23rd, 2014 about three weeks ago. The withdrawals were actually quite smooth, I used Klonopin, Clonidine and Kratom to help ease the symptoms. I made it a whopping five-six days before I called up my H dealer and grabbed a bag. I don't know why I did this, but it's the nature of addiction, as we all know.
For the next week I used dope (powder heroin, insufflated) everyday. I hoped, or at least tricked myself into believing that I wouldn't have to experience withdrawal symptoms coming off, since I had been clean for five days. In my logical mind, I knew this wasn't true but as I said before it is the nature of the addiction.
Yesterday I realized after going 24-hours without heroin, that I was going to have to go through heroin withdrawals. The withdrawals started like they usually do and progressed as fast as they usually do. I told myself I could ride it out, but broke down today and bought a bag. My biggest complaint is always the restless legs/restless arm shit, followed by the anxiety. I want to be done with this shit, I've wasted too much time trying to fuck about with all this and I just want to be clean. My biggest hurdle is always the the initial withdrawals and the PAWs. I understand I'll go through some shit, but the degree of how bad that shit is would be where I'd like to find some advice on.
The Now
At this point I'm faced with a dilemma, try to go cold turkey off the dope, or try and do a short taper with Suboxone until the dope is out of my system and go through sub withdrawals.
I feel like the Suboxone withdrawals may be a little harder this time since I messed them up the first time through. If I decide to ride through the dope withdrawals I'm going to need to stock on as many "comfort meds" as possible, specifically something for sleep, anxiety and RLS. I was thinking if I could find some Soma, Xanax, Kratom and Ambien I might have a fighting chance without breaking down too badly going cold turkey off the dope.
Any suggestions would be helpful, what would you do? Short taper with subs or CT off of the dope? I need to make it long enough to the point where I can start taking the Naltrexone I have, that's my safety net at this point.
Any help the BL community can give me would be much appreciated, I know y'all have been a huge help in the past and any suggestions or words of encouragement would do me a great deal.
Thank you all!
So I've been a member here for quite some time. Most, if not all my posts were in the actual using portions of the forum. I've been trying to get clean for some four plus years and I thought I had finally got it, but I slipped up almost immediately. I need some advice from those of your who've been through this.
A Little Background/The Story
I was on Suboxone for around four years. I finally tapered myself down to a little less than a third of a strip, and decided to jump. This was on March 23rd, 2014 about three weeks ago. The withdrawals were actually quite smooth, I used Klonopin, Clonidine and Kratom to help ease the symptoms. I made it a whopping five-six days before I called up my H dealer and grabbed a bag. I don't know why I did this, but it's the nature of addiction, as we all know.
For the next week I used dope (powder heroin, insufflated) everyday. I hoped, or at least tricked myself into believing that I wouldn't have to experience withdrawal symptoms coming off, since I had been clean for five days. In my logical mind, I knew this wasn't true but as I said before it is the nature of the addiction.
Yesterday I realized after going 24-hours without heroin, that I was going to have to go through heroin withdrawals. The withdrawals started like they usually do and progressed as fast as they usually do. I told myself I could ride it out, but broke down today and bought a bag. My biggest complaint is always the restless legs/restless arm shit, followed by the anxiety. I want to be done with this shit, I've wasted too much time trying to fuck about with all this and I just want to be clean. My biggest hurdle is always the the initial withdrawals and the PAWs. I understand I'll go through some shit, but the degree of how bad that shit is would be where I'd like to find some advice on.
The Now
At this point I'm faced with a dilemma, try to go cold turkey off the dope, or try and do a short taper with Suboxone until the dope is out of my system and go through sub withdrawals.
I feel like the Suboxone withdrawals may be a little harder this time since I messed them up the first time through. If I decide to ride through the dope withdrawals I'm going to need to stock on as many "comfort meds" as possible, specifically something for sleep, anxiety and RLS. I was thinking if I could find some Soma, Xanax, Kratom and Ambien I might have a fighting chance without breaking down too badly going cold turkey off the dope.
Any suggestions would be helpful, what would you do? Short taper with subs or CT off of the dope? I need to make it long enough to the point where I can start taking the Naltrexone I have, that's my safety net at this point.
Any help the BL community can give me would be much appreciated, I know y'all have been a huge help in the past and any suggestions or words of encouragement would do me a great deal.
Thank you all!
