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Mental Health Geographical Relocation - Good Idea for Sobriety?

RedLeader

RedLeader

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The idea seems simple enough. Move to a new place to separate yourself from the people, places and things that made up your active addiction so that, at least for a while, it's all but impossible to obtain your DOC. Start over fresh and hopefully after some time forced away from your addiction, you'll be "reborn." Let's not speak about rehab here, instead more along the lines of "I'm moving 20 hours to the other side of the country, 20 hours from all of my dealers, to start a fresh life on my friend's farm." Good or bad idea?

Seems logical enough, but...

"The common denominator of everywhere you go is you, and that's ultimately what you have to be able to live with to be happy."

"Moving is just running from the problem..."

"Moving carries a risk of isolation if things don't go as well as planned, and we tend to relapse in isolation."

"The drugs are everywhere. Eventually you'll find them. Or they will find you."



It seems like this idea is encouraged on BL, but is frowned upon in 12-step groups. What do you think? Has it worked for you? Failed for you? Have you thought about it?
 
Good topic RedLeader. I have often thought of moving to escape obsessive thoughts.

For me, the truth is that I am the problem. I cannot blame anyone else or anything else. For years I blamed my girlfriend and our abusive relationship, me not being good enough, me being a misunderstood man, me not doing what I should be doing, where I lived, all of the common thoughts that run through a alcoholic's mind. The bottom line is that all of these were excuses to use. The truth was that I wanted to continue using. I didn't need excuses or "reasons", but they made me feel better about my decisions to stay in an unconscious state of being.

I believe a geographical change can be a beneficial part of the solution, but it certainly is not the solution. I used to dislike the town I am in. I am an outdoors person and dream of our tiny, 1800s mining cabin in Colorado. I spent a good part of my previous days dreaming of what I would do in Colorado and how it would be better than where I was. This took me out of my moment with where I was and what I was doing. This caused discontent with me everywhere I went and all I could find were the bad things in the city I was in.

Now, through my decisions and bettering of my moments, I am completely content with where I am at. I have old friends, old hook ups, old memories --all of that-- in this town. However, the moment I decided that I want a new life they became just that, an old script to a discarded movie. Also, those are merely excuses at my taking if I were to decide to drink or use again.

Today, a geographical change would simply add to a blooming life, but certainly would not define it or change it. My world comes from within and therefore influences the outer happenings I experience. I would still like to move, but I am learning to enjoy my moments wherever I may be.
 
I don't think a geographic is an essential part of sobriety but it can help. I moved a little while away from my old haunt when I got out of rehab and it definitely helped me avoid hitting certain people up.

If you've got nothing to lose from a move then why not? But it probably is a secondary factor in most peoples recovery.
 
I wouldn't be worried about isolation in a new place any more than you would be in your hometown. I was isolated at home trying to stay completely sober once I cut out all my friends who drink and use (which was all my friends). It wasn't til I moved to a new city that I was able to get my mojo back. Now, I can go back home and see old friends and it's not a big deal.

Anyway, if the only reason you want to move is because you want to get clean, don't do it. If you want to move for other reasons and getting away from drugs is an added benefit, then go through with it. The reason I say this is because there's going to be drugs in your new town too, and sooner or later you will find them. I've gotten high a few times in my new city. I haven't fully relapsed and gone through withdrawals, but I used 2 or 3 times in the not-quite-a-year I've been here. However, moving has made me more mature and I've grown as a person, so I was able to deal with the lapses and not let it bring me down.
 
I have certainly thought about it and am strongly considering it, but I do have certain things holding me back.

Around here, my DOC is all over. I have so many friends and even family members who I can contact for it. All I need to do to get my DOC is take a 5 minute drive or 20 minute walk and it's right there. Being in a different geographical location would assist in not knowing where to obtain my DOC.

On the other hand, if I were to move then I would not be able to be around my support system of friends or family. I'm not currently clean, but when I do get clean then I will need a good support system of those who I trust. I trust my family and a few close friends. Both of which are no more than a 45 minute drive away. Sure I could call them if I were to move, but it's not the same as face to face.

There are several other factors to consider also such as employment, housing, schooling, etc. IMHO it's a huge decision that should be not be taken lightly and much time and thought should go into it.

<3
 
One thing that they taught n rehab was one essential thing to do when attempting to get sober is to avoid PPT's...People,Places,and Things related to your addiction. A geographical relocation is a start 2 keeping sober,but only that. Some ppl can stay in their same area,while others cannot. Considering that ur asking I would say that u feel as if u cannot stay n ur same area and stay sober.

Yes drugs will be everywhere you go. The addict inside of you knows this but so does the part of you wishing to get sober. Both sides also know what kind of ppl,places, and things are associated 2 ur addiction. Even in a new area a drug addict can just tell who,where, and what things are related to a substance. Use this information and knowledge to ur advantage, avoid these PPTs like the plague! It wont do you any good 2 move to a new area if you dont also keep away from places that have drug activity.

So to give a definitive answer to your question, moving will not solve anything unless u take the other needed steps to continue to avoid PPTs at ur new location. It would also be a good idea 2 seek out a support group of somekind in ur new area and find an accountability partner who is willing 2 listen to u and provide support when u need it. Wish you the best of luck in ur journey ^.^
 
Mmmh I dunno.
In theory it sounds like a good idea, but I think there's one massive problem which is that moving away (especially if it's pretty far) is often extremely stressful and pretty difficult/depressing at first...ie it creates the perfect conditions for an addict to relapse. And after all, if you want drugs, you'll find them, even if you don't know the area well.
One of the (many) reasons I moved to a different country last september was to get away from my drug problems back home, but I can tell you that wasn't even effective a month. The move was extremely difficult for me and once I found some contacts in my new city, I actually started using way more than I used to. As you said, the common denominator is you.
I don't think it's a good idea. It's best to face your demons in a safe place where you've got friends etc.
 
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Pagey said:
Mmmh I dunno.
In theory it sounds like a good idea, but I think there's one massive problem which is that moving away (especially if it's pretty far) is often extremely stressful and pretty difficult/depressing at first...ie it creates the perfect conditions for an addict to relapse. And after all, if you want drugs, you'll find them, even if you don't know the area well.
One of the (many) reasons I moved to a different country last september was to get away from my drug problems back home, but I can tell you that wasn't even affective a month. The move was extremely difficult for me and once I found some contacts in my new city, I actually started using way more than I used to. As you said, the common denominator is you.
I don't think it's a good idea. It's best to face your demons in a safe place where you've got friends etc.
Click to expand...

I agree with parts that Pagey is saying,in theory it does sound like a good idea,but as Pagey pointed out you have 2 also be aware of the possible consequences. I also agree that if you move and if u do start using and find connections that u will end up using more than had.

However,sometimes it is best to leave ur comfort zone(but be aware of possible outcomes). Ask yourself this, do you still feel safe in your saftey zone? It basically comes down 2 u.Moving didnt work for Pagey,but what do u think will work for you? Which way do u feel u have the greatest odds of staying alive? Take everything ppl are saying here with a grain of salt,including myself,bc in the end ur the one holding the salt shaker...

Pariahprose
 
It worked pretty well for me. I know with my own situation I don't have control in saying no when offered my DOC. I knew that it would be best for me to move. That was 10 years ago. I have relapsed since a few times but it hasn't led to me using all the time again because I know that it's in my best interest to resist trying to find meth on my own. For me, when I find my own sources it's just a downward spiral and something that I just won't stop. Just being aware of that has helped me quite a bit.

If you're looking at moving as an option for quitting, it's not just as easy as that. You have to really want to quit for yourself and still put an effort into it daily so that you won't slip, because even if moving might make it more difficult it's still very, very easy to slip.
 
It worked failrly well for me as well.

Literally all of my friends were selling or using drugs. When I moved across the country I had a real chance to start over without having to be in the drug scene everyday. While I did eventually start using drugs again it was only small stuff like tramadol, marijuana, and the occasional alcohol.

Moving can be helpful even for someone who isn't constantly surrounded by drugs. The brain makes connections with all the places that you used frequently so even when you get sober you may still get cravings when you drive past the places you used to get high.

I was lucky enough to have family across the country I could live with, but the fact is moving isn't a feasible financial option for a large portion of users.

If you genuinely want to get clean and you have the means to move it has the potential to make staying clean much easier.
 
Moving can be a great idea especially if your abuse is so closely linked with your location/lifestyle. Just remember that you are the problem so anywhere you go you will have to deal with "you" & your thoughts, feelings & emotions. Removing easy temptation can help tremendously because if you do want to pick up you will need to put some effort into it. Hopefully that will buy you enough time for the craving to subside & rational thought to return.
 
Relocating got me clean. It broke all my former social connections, uprooted me from the scenes where all my bad habits flourished, and having to learn a new way of living kept me occupied and away from drugs.

It's not an automatic solution though. You issues will follow you wherever you go. The key is using the "plasticity" of your new situation to create brand new, healthy habits, so that once you feel settled into the new location, your new concrete form will have better coping strategies. If you move somewhere new but end up dealing with things in the same way then you will be SOL.

One other thing... support and community. If there are some people where you are now who you count on to keep you sane, you won't have those people when you move. Yeah yeah, there's phone, skype, email, etc... it's not the same. Make sure that where you're moving has some kind of social culture where you can make new friends and continue to have face time with worthwhile people. If you move and end up totally isolated then that could be bad news.
 
Never worked for me. I have moved multiple times (NYC, Santa Barbara, New Hampshire, Crested Butte, and once just like you are talking about to a friends farm in the middle of nowhere) my same addict behavior followed me. Maybe it just was that I wasn't ready to get clean but trust me I really was. Always would find dope.

I would say rehab is a better choice because it forces you to deal with the issue, rather then running away from it (not saying geographical cures is running away but you know what I mean). It would always help me when I was walking out the door to use in a rehab, we'll it never per say helped because I always left when I was determined or not medicated correctly. Sometimes just those little thing can help majorly at the right time and in the right situation.

I am just rambling but those are my thoughts.
 
Where ever YOU go, there YOU are. Unfortunately you will just take your addiction with you. It may provide you with enough time to kick but as we all know how to find drugs absolutely anywhere. It could be a piece of an overall plan that addresses the real problem, addiction not location. Very best of insight and luck.
 
Moving into a new place to live after you have quit is a good idea, as any old environments/areas you were using in are going to have cues that will trigger you on a conscious or subconscious level.

Moving across the country... I'd only suggest that if you're already clean and are dedicated to staying off of the drug(s) you had problems with. I personally drove 2,600 miles over a course of 5 days all on my own, just to get away from the area of the United States that is saturated with the drug I wanted to distance myself from. The result: it worked. I've been on Suboxone for a long time now, and am very happy with how my life is progressing.

You should also try to factor in the idea that moving is only something you should do if you are 100% dedicated to being off of a drug and are already clean. Otherwise you may move, only to find yourself wanting to move back due to being homesick or due to cravings, or a combination of that and other things.

If you are going to move, it's also important to make sure you have a support network set up for yourself before you move; friends, family, acquaintances, etc. so that when you get to where you're going, you have people who care for you and will help you through anything you might go through.

Moving isn't easy, and taxes the patience of even the most tolerant individuals that I know of, so you also have to remember that moving in itself can be hectic and challenging.

If you are going to be moving in the United States and are going to be moving over state lines, you have to move by yourself and cannot use a moving company. Otherwise, they may not deliver on their promises, and then you're basically stuck without any ability to sue the company in a timely fashion, as there's a multi-year back log of cases against companies that move over state lines. If you are moving within a state, you can use a moving company, and if they don't deliver on their promises, you can get them taken to court in a very timely fashion.

Hope this post was informative and useful for anyone considering moving. It may not be an option/good idea for everyone, but it certainly was for me.
 
I moved in October of 2011. Changed my whole life. I still didn't remain sober (did for months, then jumped too early into a too tumultuous relationship and lost sight of myself) but it did get me away from my cocaine, oxymorohone, heroin and MXE sources and I have since been clean from all of those drugs. Moving became, for me, an existential necessity - I had to do it in order to survive.

Throughout all my twists and turns in the struggle for sobriety/serenity, that was the first time that geographical relocation seemed like a viable option. Thank the powers that be that I did it, too.

Then again, what was fantastic for MY sobriety cannot generalize to ALL sobriety... I think the prudence of relocating is necessarily circumstantial. If you are at the point I reached, I think that you ought to consider it, RL.

Good luck, man <3

~ Vaya
 
Fiends gon' fiend.
And fiends find a way.
Fix the attic before you pack your bags and go running out of the front door.
 
Drugs are always accessible, no matter where you are, it might get harder and more expensive depending on where you are but you could nearly always find drugs anywhere. And in the unlikely even that fails these days you can just make the drugs find you either way using the computer so moving away solves nothing.
 
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