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Gently Coaxing my Girl into Rolling

elidril

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Joined
Nov 30, 2013
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I have been with this beautiful woman for 5 years, and I love her so much. She's amazing. 10 years ago I used to dose fairly regularly with pressed pills. I haven't rolled since then, but my buddy recently gifted me what he says is very clean and pure powdered MDMA. I trust my friend, and I would love so much to have this wonderful experience with her. But due to her preconceived notions about MDMA, she immediately rejected my request. I do not want to pressure her or make her feel pushed to do something she doesn't enjoy, so I dropped the subject. But I can't get the thought out of my mind how well it would help us bond and enjoy some truly romantic and emotional times together. I have had her read many articles, forums, and discussions about the drug, but still she keeps falling back on the mainstream media's shock and awe stories about deaths etc. She also is a bit concerned because she struggles with anxiety sometimes, and she doesn't take any type of anti-anxiety meds. She is concerned that she will have some type of anxiety attack if she tries it. Help? Tips? Advice?

Thanks for all of your input.
 
Why don't you acquire one or two 10mg valiums or an Ativan or something to have on hand for her incase she starts to feel anxious. Really, I don't see it being a problem. In my opinion I find Ecstasy to almost force euphoria and comfort upon you, true MDMA that is. And you should show her some examples of people who have used E responsibly in the past and are not retarded because of it.
 
There is some anxiety during come-up for some people, but the idea of being anxious while rolling is antithetical to the drug itself.

I was dating a guy with a persistent anxiety disorder and his problem with MDMA was it made it all go away and he actually became addicted. I of course tried to talk him out of this, as it's not a good drug to abuse, but asshole didn't listen to me and it fucked him right up!

I seriously doubt she'll become a pill monster but hey some people do. Just saying.
 
Morphling that would have sucked, after a month or two I bet he just became a shell of what he used to be?

Some people just don't like certain drugs.

If she's firm about not doing MDMA, leave her be.

People who are usually bullied into doing drugs usually have a horrifying experience. Although this would not be like a 1000ug LSD trip gone wrong, for a first-time user of MDMA (who most likely has not done many drugs in their life) could have a seriously bad time or just fall into a void.

TL;DR, shit goes wrong, don't do it!
 
If she has an anxiety disorder MDMA will feel so relieving and wonderful to her. More wonderful than normal people because she is so used to being in flight or fight mode. Being tense, uncomfortable, stressed, and feeling unsettled is what us anxiety sufferers go through daily. If she takes MDMA it could be so relieving to her. But the comedown is going to be twice as bad as a normal persons too. Because her brain chemistry, neurons, and production and release centers were already messed up. The MDMA will deplete the shit out of it. She will have a horrible time, especially if she is Inexperienced with the drug. first timers, especially females, with stims and ecstasy were horrible because they don't know what to expect so they don't know how to deal with it or talk to themselves, or even know that it ends and to be calm. I have anxiety bad, so when that feeling started coming I would just take more. I wanted to feel good for once and wow, did MDMA make me feel comfortable finally. But coming down was not an option. Turned in to more than what I intended it to be.
People who don't want to do a drug for their own reason, are usually right not to do it. They know who they are and their body. Long ago, i pressured a drug free and career focused friend that had a fear of getting addicted. I swore that recreational use didn't lead to addiction unless you wanted it to. She did a line and instantly changed into a fiend. She knew somehow what would happen but I didn't leave her be. 10 years later, Now she is no longer really in reality anymore.
Not saying this will happen to your woman, but most of the time, when someone doesn't think they are comfortable or capable of doing a drug, it's because they aren't mentally sound enough for it and they know it somehow. And reminder, with her current anxiety and first time inexperience with comedowns, I would not tell her everything will be okay, then she takes it and is not okay at all, and you have to care for her comedown crash anxiety, which might not be pretty.omg some women are not rational or able to calm down at all. I can handle the irritated silent ones, but the crying, stressed ones, with no ability to calm down and self talk, or stop wanting more...I can't handle.
Sorry for the long response, I can't stop being too thorough. It adds reasoning.
 
@RabidKoala, seriously mate, you cant be that sexist? Right?.
Having a bad or weird reaction to a drug and feeling over-welmed isnt a uniquely feminine aspect. Plenty of men have reactions like that, I assure you.

@OP, dont pressure her. She will likely give in to pressure in the end out of love for you, but wont enjoy the MDMA experience because shes doing for the wrong reasons.
Best thing to do would be to leave it alone and give her time to think about it. You've done the legwork here by showing her some good quality info on the drug and she knows its availiable, so now you just have wait and see if her curiosity gets the better of her.
 
@bunge: I'm not sexist, I was only referring to women with emotional issues that have problems with drugs and accepting the end of the night. Not all women in General.
. I am a woman. And I know how it feels to have severe anxiety and try a drug that makes it horrible after the high. Especially a drug I am new to and have no idea how to handle. I was just giving advice is all.
 
Don't risk your health and her's for what you think is going to be a good time......I know you love her....Make that love for her swallow up any tempting that your urged to do.....Trust me. 5 years is a long time to be together....I used to roll like every day for two years until I lost my shit.....I know the dark side....That is why you'll see me on these forums trying to convince people what is smart and not smart or at least be responsible about it. Please heed this.
 
Why don't you acquire one or two 10mg valiums or an Ativan or something to have on hand for her incase she starts to feel anxious.
right. so maybe she starts taking two new drugs, at least one of which is pretty addictive. it don't matter, we don't even know her.. for all we care, she could start shooting smack!

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@OP: Blind Melon's advice is no good. Don't introduce people to drugs. Especially not if they do not even want to take drugs. What if your GF got addicted? Or, perhaps more likely, what if she started taking all kinds of hallucinogens (common once people tried ecstasy) and one of them triggered a mental disorder?
 
right. so maybe she starts taking two new drugs, at least one of which is pretty addictive. it don't matter, we don't even know her.. for all we care, she could start shooting smack!

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@OP: Blind Melon's advice is no good. Don't introduce people to drugs. Especially not if they do not even want to take drugs. What if your GF got addicted? Or, perhaps more likely, what if she started taking all kinds of hallucinogens (common once people tried ecstasy) and one of them triggered a mental disorder?

I can't even tell if you're serious
 
I can't even tell if you're serious
I am serious. OP's GF doesn't even want to try it. Drugs, even something relatively mild such as ecstasy, carry serious risks.

I've been in this situation myself. Somebody didn't want to try a drug. Somehow, in the spur of the moment, I convinced the person to try the drug. The person has now a damaging usage pattern. I'm partly responsible and blame myself for it.
 
I am serious. OP's GF doesn't even want to try it. Drugs, even something relatively mild such as ecstasy, carry serious risks.

I've been in this situation myself. Somebody didn't want to try a drug. Somehow, in the spur of the moment, I convinced the person to try the drug. The person has now a damaging usage pattern. I'm partly responsible and blame myself for it.

I certainly don't think it's right to push drugs on people. But the "what if your GF got addicted" part just had me lost. You really have to lack self control to get "addicted" to MDMA.
 
Just provide her a profile of what the drug does, how it makes you feel and why you like to take it. Then you can let her make the decision for herself. You should never try and pressure people into doing something they don't want to do.
 
Wow, good luck man. I hope you convince her. I've never rolled with anyone I've been romantically involved with, I really want to though. I've been trying to get this girl to warm to the idea of rolling for a while now, I know she definitely is curious about it and wants to try it, but I just don't think she can drop the stigma towards it, and she is a big worrier, so I think she'd just worry about the whole thing too much and wouldn't enjoy it, even though I know she would. Plus you're not supposed to mix MD with the meds she takes... at least she's sensible I guess.
 
I think that if you continue to do it recreationally now, you could simply describe to her one or two of the fun nights you have over the course of the next while. If it seems appealing to her, she'll want to know more. I had been doing M for a couple of months when I met my partner (now of 5 years). He had been very anti-drug when we met, because of the horror stories out there. One night some friends and I were going to do it and he said he would be okay hanging out with us when we were high, so as we were dropping that night I let him know that we had extra if he was interested at any point. After knowing I had been doing it for a while and it hadn't ruined my life/hospitalized me, I guess he felt more comfortable and he ended up rolling with us that night. We now roll together every month or two, just the two of us or with friends, and he loves it as much as I do!

I think the key here is that the partner needs to see that drugs do NOT always ruin lives, and do not send you to the hospital or to prison if you use reasonably infrequently. My view before I started taking drugs recreationally was that you will become an addict your first time using. After I had seen many of my friends start using different drugs just occasionally, I recognized that you can actually take drugs sometimes and still have a normal happy life! Be an example to her. If you start taking MDMA again with friends, don't say anything to her but let her see. You can role model responsible MDMA use.

After a while, maybe after you've used it a few more times, have a heart to heart to her and explain why you want to share that experience with her. Explain what it does for you, the precautions you take to stay safe, and what you think the benefits would be. If she is not comfortable with it after that, let it go and don't bring it up again unless she does. There's a difference between pressuring her and gently letting her know how you feel and what your experiences have been. The difference is that sharing your thoughts only needs to be done once in a complete, honest and loving way- after that if you bring it up again it moves into more of a pressuring thing.

Some people need a while to ease into things. Some other people genuinely have no interest, and that's okay too. Rolling together would be the cherry on the sundae in a good relationship like yours, such a treat and a beautiful extra but the sundae is still wonderful without it :)


A note about her anxiety disorder: There is anecdotal evidence on BL that MDMA can trigger panic attacks, but there is also anecdotal evidence that it can help with anxiety disorders. Explore this site http://www.maps.org/research/mdma/. It's a great website about using M in therapy, it's possible that in a safe and therapeutic context such as at home with someone she trusts, it will be a very positive and wonderful experience for her!!
 
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If she has reservations about it, don't push the issue. It is most certainly possible to have a bad experience on MDMA (I can't believe people would say that it isn't - its a drug that is messing with neurotransmitter levels in your brain and modifying your thought patterns and brain waves, anything can happen) and also, it may be a blessing in disguise that she doesn't want to do it. I have seen and experienced the systematic destruction of relationships because of MDMA. It breaks down walls that some people can't handle having torn down and runs them right off.
 
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