Life is still looking up for me. I don't feel as stuck. I love writing again, although I tend to do it less than before I got busted again in 2006. I'm making sure not to make a few major mistakes using dope that I had been prone to during the year 2005 and before. No more driving loaded. No more tweaking and blowing off work. No more working erratic "when I feel like it" then freaking out about what sort of dumb lie I'd have to tell with verification to back it up, making myself feel even more like a piece of shit.
Granted, I do notice that the mindset using and having fun is still present in that I have to not blow off responsibilities such as not letting stupid crap pile up like the student loans for example. When I don't know what to say, or I'm not sure how to approach shit I don't know about, but unable to afford the advise of an attorney or professional, so I do nothing. That I gotta eliminate somehow. I'm so glad though that at least this time around I know to be damn grateful and jump all over the opportunity to work 5 nights a week instead of 4 & I'm glad I do have a car for now. So gotta jump in the shower, move along. I am happy & grateful. I want to not make some of the same mistakes I've made in the past. These are good things. Peace out.
Granted, I do notice that the mindset using and having fun is still present in that I have to not blow off responsibilities such as not letting stupid crap pile up like the student loans for example. When I don't know what to say, or I'm not sure how to approach shit I don't know about, but unable to afford the advise of an attorney or professional, so I do nothing. That I gotta eliminate somehow. I'm so glad though that at least this time around I know to be damn grateful and jump all over the opportunity to work 5 nights a week instead of 4 & I'm glad I do have a car for now. So gotta jump in the shower, move along. I am happy & grateful. I want to not make some of the same mistakes I've made in the past. These are good things. Peace out.