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General Psychedelic Discussion Thread!

I took the first tab of 800 mics 25C-NBOME at approximately 8:00 pm, holding it in between my gum and my cheeks for roughly 20 minutes. A numbing sensation soon follows and I find my body tingling with electrical pulses from the psychedelic stimulation.

This was a mistake. The set was atrocious, along with the setting. I had just returned to my country from holiday and I was sleep deprived. At roughly 9:30 pm the NBOME peaked, leaving me with a sense of euphoria along with heightened empathy. Mild closed eyed visuals occurred, and very light trails of patterns started forming in the open eyed. I was unable to trip in peace as I was constantly being asked by the family to do chores. The whole scenario seemed hilarious to me, especially when taking out the trash while tripping. Eventually I manage to find some time for myself, and that’s when it got even stranger.

I took another tab of 800 mics 25C-NBOME along with a capsule of 150 mg of MDMA. The onset was quick, within 20 minutes I was chatty and I called up a friend to talk. Waves of ecstatic relief constantly washed over my body as I felt lighter than a feather. The world seemed brighter, and the patterns seemed to form at warp speed. At this point, as my body moved I would be able to see visual and motion trails of my ethereal self warping through. Just moving my arms, I would be greeted with an after image burned into my visual sensors.

At around 12 am, the both chemicals were at their peak. I was feeling relief and joyous to start out the year with a bang, and was intent on using this experience to wrap up the last year’s issues. I went to smoke a bowl of “grape fruit” marijuana and that’s when it shifted gears from the ++++ level to +++++. Upon exhaling, what seemed like infinite thought loops went into hyper-drive. I was bombarded with very vivid and realistic scenarios of quests and milestones I had to achieve in life, and as I shut down my eyes to attempt to calm myself, the closed eyed visuals were taking realistic forms of 3D models warping through me. It all accumulated to the point where I was completely overwhelmed, and as I lay there on my bed I felt my ego shattering. I felt omnipresent, infinite and timeless.

The next 3 hours were the most horrifying and intense moments in my life. My shapeless body was now conversing with entities of energy. They welcomed me into the rabbit hole and I had known that this was the deepest I had ever traversed into my psyche. I felt welcomed by their presence and was relieved to be amongst them. I slowly regain my composure, and I find myself completely numb, devoid of emotions. I was able to look at what happened in the past hours with an analytical view, without bias or emotions clouding my judgement. I was simply, numb and cold. I acknowledged then, that nothing will ever be the same. I felt as if my mind’s eye was finally open.

At 4:00 am, my ego was finally mending itself. My mind was slowly transported back into the physical world and I had come to terms with my rebirth. I felt pieces of negativity in my personality disappear, replaced with positive reinforcement. The whole event felt very much like the six million dollar man, NBOME and MDMA had the technology and they rebuilt me from scratch. I was surprised at my mental fortitude at the whole trip, and while it got intense I never broke. I never backed down and it surprised me at how easy I came to terms with it. I accepted it, taking full responsibility of the consequences when I ate the substances. I bought the ticket, and I had taken the ride. Sleep came easily at 5 am, by that point I was physically and mentally drained. I woke up the next day at 11 am, refreshed and relieved to be alive. I still cannot fathom nor put fully into words the mystifying experience that happened to me yesterday, my set and setting were stupid but it was the most valuable insight into my psyche. 2012, I start the year with the hardest task I had ever undergone. Knowing that I can withstand this, I am ready to take on anything the year can throw at me. I simply feel transcended.
 
Um okay so basically I just wrote a massive big thing, call it a non-fiction tale if you will.
I'll split it into two parts, the first part is optional, it's a little more ranty than I intended but provides some context none the less.
The second will be in bold, it's a lot more on topic of what I was trying to write about.


I recently came to the interesting realisation about my heavy use of psychedelics recently, mainly acid. I haven't been doing drugs for that long to be honest, used to hate them and believe all the bullshit, nowadays I'm stoned as fuck and might wander with my thoughts a bit here, so stick with me. I've really felt the need to write, and so I'm going to just do that now because I feel it's a good time to.

Anyway I had a bad trip a while back on LSD. I took a random tab some younger kid hooked me up with, it was maybe the fifth time I did acid or something, but I was real confident in my ability to take this thing so I decided to dunk it at a big party. It wasn't big to begin with and it was just chill, and then we went to get on and long story short 5 hours in my disappointingly mild trip I smoked one normal cone, and one big fatty and after that I tripped fucking balls all night.
When we got back the house was in chaos, drunk people everywhere, I was so fucked I could barely recognise anyone because their faces were almost illegable I was just hallucinating so much.

So shit got really wild and about an hour later I found myself getting the fuck out of that house after a whole bunch of dudes had been grabbing and harassing me because they heard I was on trips, it was terrifying because no one seemed to notice, and no one helped me, which was even worse.

So I took to the streets with a headful of acid, and memories of a conversation I had had earlier about a bunch of guys looking for trouble in the neighbourhood. I don't live in a super rough neighbourhood but there are definitely certain kinds of people to look out for, I'd been beaten up before when I was a kid by some random older kid for no reason. Cause a lot of extreme anxiety through my teenage years. I digress.

Anyway I'm getting to specific as I always do, and it makes my posts so fucking long, and no one wants to read an essay about this crap so I must cut forward to the important bits.


Basically the end result of the trip was my bad trip was being attacked by surrounding hallucintions including the grass and the trees and ever since I've had recurring hallucinations of both. They're quite menacing in fact. Well much to my surprise when I recently got a good whack of DMT for the first time I had these same recurring hallucinations again when my eyes were open, they were so intense that it was all I could notice and remember in my vision, the trees and the grass, and the unbelievably loud birds chirping away in my backyard.

I always had a suspicion that there was something somewhat significant about these recurring hallucinations, you can kinda feel it in the trip, and it's something that is never absent in my trips, in fact I even recently hallucinated the grass scorpions on MDMA.

So now I had had them on DMT, and it all suddenly made sense to me. They are my fears. It's "the fear", and this led me to the obvious question which is "the fear of what?"

I couldn't figure out what I was afraid of, I've done LSD many many many times since that bad trip and I had pretty much become comfortable enough with the experience to say at the very least, I no longer get the pre-flight jitters. And yet here's this fear.

And so I thought and pondered for a bit and surprisingly quickly I realised that it was my fear of going back to the bad trip place. That place of pure terror and hell that I'm sure all you psychedelic warriors are somewhat familiar with to say the least. I've been there once, and I sure as hell don't want to go back and that's what is causing this fear.

Here's the main thing I wanted to get to, I realised after my DMT trip what I've been doing to try and conquer that fear, which I now realise is wrong. Basically I was taking LSD every week, perhaps even a little more often that that for a few months but focussing the attention of the trip solely on trying to fix myself. Now the important part is exactly what I mean about fix myself:

Basically, I somehow managed to wrap my brain into believing that my bad trip was caused by a negative trait of mine, and it was, it was caused by my arrogant attitude towards a beautiful and powerful drug that should be treated with nothing but respect. This is what I learned and applied from that trip and I've become a far less arrogant person because of it, but what I've also been doing is taking acid weekly for months on end and diving into myself to try and fix all my tiny petty problems.

I talk too much, as we can all plainly see, but because I was running into my brain trying to fix everything like a mechanic, I forgot to remember the fact that my talking too much is something just makes me, who I am.

So basically in trying to take psychedelics and change who I was, I forgot who I was. I don't need to change myself and make myself perfect, I just need to embrace myself for who I am and use it to better this planet and it's miserable condition anyway I can.

I'm 19, I have a long time left to make myself a perfect human being.
Right now I need to just relax and remember that out of all the responsibilities I do have,
being perfect definitely isn't one of them.
 
So basically in trying to take psychedelics and change who I was, I forgot who I was. I don't need to change myself and make myself perfect, I just need to embrace myself for who I am and use it to better this planet and it's miserable condition anyway I can.

QFT! At 19 that is a pretty good realisation, enjoy. :)
 
Plus you have the ability to put it in words, I can't put anything from my psychedelic use into words. No words are good enough for me and I love words!
 
TangerinO great post man! I also came to that realization during my trips. You can't change who you are, why would you bother, once you except yourself it becomes easier to except others :) Acid for me is a drug of love of one self, unlike mdma where it is love of the surroundings if that makes sense.
 
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