rave_itsrealfun!!!
Bluelighter
In my opinion:
These personality changes won't be forever. You've altered your brain chemistry by doing a fair bit of M over a short time, and you are going to be a bit different as the seretonin part of your brain rewires itself back up again. Over a long time scale after using M, your brain be slowly changing. Also, these immensely positive raving experiences are recent in your memory, and they're having a big effect on the way you behave.
Eventually, these rolling memories will fade - unless you keep rolling all the time, which is simply unsustainable by the way - and your brain will heal itself (the drug is supposedly damaging on a deep level, according to scientists who do research on the stuff.Not only to your brain but also your internal organs, heart... the organism-as-a-whole). These subtle brain changes, and the faded raving memories, will come to change you.
I noticed at first that I was more social and outgoing than I used to be, when I was sober and using Mdma on occasion. That faded eventually though and I think I ended up worse than I was initially for a while. I'm changing - I'm becoming more like raver me all the time - but it has nothing to do with Mdma anymore, it has to do with meditation and self effort. Rolling just opened the gate. Other drugs have had a far greater impact on my worldview than this one, which in all honestly I don't think really affected me that much, despite how incredible my experiences were - but I probably have some detectable memory impairment, I'm probably moodier due to my use of this drug, and I definitely put a fair amount of unnecessary stress on my body. Extensive use of this drug is simply not good for your body long term and you may end up less stable. I am lucky - for the sake of my body - that I didn't stay on this raving path for too long, if I had done it any more than I did, I'd most likely be right fucked up in the head by now.
Not to mention, I'm pretty sure it made me suicidal at times when I was getting off it, looking back I was so fucking miserable for a while there, and I never connected it to my Mdma use, because it was a few months after I had used, but I feel like way too much rolling back in the day must have been a contributing factor to the period of depression I went through last year. The side effects show up long term, after doing a lot of M it really takes a while to stabilize. Just because you're ok now doesn't mean you'll be ok 2 months from now, even if you were to stop rolling.
These personality changes won't be forever. You've altered your brain chemistry by doing a fair bit of M over a short time, and you are going to be a bit different as the seretonin part of your brain rewires itself back up again. Over a long time scale after using M, your brain be slowly changing. Also, these immensely positive raving experiences are recent in your memory, and they're having a big effect on the way you behave.
Eventually, these rolling memories will fade - unless you keep rolling all the time, which is simply unsustainable by the way - and your brain will heal itself (the drug is supposedly damaging on a deep level, according to scientists who do research on the stuff.Not only to your brain but also your internal organs, heart... the organism-as-a-whole). These subtle brain changes, and the faded raving memories, will come to change you.
I noticed at first that I was more social and outgoing than I used to be, when I was sober and using Mdma on occasion. That faded eventually though and I think I ended up worse than I was initially for a while. I'm changing - I'm becoming more like raver me all the time - but it has nothing to do with Mdma anymore, it has to do with meditation and self effort. Rolling just opened the gate. Other drugs have had a far greater impact on my worldview than this one, which in all honestly I don't think really affected me that much, despite how incredible my experiences were - but I probably have some detectable memory impairment, I'm probably moodier due to my use of this drug, and I definitely put a fair amount of unnecessary stress on my body. Extensive use of this drug is simply not good for your body long term and you may end up less stable. I am lucky - for the sake of my body - that I didn't stay on this raving path for too long, if I had done it any more than I did, I'd most likely be right fucked up in the head by now.
Not to mention, I'm pretty sure it made me suicidal at times when I was getting off it, looking back I was so fucking miserable for a while there, and I never connected it to my Mdma use, because it was a few months after I had used, but I feel like way too much rolling back in the day must have been a contributing factor to the period of depression I went through last year. The side effects show up long term, after doing a lot of M it really takes a while to stabilize. Just because you're ok now doesn't mean you'll be ok 2 months from now, even if you were to stop rolling.
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