cj
Bluelight Crew
205 represent 

shot 2 G's about 5 days ago; now took Vivitrol shot today and now longer using dope. lets see how this all plays out but pray for me peeps; lets see if the Vivi works and how well it works. I needed this to STOP; I may not be dope sick like I once was but I was still UNABLE TO FUCKING STOP USING! I came out of detox clean and would not using daily but every 2-3 days I would pick up the needle again and use it as an excuse to use. 2-3 days would pass and I would tell myself I need to stick a PIN IN MYSELF ASAP! its sick, isnt it? sure, I wasnt dope sick but the mine would start racing and I would feel I need to stick something in me in order to feel "better", ya know!? lets see how this all plays out and if I am feeling "normal" for ONCE!
So....I'm doing some figuring and i found a ride alllllll the way to OH. NJ is just a hop across PA, from there perhaps I'll finally see what this "oh the shit is everywhere, jerz go tha hardest" thing is about.
I have to do counseling anyway, man.. w/ the shot you have to see a counselor and go to a meeting once a month for both; you can do as many meetings as you want but we'll see. its been a week since I last used and I feel OK; I use Phenibut which is another type drug and that always KILLS me dope feelings but we'll see how all goes. hoping to stay away from IT ALL but who the fuck knows! been down this road many times and always had feelings to shoot; even when using methadone and on 95MG I'd still shoot into a vein just for the fuck of it and waste a gram just to waste money and feel nothing; I'd give away $100 like a fucking joke. man. I think of all the money I wasted on dope and it makes me sick.Vivitrol will stop you from getting high for like a month but it's not going to do shit for your cravings. Get into some counseling or something man.