General Heroin Discussion #18 - v. Stupidity ain't no badge of honor

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MargaritaPassion said:
1) i feel i am just on the verge of wanting to inject even though i have been clean now for 8 weeks ...
2) but why cant i try and everyone else did?...
3) this is the only think i can think of most of the time
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1) From personal experience, if you delay doing this, the thoughts will subside and then be removed (almost?) entirely. It may take a day, a week, or a month or two, but it will happen.

2) You claim "everyone else did." I maintain everyone else didn't. I'd venture to guess that IV use is the route of administration for only a minority of heroin users. "Everyone else does it" is poor justification.

3) Obsession to use heroin is not unusual for someone 8 weeks clean, in my experience. Addiction is characterized by obsession and compulsion. Refer back to #1.

You aren't alone. Millions have been exactly where you are at... weeks clean with a desire to use again. Some stayed the course and went on to live productive lives. I hope you are one.
 
MargaritaPassion said:
thanks for this..in my case it is that i feel i am just on the verge of wanting to inject even though i have been clean now for 8 weeks (which is the longest i have ever made it to be clean)

everyone is saying to not try etc but why cant i try and everyone else did? i am very scared tbh as i have only just managed to get my life back on track with leaving everything behind back in london to have a fresh start and then this is the only think i can think of most of the time ....
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You've been clean for 8 weeks dude, that's nothing. Honestly, I'm not trying to put you down or anything, but seriously.. give it some more time.
You say you managed to get your life back on track in a matter of 8 weeks. Good job. Keep it up.. Why throw it all away... AGAIN?
Like I said.. It's only been 8 weeks.. Give it some more time, man.
 
Yeah, I'd be shocked if you weren't obsessing about H after only 8 weeks clean.. Ha. It's totally normal.

Stick it out. Your mind is basically trying to trick you into using again with all these justifications you're using to relapse and IV. It's addiction. Your brain is right now deprived of the natural endorphins it produces that make you feel good.. so it is craving what you've been replacing those with, the much stronger endorphins released by opiates.

It takes about a year for your brain to start producing those natural endorphins again where you finally begin to feel normal again. So, hang in there and don't give in. Realize these thoughts/intense cravings you are having are a result of chemical changes in your brain, and the longer you abstain from using, the easier it will be and the less you will obsess about this shit.
 
I caved in today and copped, they ain't raising my dose fast enough. I remember last time I was on this and don't remember joensin this hard. I told my counselor Thursday how I was and he said "you can't expect to not have any cravings." I then told him that in the past I have been on done a few times and know roughly where my dose should be and I told the doctor and nurse during intake." I understand they gotta cover their ass and not kill anyone but 5mg increase every few days is not fast enough for me. I also realize I'm impatient when it comes to wanting to feel normal.

Oh and to the poster that has 8 weeks clean and wants to try shooting for the first time. I say don't do it. I have done it a few times but it wasn't enough for a rush because I had to drive home. It was very underwhelming and I don't plan on ever doing that again. To me it's not worth the extra health risks and spike in tolerance. I made sure to buy the needles myself and watched everything to keep the risks down. There were 2 guys and 1 girl and they used the same cup of water same tourniquet. I kept telling them where they were outing themselves at risk for blood contamination. In my opinion they didn't care because they told me on occasion they rinse the rigs with peroxide or alchohol and share it. They looked at me like I was stoopid for telling them that was a bad idea. What do I know about shooting drugs I don't do it they would say. I don't hang out with them anymore.
 
tomatalli said:
Well guys, I think I'm gonna take everyone's advice. Next Monday I'm gonna go down to the clinic and see what I can do, I'm wasting the best years of my life and I'm tired of watching other people have fun while I miserably hide my addiction to heroin at the age of 18
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You are making a great decision man.
 
^^

yeah it really just depends on the clinic as far as how fast they raise you. Some do it slow as shit and some do it quick. Mine for example does it 10mg's a day until you are stabilized.

Hang in there, man. It'll be worth it once you find the right dose.
 
^mine starts everyone off at 30 and raises up at 5mg/day until stabilized. Dowsnt seem like a lot but did the trick for me. Im at 59mgs. Think im the only one with a strange maintenance mg #.
 
I bought 4 works in Hartford today and I could not register, I'm fucking retarded I can't do anything correctly apparently I stuck myself 6 times and couldn't register trying to teach yourself to shoot up with no one who knows how around is impossible for me I'm so angry. I literally suck at life
 
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^I think you need to settle the f down for a second. Not that long ago you are planning on making good decisions and then you are back to making bad ones. You are getting down on yourself because you can't shoot heroin?!? You know over 99% of the population won't judge you on whether you can spike a vein or not, but they will think you are a moron for shooting dope. Not too many girls out there who will date you because you registered your first time shooting dope(probably not too many you'd find desirable, at least), but there is a damn lot who won't come near you for trying to. See what I am saying...(just read the title of this thread)

idk what your plans are exactly, but if its to go out with a bang by shooting and then move to the methadone, I suggest rethinking that strategy. I know in the addicts mind it seems reasonable, but it is not. Try to get rid of the attitude that you have to experience shooting the stuff. And if you really want to get on methadone then its going to make it that much more difficult to make the move and stay on it.
 
tomatalli said:
I bought 4 works in Hartford today and I could not register, I'm fucking retarded I can't do anything correctly apparently I stuck myself 6 times and couldn't register trying to teach yourself to shoot up with no one who knows how around is impossible for me I'm so angry. I literally suck at life
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Some people just have more trouble at it then others. Some can grab a needle for the first time and be a pro right away, others literally can never do it by them selves.

You're lucky to be the one who cant because now you should just put the needle down and forget about that shit. You'll be saving your life. Of course... I know that's not how you're gonna see it. Hah.

Whatever you end up doing, just be safe. Do you have any experienced IV'ers you know that can show you first hand? That's how most people I know learned. It's how I did. I was one of the people who it just came really naturally to, unfortunately. It was like I was born to be a human pin cushion..ha.
 
tomatalli said:
I bought 4 works in Hartford today and I could not register, I'm fucking retarded I can't do anything correctly apparently I stuck myself 6 times and couldn't register trying to teach yourself to shoot up with no one who knows how around is impossible for me I'm so angry. I literally suck at life
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You are better off just squirting the shot up your nose. The few times I tried by myself I could not register either. After stabbing myself for the 5th or 6th time I was disgusted with myself and what I was doing. I had my friend hit me once or twice and it wasn't enough for a massive rush that everyone talks about. One time I got sick to my stomach watching him jab himself trying to find a vein. After that I didn't even want to be around when they were shooting. Take it from me kid you ain't missing out and are better off not shooting. Anyone that says differently and tries to get you to do it is not a friend you want to hang with.
 
RTrain said:
^I think you need to settle the f down for a second. Not that long ago you are planning on making good decisions and then you are back to making bad ones. You are getting down on yourself because you can't shoot heroin?!? You know over 99% of the population won't judge you on whether you can spike a vein or not, but they will think you are a moron for shooting dope. Not too many girls out there who will date you because you registered your first time shooting dope(probably not too many you'd find desirable, at least), but there is a damn lot who won't come near you for trying to. See what I am saying...(just read the title of this thread)

idk what your plans are exactly, but if its to go out with a bang by shooting and then move to the methadone, I suggest rethinking that strategy. I know in the addicts mind it seems reasonable, but it is not. Try to get rid of the attitude that you have to experience shooting the stuff. And if you really want to get on methadone then its going to make it that much more difficult to make the move and stay on it.
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Great post. I think some people get too wrapped up in this site and the drug scene in general that this just becomes the norm for them, and they don't consider how the rest of the world thinks about these things. But I really liked this post and how you put in into perspective for the kid.
 
I think what I'm doing is going in at too little of an angle. I'm gonna try it again tomorrow are you supposed to try and pull it back or does blood fill into the syringe when ur in a vein? I gotta question about the cotton, the cotton i used left like a really small thread of cotton on the needle which I would think is bad what kind of cotton should I use? Like cotton balls? Some kind of filter made of cotton?
 
^pull the string of cotton off the needle. Once the needle is in your skin, pull the plunger back to create a vaccuum, and once you are in the vein it will fill with blood. It just does fill with blood if you dont create the vaccuum. I think theres a guide to safe IVing in a mods sig.

But rethink this, you are only 18. No matter the age, IVing is not a road anyone should go down. Youre really going to fuck up whatever you got going for you now. If you think you have a shitty life, wait until youre an IV addict and youll look back at this time wishing you never picked up a needle and wishing you could get back everything you threw away. Just my 2¢.
 
tomatalli said:
I think what I'm doing is going in at too little of an angle. I'm gonna try it again tomorrow are you supposed to try and pull it back or does blood fill into the syringe when ur in a vein? I gotta question about the cotton, the cotton i used left like a really small thread of cotton on the needle which I would think is bad what kind of cotton should I use? Like cotton balls? Some kind of filter made of cotton?
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Use a little ball of rolled up cotton, about the size of Lincoln's head on a penny.

As for the registering, yes you have to pull back. But, if you do the vacuum thing I told you about, then when you enter the vein the blood will automatically shoot into the syringe. Sometimes you have to pull back a little anyway though to be sure.

Experiment with different angles. Certain veins require slight adjustments. The normal angle is about 15 degrees. Sometimes steeper, sometimes shallower, etc. See what works for you.
 
Thanks...I over draftee my account to get the needles off the internet so I'll feel awful stupid for paying a $35 fee for nothing
 
tomatalli said:
Thanks...I over draftee my account to get the needles off the internet so I'll feel awful stupid for paying a $35 fee for nothing
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it took me weeks before I could hit myself....now I'm at the point I have to hit on my hands!! Never want to get to that point; wore out my arms when I used to shoot coke. That shit gets to you and you keep shooting till the cokes all gone...8(
 
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