General Heroin #19 v. Posting Between the Nods

[Tommyboy]

I remember doing the same thing!...in 2004!

10 years later and my progression has been amazing! I'm still in the exact same spot I was when I was 19, actually worse, but I did eventually pick up the needle and go down that road....yahhh buddy!


I was using hardcore the last 2 years and had pretty much given up on life. I didn't die and now I'm forced to try and rebuild. It's like the last 2 years didn't happen though. I didn't progress at all and my sense of time is all sorts of fucked up. Except time did go by and I didn't do anything with it

Wow, that sounds all too familiar.

I remember like 5 years ago before I was that deep into dope I used to look back at the shit I did the year before and feel that I became more mature than that, so wouldn't act like that anymore. I was able to do that for a few years up until about 2 years ago when things got bad, and that's when time stood still. I can't look back at the last 2 years saying 'wow I can't believe I did that, I'm way more mature than that now' because I'm still doing the same shit. But like you, I'm slowly rebuilding and trying not to waste too much more time.

 

[cj]

What kind of regiment did they have you on?

The detox place gave me a 9 day useless sub taper starting at 6mg twice a day and ending at 2mg once a day. So I didn't get sick until my 3rd day in the actual treatment center. They would only give me clonidine Advil roboxin and seroqual. So it was as close to cold turkey as I ever want to get. I didn't sleep a wink for 6 days and only got 2-3 hours a night the second week. I didn't start feeling better till like day 16. Absolutely brutal.

 

[MMT]

i was prepping a shot on the sidewalk in downtown la and I turn around and there was 3 undercovers running at me with guns

Hello felony

You mean they didn't let you get off like they did in the movie 'Wonderland' where the two dicks let the biker junkie get high before they questioned him AT THE CRIME SCENE,no less. I guess that shit only happens in the movies,huh?

 

[tomatalli]

Why do some black people have one long nail?

 

[Felonious Monk]

Why do some black people have one long nail?

Cocaine bumps? It looks cool?

 

[smokemctoke420]

i would say its a coke scooper, but that's just my opinion.

 

[northsideboy]

Wow, that sounds all too familiar.

I remember like 5 years ago before I was that deep into dope I used to look back at the shit I did the year before and feel that I became more mature than that, so wouldn't act like that anymore. I was able to do that for a few years up until about 2 years ago when things got bad, and that's when time stood still. I can't look back at the last 2 years saying 'wow I can't believe I did that, I'm way more mature than that now' because I'm still doing the same shit. But like you, I'm slowly rebuilding and trying not to waste too much more time.

Yeah, I can relate to that as well, and it can be even more depressing when I think about it sometimes. I think I'm a bit older than the average age here (not judging, just guessing and stating the facts) - and I can think about all those milestones I never thought would happen - getting a serious FT job, getting married, buying a house, having kids - things I was convinced I would never have. And thinking, "this thing" is so wonderful, I've made it, I'm mature, I'd never, ever have a reason to do dope again...and now I've spent the last two + years trying to climb up out of a relapse, even though I have all those things...feeling like I'm in the same place I was 25 yrs ago, and nothings changed.

However - I always have to work the Saturday before Memorial Day, it's part of my job. I specifically remember last year getting up early, hitting my spot on the way to work and it was closed, so I cruised around and checked out some other tips in a pretty hot neighborhood. Had no luck, then tried one last area - and bingo, picked up some slamming bags from this sketchy kid in a spot where I got ripped off previously. I soooooo wanted to go cop today after work - and my guy texted me, which always ups the craving. But I thought about playing with my kids, hanging with my wife, watching the hockey game later with some bbq...and I resisted. Told myself I could pick up tomorrow if I really wanted to.

So I guess that's progress...

Have a great holiday weekend, y'all. Peace, and much respect to any vets or anyone serving in the armed forces.

 

[Carl Landrover]

You mean they didn't let you get off like they did in the movie 'Wonderland' where the two dicks let the biker junkie get high before they questioned him AT THE CRIME SCENE,no less. I guess that shit only happens in the movies,huh?

I think everyone worries about getting busted, but I used to get extra worried that I was going to get busted before I did my shot. I used to be real sick when I'd pick up, so I used to think what I would say if the cops came. I would probably beg them to let me finish the shot and show them unopened bags so that they knew they would still have dope to arrest me for. I don't think they'd let me shoot up though. To counter that I would threaten them with vomit and diarrhea. They don't want me to puke and shit all over the backseat of their cop car? Let me do my fuckin shot!

 

[ohshea]

Why do some black people have one long nail?

this made me laugh so fckin hard i dont know why, maybe because i imagined like some 10 year old asking it. That shit looks fuckin gnarly tho cos they dont take care of it and it turns a greeny grey w shit underneath it. Yea its a coke scooper but not very practical and now i think its a fashion statement just like dudes wearin pyrex shorts now.

i was prepping a shot on the sidewalk in downtown la and I turn around and there was 3 undercovers running at me with guns

Hello felony

I had some job training BS two years ago downtown and had to walk thru skid everyday. Disgusting watching everybody get well. This one bish had the audacity to get snappy w me cos shes in the middle of the fuckin sidewalk and cant hit and im trying to walk around her but theres no room, so got pissed when i stepped on her shit.

I hit an arterey again last week. It fuckin sucked, i was hitting in ol faithful, i went in at a strange angle and hit immediately but was at a strange angle and was surprised i hit but just to be safe i tried depressing the plunger just a smidge to make sure i was in a vein. When i pulled back blood would come in but was kinda stuck, so i just said fuck it i know im in and forced it down and holy fckin shit i screamed and jumped up flailing my arm and it swelled up so big i had those fat inverted knuckles that just look like dimples and sausage fingies. Shit hurts feels like injecting fire. And not the good kind muahah

 

[goodtymes123]

Well I made it 8 hours out of rehab this time before I bought some dope. I had to do some just for my own sanity. I find that treatment makes me want to use just out of pure spite. Like look now I'm high and I'm not dead. And It's crazy how much lower my tolerance is after 30 days clean and with no subs to block the high. I got so fucking sick! Puked for 4 hours strait. It was wonderful

Hey man, this past Thursday was exactly 120 days clean for me and was also the first time I had used in 120 days and I know what you mean about the low tolerance. I have never IV'd, only snorted and I snorted 1/2 of a bag (sawbuck) and was completely fucked. I couldn't see straght, nodding off, and most of all itching like crazy ( which for some reason I absolutely love) but also, the high lasted about 12 hours, from about 10pm Thursday to about 10am on Friday. Funny cuz I bought 3 jabs from my guy just out of habit cuz before I stopped, 3 jabs would barely last me 3 days. But anyway I stopped back in January cuz I got popped by CPD and after a week in CCDOC, the judge let me out on electronic monitoring whiv sucked, but I went from a 14 bag a day habit to quiting cold turkey. It took almost 3 months to feel "normal" again but still not 100%. Then on April 22nd my case was resolved and shortly after went back to work again, and now since Thursday been doing a half bag a night and feeling absolutely phenomenal. I'm sure it won't take long for my tolerance to go back up.

 

[Carl Landrover]

^
Be careful, WD symptoms come back much, much quicker if you've already been addicted before.

 

[tomatalli]

i would say its a coke scooper, but that's just my opinion.

That's what I was thinkin too, some kind of powder scooper. Have any of you guys seen the wire? I highly recommend it

 

[MMT]

^
Be careful, WD symptoms come back much, much quicker if you've already been addicted before.

^That and knowin where it's at. I might add that each kick is/seems worse than the last the older you get. Even on shorter runs.

 

[JunkieDays]

this made me laugh so fckin hard i dont know why, maybe because i imagined like some 10 year old asking it. That shit looks fuckin gnarly tho cos they dont take care of it and it turns a greeny grey w shit underneath it. Yea its a coke scooper but not very practical and now i think its a fashion statement just like dudes wearin pyrex shorts now.




I had some job training BS two years ago downtown and had to walk thru skid everyday. Disgusting watching everybody get well. This one bish had the audacity to get snappy w me cos shes in the middle of the fuckin sidewalk and cant hit and im trying to walk around her but theres no room, so got pissed when i stepped on her shit.

I hit an arterey again last week. It fuckin sucked, i was hitting in ol faithful, i went in at a strange angle and hit immediately but was at a strange angle and was surprised i hit but just to be safe i tried depressing the plunger just a smidge to make sure i was in a vein. When i pulled back blood would come in but was kinda stuck, so i just said fuck it i know im in and forced it down and holy fckin shit i screamed and jumped up flailing my arm and it swelled up so big i had those fat inverted knuckles that just look like dimples and sausage fingies. Shit hurts feels like injecting fire. And not the good kind muahah

Where is 'ol' faithful' ? lol
I'm glad I never hit an artery.. that shit must suck so bad. How is it though? Are you good, or did you need to get medical attention for it?
Hope you're alright.

 

[northsideboy]

^That and knowin where it's at. I might add that each kick is/seems worse than the last the older you get. Even on shorter runs.

Yeah, for real, Carl & MMT.

I can't use for 2-3 days straight w/o getting sick.
So I know if I pick up, just for a weekend session, I'll be sick come Monday morning when I go back to work.
There's no willpower to use every other night or whatever. And if I pick up, it's not gonna be for some 1,2 bag trick, that's a waste of time.
I just accept that the shit's got consequences, no matter what they are.

Remembering that is another thing that helps keep me straight. Or on my legal meds, however you wanna look at it.

But there's nothing, nothing at all, like that feeling when you get well. This is small chipping shit, but just before I stopped using this last time, I was trying to keep it to a few days here and there, so it wouldn't get out of control, quantity/money-wise. I'd use Friday - Sunday, go to work Monday and start to get "flu" around 10am. Start the subs again around noon. I'd always try to leave one last bag at home, so when I got home from work Monday night, I'd get that bag, and like magic - I'd feel normal. Not high or buzzed, just well.

That feeling, getting straight, is almost as good as getting high. Even equal in it's own certain way.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

^That and knowin where it's at. I might add that each kick is/seems worse than the last the older you get. Even on shorter runs.

True dat.

 

[ohshea]

Where is 'ol' faithful' ? lol
I'm glad I never hit an artery.. that shit must suck so bad. How is it though? Are you good, or did you need to get medical attention for it?
Hope you're alright.

Hahaol faithful is this vein that run alongs the side of my wrist, if you traced a line along the aide of your thumb down your arm on aide of wrist it runs there. Problem is theres a fat arterey that runs right near it. I name it that becauwe its quick to heal and a good fallback if i cant find anywhere else to hit, so i try not to use it frequently. Ive hit the same arterey on my left arm twice but never hit it on my right arm before. Im fine the swelling subsided on the third day, my hand looked like an inflated latex glove. Thanks for asking though

Its funny to seenposts in OD about people who think they may have hit an arterey and most people say youll know. you most defintley will know. The problem w tar though is its so dark you cant tell if its veinous blood or arterey blood thats coming in the barrell.

 

[goodtymes123]

^
Be careful, WD symptoms come back much, much quicker if you've already been addicted before.

Thanks for the heads up. I did not know that. I know it'll be a lot easier to get exactly to where I was at with my addiction before I quit, but I figured withdrawals wouldn't come unless I started using at least a couple bags a day everyday for maybe a few weeks. But I'm trying not to use everyday anyways. Like today and tonight I didn't do any, and I'm planning on not doing any tomorrow or tomorrow night. I wanna try and keep it to maybe 3 non-consecutive nights a week and definitely none during the day while at work cuz once I start doing that is always when my usage and tolerance just gets way out of control.

 

[northsideboy]

GT - withdrawl won't come back unless you use daily for at least a couple of weeks?

IDK man, good luck with the wiiipower and all, but read what I said upstairs. All these other guys know what they speak of...

 

[Carl Landrover]

Thanks for the heads up. I did not know that. I know it'll be a lot easier to get exactly to where I was at with my addiction before I quit, but I figured withdrawals wouldn't come unless I started using at least a couple bags a day everyday for maybe a few weeks. But I'm trying not to use everyday anyways. Like today and tonight I didn't do any, and I'm planning on not doing any tomorrow or tomorrow night. I wanna try and keep it to maybe 3 non-consecutive nights a week and definitely none during the day while at work cuz once I start doing that is always when my usage and tolerance just gets way out of control.

WDs coming back quickly once you've been addicted is one of the reasons quitting opiates is really hard. You can go through all the pain of quitting, but then a few days of abusing and you're starting to feel symptoms come back. It's not like you'd be in full blown WD, but it comes on much, much quicker once you've already been there before.

Maybe you'll be able to use here and there, but using 3 nights a week seems like way too often if you're trying to avoid addiction and dependency issues. Even once a week I think is too much. I can't speak for everyone on here, but I can guess that close to 100% of the people posting on this thread have tried to use recreationally again after being addicted. It might be alright for a few weeks, but for me at least, it always lead back to physical dependency.

Once you've been addicted it's very hard to go back to infrequent use.