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Gay Guys: Are There Guys Who Think They Can Just Treat You Like A Bitch?

AbbeyLee said:
It'd be really cool if you were him. I had to kick him out cos he was doing heroin in our loungeroom with this woman who was a really nasty piece of work. No idea if he's even still alive. You aren't Aussie are you?
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Yeah, just edited my last post - I'm from Melbourne, I wonder if I met you or your housemate or if our times do not line up.
 
~Winterborn~ said:
I was out in the clubs all the time from from 2001 to 2005 and then less often after that. I went to The Peel the most of gay clubs I think. Mostly I went to goth and techno nights but I always ended up there or Revolver at 5am
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Yeah we went to The Peel but never Revolver. Does your name start with B? 😊
 
na it was a split

Social - Trans People & Dating Apps (Offshoot Thread from Gay Guys Thread)

Did he really just give up because there was too much text? he's always mentioning how clever he is yet can't digest a four minute read? or perhaps he's so busy fighting those post-modern neo-marxists he just can't spare the time. Reading is for dumb dumbs.
bluelight.org bluelight.org

I noticed as I had posted in reply to wanting someone who was not into your gender and thinking that a cut and shut would change this.

understandable the two topics are probably in opposition of each other.
 
I've been on an extended vacation from here for so long I can't even remember. Because of this, I don't really have a feel for the level of butthurt people get on here, so I will preface this by saying this is the opinion of me, a gay guy, and only my opinion. The majority of gay guys I've met are the biggest hoes on the planet and proud of it. I've known some ladies that were pretty slutty and gay guys (I'll just say the vast majority I've met) put them to shame. Going to a gay club in Dallas is literally like going to a meat market. The ones that are on an endless mission to hook up as much as possible tend to be the ones with these attitudes (called "Dallitude" here). Also, I think they really play off of the confidence you are displaying. I've never had one give me any lip, probably because I'm a bulky masculine dude and if any of them every pulled that shit with me, they'd get put in their place in a hurry. Having said all of that, there are straight guys and ladies that always think they can treat people like shit. You just have to be assertive and confident enough to not put up with it. Know what you bring to the table and if somebody doesn't like it, tell them to kick rocks and let them know that it's their loss.

After rereading this, it sounds arrogant and like I think I'm better. I assure you, that is not how I mean it. I would probably be considered EXTREMELY old-fashioned in the gay community. I don't cheat if I'm in a relationship and I demand the same. I also demand honesty. If someone does cheat on me, that is the only time I cheat, and I do it big. Right before I break up with them. All of this is made known well in advance, so there's no excuses. Now if someone wants to do something different with another person involved, I'm probably gonna be ok with that as long as we've discussed it. The extreme promiscuity kinda grosses me out. Don't get me wrong, I've been through my slut phase so I'm not judging, just letting my preferences be known. Sex is fun and I definitely enjoy it, but there are a lot of other things going on in the world for me to be consumed with it.
 
AbbeyLee said:
I met my husband and father of child online in the 90s when it was Internet Relay Chat, which was just scrolling text.

There were channels and we were both on #philosophy and #politics. So it was more of a shared interest thing.

They pretend it's that now but it's really just a catalogue of faces, ages, locations.. 😒
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I met a longterm gf online to back in like the early 2000's i think. But that was way different then tinder or grinder really. I have no real desire to use tinder because most of the women in my area are Karens anyway
 
CFC said:
Yes, of course. Lots of gay guys know they're good looking and lots of other gay guys will hit on them. And not only does it give them a lot of power to pick and choose, it can naturally make them feel a bit more, uh, entitled, maybe, and to take the attention and their elevated status for granted.
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When they assume I'm hitting on them or attracted to them I just like to be like "Ewwwwww, no! LOL!" and watch them implode
 
AbbeyLee said:
Do Bears treat Twinks like Bitches?

I feel like I'm writing some logic question with made up words lol
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I think it's more some people treat other people like shit. If anything I'd say it tends to be (white) twinks who have the worst attitudes....but I hate to call out any entire group for one thing as it's silly.
 
Foreigner said:
There's no such thing as true equality in the world, only ideologically. There are always people who are "more" or "less" of something than other people. In the gay world, this hierarchy plays out almost entirely based on looks and physical attributes, and it is all channeled through the lens of sex. (Side note, I am talking about gay CULTURE, there are obviously diverse individuals out there.) Hypermasculine features are favoured: muscles, facial hair, height, deep voice (especially if it's non-faggy), emotionally subdued demeanor, stoicism, etc. Men with these attributes or those who are just above average attractive in general are usually acutely aware that they are higher on the hierarchy and behave accordingly, sometimes as jerks. 10/10 guys will usually only be with other 10/10 guys or slightly lower. They may use and discard men who reside at any level on the hierarchy, but that's no different than straight men and women who are hot. The self-awareness in the gay male world is excessive though. Because men are attracted to men they also curate themselves to be attractive, which means there is hyper awareness of bodily features and attributes. It's bizarre. It's why straight women always say that gay men are so attractive. Well duh, it's because they know what a good looking man looks like so they curate themselves.

What is unique in the gay world is that there are two hierarchies running simultaneously. There is the attractiveness hierarchy... so gay men are catty and competitive with one another like women are with other women about looks and sexual power. But then they are also competing in the dominance hierarchy, just like straight men do (i.e. the desire to be "alpha" with career and money). When the two complexes collide, it makes for a lot of intrigue. A man may like you because you're physically hot but then compete with you because you are a financial adversary. He may want to BE you because you are hotter than him. He may want to procure you and shelter you from other men, possessively. He may want to treat you like shit because he thinks he's better than you, yet he will still sleep with you because he's sexually attracted to you; or may he resent the fact that he's gay and attracted to you at all. Basically, all the dynamics that can occur between men and women in a statistically sex-divided way, ALL occur within gay male relationships.

And yes, there are bullies in the gay world. There are narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths. There are people with low self-esteem who take it out on other men. I don't know about the nerd thing. Nerds get made fun of everywhere, but in the gay world "nerds" and "geeks" are a subculture that is desirable to some. I for one love a guy who is attractive and also super smart because I can't date dullards.

It's so complicated. Yet somehow we manage to function in the world lol.
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all of this

as a gay you are hyper aware of how hot you are relatively because your the consumer and the producer.

its really hard to meet someone that you can connect with because the situations are bullshit where you contact other gays. clubs and apps. short term shallow scenarios
 
pofacedhoe said:
all of this

as a gay you are hyper aware of how hot you are relatively because your the consumer and the producer.

its really hard to meet someone that you can connect with because the situations are bullshit where you contact other gays. clubs and apps. short term shallow scenarios
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Decent men exist but they are often outsiders by choice. My experience of gay bars and clubs is that they are rife with insecurities, objectification and immature boy/teenager psychology in adult forms. It makes me more sad than anything because there are clearly developmental issues with a lot of these men. For most of us, there is no roadmap to being a gay man like there is for a straight man. We have to figure out a lot on our own and it's lonely. Or worse, we turn to gay culture which is like the blind leading the blind, based on values that are totally vapid and often destructive. A lot of gay men don't have their sexual awakening until their 20's or even later... so they have the sexual appetites and behaviours of adolescents. Straight men, by comparison, are having sex and building their sexual identity much sooner. Even if not actual sex, straight men are affirmed in who they are from day one, and there are traditional structures in place for them to follow, unless they choose to go a different route. Gay men don't have that choice. They are outsiders by default.

Then of course there is the fact that the first man most of have ever loved, our fathers, turned on us when we came out. So our primary male relationship was somehow betrayed. A lot of men never fully recover from that... and many aren't even aware that this primary shame is what drives a lot of their craven behaviours.

If the world treated gay men with dignity and respect from day one, a lot of these dysfunctional psychological complexes and behaviours could be avoided. I think the younger generation has it a little easier in that way. Unfortunately, critical race theory and social justice politics - mostly created by straight, white, liberal women in the post-secondary institutions - are adding more layers of identity distortion. Femme gay men used to be men but now they are being told that their femme interests mean they're actually women, and it's happening while they're still children, before they've even had a chance to go on a personal journey to figure it out. I'm not femme at all, but when I was a kid I had fun putting on my girl friends' dresses and having tea time. If that were today, maybe I would've been selected for surgery?

I've been lucky in love even though my relationships haven't worked out, ultimately. I still got to know what it's like. But those men were like little oases in an otherwise cultural desert. The mindset of most gay men is degenerate and I feel sorry for them, but I also have to protect myself from them. When I look back upon my own life path that brought me to where I am today, I seriously don't even know how I made it to this point relatively unscathed. There are so many perils and sources of utterly corrupting psychological programming. When I was young I only had to contend with prejudice. Children today have to contend with twisted ideologies masquerading as benefactors on top of prejudice. Talk about a mine field. The fact that I am still clear and able to evaluate life from a heart-centred place seems like a miracle.
 
Yea it's usually guys that mix up being dominant with being abusive. They can be younger or older any race, and any financial level, although it's more prevalent with guys that have lots of money.

There seems to be a rift between masculine men and feminine acting guys. So they're either picking on each other or f****** each other's brains out.

Confidence is sexy. Overconfidence, or self-centeredness is not for me.

There's all sorts of sub categories of guys out there. You just sort through the individual people to find one that fits your ideal match.

Those pnp guys are usually very pushy and think they are all super models or porn stars. But looks fade overtime, and if they never really develop a unique personality they end up getting stuck in that mindset that they're still 22 well past their prime.
 
crazyhairman said:
Yea it's usually guys that mix up being dominant with being abusive. They can be younger or older any race, and any financial level, although it's more prevalent with guys that have lots of money.

There seems to be a rift between masculine men and feminine acting guys. So they're either picking on each other or f****** each other's brains out.

Confidence is sexy. Overconfidence, or self-centeredness is not for me.

There's all sorts of sub categories of guys out there. You just sort through the individual people to find one that fits your ideal match.

Those pnp guys are usually very pushy and think they are all super models or porn stars. But looks fade overtime, and if they never really develop a unique personality they end up getting stuck in that mindset that they're still 22 well past their prime.
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Those pnp guys are usually sex addicts who have channeled all their priorities into sex, I find. If you try saying one intelligent thing to them they cower and shrink away. It's sad really, but they've dumbed themselves down because they think sex is the only good thing in life. The saddest thing of all is that when you get up close to them, they're not actually that attractive. You can see the lack of spirit in their faces.
 
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