RestlessRomantic
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2017
- Messages
- 5
Hello all,
I hate to tell this story of low, but it is important to my recovery. Two years ago, I was a bright and naive child who saw light in the world. Sad to say I no longer do. I am a soul who feeds on others. I would take people's pain, stomach it until it became mine -- and then attempt to resolve it. This worked for most of my life, and others took my kindness with glee. Then I made the biggest mistake of my life.. I fell in love. It wasn't a fairy tale love where I saw her, and she saw me. She desired me. For a while I denied her advances, but one Valentines Eve I planned a date with her. We played tennis, and she invited me home. We watched the awe striking movie, The Martian. I didn't know it then, but I was the happiest I've ever been.
Soon after, we became close and decided to date. For a long year, we faced external heartshops I wouldn't wish on anyone. She became stronger through this, I hardened my soul and forced people out. Friends, family, and eventually her. I decided I wanted to youthfully explore other women. I met a French girl named "Lola" (changed for privacy).
We became best friends, but my lust became too much and eventually we became more. Never once did I physically betray my love, but I heartlessly betrayed her trust. One night, my love locked herself in the bathroom with my phone. Trying to keep this story short, our relationship ended that night. Alas, she asked me to stay for a while longer. This created a burden inside me that believed we never ended.
Soon after our breakup, and my many attempts to win her back, I resorted to drugs to fill my empty soul. I experimented with cannabis -- to no avail. This plant only seemed to strengthen my loss. Then I experimented with pills. Percocet, Xanax, Oxycodone. Anything that would put my mind at ease. Lost my contact with pills, and found a new supply with MDMA.
This is where I stand now. I started using, (without any prior education) and became addicted. The first month was bliss. I would use max. a tenth of a gram a day, everyday for a week. Soon I started to feel flu like pains constantly. I stop for a while then do it again for weeks. My longest streak was 10 days using a gram every 2 days. I've managed to learn through "guesting" this site, and started to control my cravings. I am currently attempting to detox my system of cravings, along with letting my brain recover. I never use more than .1 gram a day, and never use more than once a week. I owe my health to this website, and wish to repay the debt through helping others learn from my stories. Comments would be highly appreciated, along with any knowledge that could be spread. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading.
I hate to tell this story of low, but it is important to my recovery. Two years ago, I was a bright and naive child who saw light in the world. Sad to say I no longer do. I am a soul who feeds on others. I would take people's pain, stomach it until it became mine -- and then attempt to resolve it. This worked for most of my life, and others took my kindness with glee. Then I made the biggest mistake of my life.. I fell in love. It wasn't a fairy tale love where I saw her, and she saw me. She desired me. For a while I denied her advances, but one Valentines Eve I planned a date with her. We played tennis, and she invited me home. We watched the awe striking movie, The Martian. I didn't know it then, but I was the happiest I've ever been.
Soon after, we became close and decided to date. For a long year, we faced external heartshops I wouldn't wish on anyone. She became stronger through this, I hardened my soul and forced people out. Friends, family, and eventually her. I decided I wanted to youthfully explore other women. I met a French girl named "Lola" (changed for privacy).
We became best friends, but my lust became too much and eventually we became more. Never once did I physically betray my love, but I heartlessly betrayed her trust. One night, my love locked herself in the bathroom with my phone. Trying to keep this story short, our relationship ended that night. Alas, she asked me to stay for a while longer. This created a burden inside me that believed we never ended.
Soon after our breakup, and my many attempts to win her back, I resorted to drugs to fill my empty soul. I experimented with cannabis -- to no avail. This plant only seemed to strengthen my loss. Then I experimented with pills. Percocet, Xanax, Oxycodone. Anything that would put my mind at ease. Lost my contact with pills, and found a new supply with MDMA.
This is where I stand now. I started using, (without any prior education) and became addicted. The first month was bliss. I would use max. a tenth of a gram a day, everyday for a week. Soon I started to feel flu like pains constantly. I stop for a while then do it again for weeks. My longest streak was 10 days using a gram every 2 days. I've managed to learn through "guesting" this site, and started to control my cravings. I am currently attempting to detox my system of cravings, along with letting my brain recover. I never use more than .1 gram a day, and never use more than once a week. I owe my health to this website, and wish to repay the debt through helping others learn from my stories. Comments would be highly appreciated, along with any knowledge that could be spread. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading.
