Gained a lot of weight hate myself

[tackyspiral]

Over the last two months i gained like thirty pounds and i am female and i am only 5'4'' so thats a lot
It was not totally my fault i kicked 2+ years of daily use of suboxone, benzos, and amphetamines all at once ... i started the process at my normal size which is small and at first i lost weight and then i gained soooo much
i am back on the add meds as of recently and i am starting to get more excercise and eating more normally and healthy but the weight is still not coming off and i am scared
this has kinda happened before when i went to rehab a couple years ago but the weight came off it seemed like a lot easier
i am obsessing about being fat wanting to binge eat and wanting to get high
At the same time maybe i am being a little bit hard on myself my body just went through Hell with the withdrawls which were not quick or easy i am still in the process of feeling like myself again
Also i really dont think that i could take my shirt off with a guy without being fucked up on something
With clothes sometimes i think i look ok and luckily its winter but without... not so good
I still struggle with not having my normal energy levels altho its getting better and like i said i am eating ok i think not tooo many calories and pretty healthy i am not perfect self discipline has never been my best quality
has anybody been through this? will i be ok? why is the weight not coming off? any advice other than obviously diet and excercise?

 

[Doomed2pain]

Hun I am bed bound andon strong opiates, my weight fluctuated but is now pretty constant. It is awful you feel like shit when you think you look bad.

My advice would be some for of mental health support, cbt, DBT etc. I would get into touch with a dr.

Eatplentyof protein, drink lots of water and tea as it detoxes you naturally. There are also various herbal supplements that could help.

I did mixed martial arts from being 9-22 and Now being physically incapacitated is just soul destroying.

Can you meditate? Would you like some tips?

 

[Missykins]

What meds are you currently taking, OP?

 

[Miss Kirsty]

Hey tackyspiral...I am femal, 5f 5i and i have just put on 20kgs in 4 months..I feel horrible too..When i was addicted i weighed 40kgs which is far too thin i knkow..I didnt like that look either..Unfortunately my bloke did..Im on methadone and the weight is pilling on..I hate it and am starting to not like my self much too..Soo i am right there with you! i dont feel comfortable naked..My partner makes it worse as he is totally useless with words..He says things Like "Dont let your weight worry you baby, i adjust with you as you get bigger." ANd worse....I walk 12 kms a day 5 days a week...i eat like shit..I am getting bigger every week i think!..Well you are not alone there chickadee...All the best..

Could you clear your inbox so i can PM you tacky?