HippocriticAnxiolytic
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2026
- Messages
- 1
Hey guys, its my first time posting on blue light, im a 36 year old white male living in Missouri. I feel as though a bit of clinical context is necessary when describing my history with substances and also with panic, anxiety, and anything related. So my drug use didnt start as recreation or a search for Euphoria. From the age of 13-16 I was chemically immobilized with strong opiates for the forced compliance of severe childhood s****l abuse. It may sound odd, but rather than steering me away from drugs it brought me closer to them because, they were the only thing that made that Hell survivable. Anyway flash forward to today. Ive now been sober from opiates for almost a year and meth for like 6 months. My anxiety since stopping makes meth psychosis look tame. I can't leave my house for very long at all and I never go in stores. With my history of substance use, getting anything effective for my anxiety is incredibly difficult. My MAT nurse finally talked the doctor into giving me a prescription of xanax. 2 .5mg tablets per day. At first this was wonderful and worked well. The doctor told me I'd never be able to come off xanax though if I tried. I dont know if I want to be dependent on benzos my whole life and my memory is already kinda shot. Ive also taken Celexa, gabapentin, wellbutrin, Valium, xanax, vistaril, propranalol. Nothing has worked like xanax. I recently ordered phenibut and gave it a try. I liked that I didnt feel sedated. But of the withdrawals are so bad I dont know that I should do that. I just need advice. At times I need sedation, I cant stop shaking otherwise. But sometimes I just want to feel okay in my body enough to have an actual conversation with someone. I NEED HELP YALL! The doctors think I really need them, so that I can abuse meds. Lol. Newsflash. Drugs are easily obtained, cheap, and there's no red tape or stigma. And if this is what sober life Is destined to, id rather get sloshed. But I dont want to. Not really. Anyway, I'm rambling. hope this made sense. Any ideas for an effective anxiolytic? I just dont know what to do. My xans are no longer working i can't get upped. What do I do?
