fuxking Hell

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
1,256
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Hate reading relapse stories like "i relapsed after 18 months clean" i understood that cravings should be gone after a few months, so that means i will have them forever? that is so discouraging... the fuck did i get like this? my life was great, i could do anything,
fuck me i dont even like drugs and i cant stop slamming this shit, who did this to me? i see absolutely no way out, everytime i try i fail
everyday i think lower of myself, i was about to go pro on my sport, the thing i loved the most, and now i cant even climb the stairs to my apartment without sweating like a pig
i have no words to describe this feeling, i can only feel shame and more shame because i cry
 
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If you don't even like it you're miles ahead of everybody else. You just have to get over the hump of detox and you're out of the woods. And it can be managed in 10 days to 2 weeks with suboxone which has a long enough Half-Life that when you take your last dose say on day 10, it will continue to work and manage any residual withdrawals for at least another four to six days. Since you're athletic you could be utilizing that time lifting weights, doing jumping jacks push-ups pull-ups everything you can to get those natural endorphins flowing faster again. Godspeed

Harm Reduction - Short-term Detox or Down-regulating Addiction: BEST USE FOR SUBOXONE?

SHORT-TERM REDUCTION OF DEPENDENCE & DETOX: one of the best uses of Suboxone / Subutex for addicts in despair. (Note: sublingual strips are better since they can be easily cut into smaller sizes to give you more control of how much you take) Because buprenorphine hangs around your body for so...
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Am using methadone cuz im afraid of PW from subs. What makes me want h is the fear of panic and anxiety attacks ive had since forever and have yet to find something that rids me of that other than h. Also im dealing with having my dealer around the corner of the apt i just fucking bought (she was not here at first, she appeared after) and the years of using also fucked up my thyroid so i have hella chemical imbalances that i need to treat. Recently i gave up on doing this alone so i called my family and i believe they are trying to get help for me but they are in another country which also makes me feel a bit scared and alone, haha
 
Dont be discouraged at the fails, the fact you tried again, is a step closer to kicking the habit. Trust me, eventually it will click. Start closing those doors, that led you to temptation. It is about reducing the receptors in the brain that makes you say fuck it, one more bag, by persistence, staying strong and staying away from fuckheads.
 
It's actually this one fuckhead i cant seem to get rid of, no matter how much i try to helphim, he prefers to drag us both into hell again and again i hate it
 
I've never heard of h fucking up one's thyroid. Are you sure you don't just have a fucked up thyroid?
 
"It's actually this one fuckhead i cant seem to get rid of, no matter how much i try to helphim, he prefers to drag us both into hell again and again i hate it"

Yeah - I suspect you are in a similar situation to me. You know you shouldnt, but you will, as a means to an end; but the end really should be you walking away. I learnt in my maniac period; rather standing my ground causing or getting into trouble the bigger man/ woman knows when to walk away.

And you and I both know it.
 
albertosal said:
It's hard baby, it really is. The cravings never really go away either, but they do become manageable. Each day it's just a little less. It's the hardest thing to go through, especially if you were primarily using for emotional reasons. I fucking hate having feelings, but its what makes us human.
I'm in the middle of a month long relapse after I put together a month and a half of clean time. I've got kratom and some Xanax to start kicking tomorrow, and 3 days off before I have to go back to work. I relapsed sure to emotional turmoil from the breakup I'm going through. I also got CLEAN in the middle of the breakup, so I know I can do it. You can do this. It sucks, it's hard, you never think you're going to make it through... but you can. Just imagine how much easier your life will become once you stop putting that trash in your veins.
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hey, how did that go? I had a week long run and rarely go online when im using but it's been 24 hrs with nothing but a zip of codeine, i am HORRIBLE at managing feelings, but i was forced to exist so here i am. My life was painful before heroin aswell so idk why am i even trying haha i just wish i had something to motivate me even a little
 
woyzeck said:
"It's actually this one fuckhead i cant seem to get rid of, no matter how much i try to helphim, he prefers to drag us both into hell again and again i hate it"

Yeah - I suspect you are in a similar situation to me. You know you shouldnt, but you will, as a means to an end; but the end really should be you walking away. I learnt in my maniac period; rather standing my ground causing or getting into trouble the bigger man/ woman knows when to walk away.

And you and I both know it.
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The worst part is that he is my best friend and he has zero interest in dropping that stuff but damn just thinking about never seeing him again makes me feel terrible, he was my only company for such a long time, idk what to do, im actually sad now
 
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