Wow...Does this thread strike a resonant chord with us (me) or what...Love and E, is it real?, illusion?, does it help us to open doors that simply allows us to be more loving and to see the abundant love in the universe that is there for all of us..or does it blind us to differences? I have been asking myself these questions for days now, and being the hopeless romantic I am, I opt for the former explanation rather than the latter.
As a queer man, it's often been hard for me to distinguish between sex and love. My friends and I have a saying when we're rolling which we say as a joke/reality check
which I hope doesn't offend anyone...It's meant to aknowledge the incredible power of E, whether its the substance itself or the fact that it acts as a wonderful key to unlock love and empathy: "I love you little, Adolph"
A friend of mine coined it years ago during his 2nd Xperience when he said that he felt so loving that he could be in a room with that evil little shit of the holocaust and could still feel loving feelings of forgiveness towards him...powerful? you bet..But when the E wore off all he (and we) could feel towards such an evil creature was repugnance and horror...I wish I had it in me to forgive and forget as Mother Love says, but in such an extreme case it is very easy to distinguish between reality and illusion...In other not so extreme cases, it may be more difficult to make that distinction....
I'm rambling, but what I guess I'm trying to say is that I've had a few E induced experiences that seemed very real during the moment, but didn't survive for very long post E...However, I agree with GuruDaddy and others...E showed and shows me that we have am amazing capacity to love and for that I'm very very grateful. It dosn't invalidate the feelings, regardless of the person they were directed to, and longevity shouldn't necessarily be used as the ruler by which me measure the validity or value of expressions of love.
I had a 14 year relationship with one man that for many years was open for many years and acknowledged our infinite capacity to love...It ended 2 years ago because we changed and along the way lost our ability to love each other for who we actually were instead of who we wanted each other to be....once we let go of those things we were free to love again, but this time as great friends with fewer expectations.
Two weeks ago, I saw someone across a dancefloor that I was incredibly attracted to, not just physically but in other ways..i sensed that there was something special here and that we were meant to know each other; I knew he was attracted to me too but I was too shy to approach as i thought he might have been with a boyfriend at the time. All week long, I was kicking myself in the head for not having the nerve to go up and say hello and I wondered if we would ever meet.
Well to make a long story short, we met last Friday night (he was Xing, i wasn't), he came up to me and said "You and I are meant to be in each other's lives ( talk about a great pickup line..lol)"
I insisted we not spend the night together right away, but his logic won out (wouldn;t it be great to just cuddle? - no sex)...Well we spent four days together and have already made plans again for this weekend...
We both acknowldged the tremendous power of E to create bonds of love and empathy, and have agreed to try to not move at an accerated pace so a strong foundation is there for whatever follows, whethere it is "just" a good loving friendship or more...All i know is that E helped me to truly see beyond the physical and to catch a glimpse of this man's soul...and in the process, to see my own.
All we have in the end is love. I now know how to say I love you in a 5th language not my own.
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Sometimes we can see the Light
In the strangest of pLaces
If we look at it right....
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