Fuck

Is it so wrong that I can admit that I am not ready to get clean yet?

I feel like such a slime ball for not WANTING to get clean. I want to WANT to get clean but if I think about it honestly, then, no, I am not ready to get clean. Maybe I am selfish, maybe I am scared, maybe I am not strong enough. Fuck.

 

Your good. At least you can be honest about what you want. Im of the opinion that its the struggle between sobriety and using that makes many of us so unhappy. If you wanna use do it with all your strength same with quitting this is not a game of half measures...

 

You're strong enough, you just don't know it yet

 

@crimson -- I like it. NO HALF MEASURES. Poor, poor Mike...

@pastel -- Thanks for the vote of confidence ... I guess I won't know it till I am there.

 

I feel the same way.

Why does it have to be illegal and so fucking expensive feel normal, not depressed or in pain, both mentally and physically? Why should it matter to anybody else what I choose to do with my life and my body? I want to use a product that derives from a fucking plant that nature has provided to earth through evolution. How the fuck did people allow governments ban fucking plants and take away the right to grow them, eat or smoke them?