Fuck.

I'm feeling so empty right now.
I feel like every single day has no meaning and like I'm just pointlessly drifting through life. I smile and I see people and I pretend to be enjoying my time with them but really I just wish it would all end.
I wish I weren't so far from home and I could just squeeze my little sister whenever I felt like this and remind myself that there are some good things in this world. But I even had to mess that up. Moving away from home was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I hate it here. I've got no one and nothing to hold onto. I don't like the atmosphere and I just want to be back home where I know how things work and where everything is familiar and makes sense.
Fuck I hate myself. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. It's just not worth it. What's the point of living when you've got no one? I've got no friends here, no boyfriend, nothing. Why the hell would I go on.
I think I'm going to go to the hospital tomorrow and tell them I'm afraid I might try to kill myself. I feel like a mess and like I'm not in control anymore. I'm just so fucking terrified.

 

One of the greatest parts of life is that it is inevitable that there will be change. Things might be shitty now and you might not have many friends, but that won't be something that is constant. Keep living your life and taking care of yourself the best you can and things will work out, even if they do take a while. Do the best you can, and good things will happen for you.

 

Thank you spork
I'm feeling a little better today. I think lack of sleep is really starting to get to me, but it helped to vent on here a bit last night. Happy to have this website to hold on to

 

I'm happy that Bluelight is here as well; for you, myself, and the incredible amount of people who have benefited from it.

I know I can be a mess when I miss out on precious sleep, so you're definitely not alone there. Make sure you're getting those precious Zs girly. You really do need them.

 

Pagey I hope things are better for you now since you have written this.

Please know you will always have a sympathetic ear from me if you feel you need it whenever I'm online.

You come across so differently when i chat to you in other parts of this site.

Don't suffer in silence.