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Fuck Suicide.

Didgital

Didgital

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jul 22, 2018
Messages
1,168
Location
Colorado, USA
Sorry to bring such heavy news, but
A fellow bluelighter and one of my earliest psychedelic friends attempted suicide recently by ingesting approximately 700mg of flubromazolam. He went to a forest and fortunately somone found him before he died. The shitty thing is, he's now in a coma, and the docs anticipate severe brain damage. they say everyday hes in the coma it will be worse. So now he's really fucked himself. I worry if he recovers, hell try again.

Ive never dealt with a suicide before but let me just say this is one of the more painful experiences of my life.
Tell your friends you love them. You never know exactly what theyre going through.

The impulse ironically for me is to check out with a benzo, but i think thats a bad idea.
Fuck suicide and fuck benzos as well.
 
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Fuck man, I'm so sorry.
We do crazy things, addicts alcoholics and mental illness.
 
Didgital said:
he's now in a coma, and the docs anticipate severe brain damage
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Take no notice, they said it was 50/50 when I was nearly dead if I would ever walk, talk, feed myself again etc.
My mom was making plans for me to be looked after for the rest of my life & look at me now.
Yeah it took me 16 weeks before I could do up my shoes, shower myself etc but I am fine now.
 
I do have a little good news update. After I believe it was 6 days, homie has emerged. He's conscious, able to move around, talk, and has many memories. Some memories I guess he doesn't. But the docs say, its a very very good sign, and that he will most likely recover almost fully. They think every day he will be better and better in mind/memory, and physically.

So I am very relieved. I would be lying if I didn't have a personal freakout within that 6 days, but they had told me hope for the best, and plan for the worst, so I was pretty fucked up in my head for a few days.
 
I was confusing flubromazolam with flubromazopam which i do have experience with. He took flubromazoLAM which has a "heavy" dosage of 400ug. Holy fuck. That's like 1400 doses if he truly took 700mg.

They also extrapolated that on blood work so... I dunno if we'll ever get the full story unless he talks about it.
Either way, yay! Hope he's ok and changed his outlook but I have yet to speak with him, that may be a few weeks.
 
Seeing this late but hope your friend is ok and makes a recovery Digital. It really upsets me when any human is feeling hopeless enough and in enough pain to where the thought of suicide comes in. No one should have to feel pain like that ever. Wish there was something we could do to override that feeling. I really wish there was a magic wand to put smiles, hope and curiosity back into people that feel understandably drained.

But I get it. We all get it. That is why we have a forum called the Dark Side.

From what I read you all call flubromazolam so strong it could be a weapon. Sending healing vibes. Keep us updated on this Digital.
 
I hope your friend pulls through. It does look good from what I am reading here. But at the same time it's distressing knowing that someone has actually made a serious attempt.

I hadn't had the time to read all this up til now, and it was painful reading. The problem with benzos is that they do not work in this regard as they don't depress breathing like the barbiturates (and the kindred drugs such as Placidyl/Heminevrin/Doriden non-specific GABA inducers/enhancers) do.

He is lucky not to have any long term damage, because with depressants, and any of them, if you're passed out in a compromised position there is a possibility of long term nerve problems as well as blood clots forming and subsequently dislodging - some of them ending up in the brain and causing damage to it. Depressants are implicated in pulmonary embolism due to DVTs, etc.
 
Well. Sad to say. Homie was successful with his 2nd attempt.

He was a BLer but I don't remember his login or I'd put in the shrine forum.

He wasn't super active here but this kid was one of a kind and really made waves across the global psychedelic community.

I'm sitting here thinking how I could have been more supportive but I also know that all of us are responsible for our own happiness and no one elses.

He was a good soul, and I hope wherever he is, he feels no more pain.
 
Didgital said:
Well. Sad to say. Homie was successful with his 2nd attempt.

He was a BLer but I don't remember his login or I'd put in the shrine forum.

He wasn't super active here but this kid was one of a kind and really made waves across the global psychedelic community.

I'm sitting here thinking how I could have been more supportive but I also know that all of us are responsible for our own happiness and no one elses.

He was a good soul, and I hope wherever he is, he feels no more pain.
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Be easy on yourself. At the end of the day you probably could not have done much. Live on for the one you have lost. Easier said than done, I know. My heart goes out to you and the one you have lost.
 
Didgital said:
Well. Sad to say. Homie was successful with his 2nd attempt.

He was a BLer but I don't remember his login or I'd put in the shrine forum.

He wasn't super active here but this kid was one of a kind and really made waves across the global psychedelic community.

I'm sitting here thinking how I could have been more supportive but I also know that all of us are responsible for our own happiness and no one elses.

He was a good soul, and I hope wherever he is, he feels no more pain.
Click to expand...
Damn man, I am really sorry for your loss, that hurts like shit.
 
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