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Fuck Sobriety

For me, sobriety lowers my quality of life and drug use improve it substantially. I have severe anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia, stage fright, fear of sleeping at night, OCD, intrusive thoughts, hypochodriasis, and the list goes on.

What has worked for me other than booze, benzos, and barbiturates (or other CNS depressants)? Nothing.


SSRI's kill my dick, cause avolition and anhedonia, destroy my libido, and cause suicidal ideation.


I wasted two years trying cognitive-behavioral therapy only to realize I had not changed at all and that the therapy was nothing more than one form of social science's many types of cargo cult, popularly promulgated, experimental, time-wasting theoretical malarkey.


So, what then, if not rapaciously quaffing libations and liberally popping sedatives/hypnotics, is a neurotic person to do? I shan't suffer with sobriety merely to appease society and satisfy the hoi polloi and anti-drug crusaders whilst I, myself, suffer with the angst, insomnia, plethora of phobias, and intense panic attacks accompanying the lack of inebriation sobriety entails and necessitates.


I sometimes secretly wish that everyone who so zealously and condescendingly advocate and ballyhoo the superiority of sobriety over intemperance be temporarily stricken with a fusillade of debilitating anxiety disorders. Within 48 hours, their minds will have surely been changed permanently, I say.
 
i enjoyed being "sober" recently for a year and half about apart from my meds (bupe and benzos), the occasional social drink and a couple of piss ups, and a few sporadic uses of other things, but most of the time i was as close as i've ever been to sober in many years...
 
Amen man fuck being sober. I gotta have something in order to stay sane from all this bullshit!
 
SirTophamHat said:
Do you have any links that support that last paragraph monky? I am intrigued.
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Stotched said:
He doesn't have any links because they don't exist. It's the paranoid ramblings of a mid twenties, white, chronic pot smoker. He probably believes fluoride in water is bad for you, and that chemtrails exist too...
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I don't believe flouride is bad for you (but maybe? haha). Chemtrails are not real. But I do know I got off a dozen pharmaceuticals with cannabis, and I'd be off all of them if it wasn't for the 2 ulcers in my intestines.

This is probably the best article out their on Endocannabinoid Deficiency. Ethan Russo is an incredible scientist and has published other important papers on cannabis and the endocannabinoid system (ECS).
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15159679
 
I've been sober for long periods and then relapsed and gone back to daily heroin usage. I do have a hard time generally dealing with life without drugs to change my head. When I'm sober I tend to be lonely and I feel like a part of me is missing or that I just can't access it. It may be different for me than for others though because I'm bipolar, so at times I get depressed and/or irritable from that. Now I'm pretty much sober except for drinking or smoking pot occasionally, and have tried to make this effort because of a bad heroin relapse during which I almost died and really caused a lot of hurt to my family. I do wholeheartedly love drugs though and miss taking them all the time. I just can get myself into real bad places behind them sometimes.
 
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do you not just feel sober when doing drugs every moment! i? i feel normal when im on meds/drugs whatever you want to call it. without it im sick and in unbearable pain. i dont really remember what its like to feel "sober"
 
Nom de Plume said:
For me, sobriety lowers my quality of life and drug use improve it substantially. I have severe anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia,

What has worked for me other than booze, benzos, and barbiturates (or other CNS depressants)? Nothing.


SSRI's kill my dick, cause avolition and anhedonia, destroy my libido, and cause suicidal ideation.


So, what then, if not rapaciously quaffing libations and liberally popping sedatives/hypnotics, is a neurotic person to do? I shan't suffer with sobriety merely to appease society and satisfy the hoi polloi and anti-drug crusaders whilst I, myself, suffer with the angst, insomnia, plethora of phobias, and intense panic attacks accompanying the lack of inebriation sobriety entails and necessitates.


I sometimes secretly wish that everyone who so zealously and condescendingly advocate and ballyhoo the superiority of sobriety over intemperance be temporarily stricken with a fusillade of debilitating anxiety disorders. Within 48 hours, their minds will have surely been changed permanently, I say.
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Amen and amen!!!!Preach on brother Plume,preach on.I could not agree more.You totally nailed it on that one,although I must add opiate pain meds to your afore mentioned list of benzos,booze,and barbs.We're definitely on the same page you and I.
 
I've been struggling with quitting bup for over 10 years now. My last attempt was May and lasted about 4 weeks. I just became a new mother and wanted this so badly for my child and her future. But what kind of mother am I who doesn't feel like ever getting off the couch? or doesn't ever feel like playing with my baby? or doesn't even feel like doing the laundry?
I read on sub website "physical dependence is not the same as drug addiction" That's an interesting thought. . . why? because when you say "drug addiction" that comes with a stigma? I suppose that people are dependent on heart medications, and blood pressure medications, and of course - anti-depressants.
I stopped wanting to be "high" a VERY long time ago. I just want to feel "normal." For me, "normal" is a VERY tiny dose of bup. As of right now I am getting by on 1mg a day. I honestly feel that I could stay on this extremely low dose for the rest of my life and be perfectly fine. Why then, does just this tiny bit of medication qualify me as a drug addict, or NOT being "sober?"
If I were not on that 1mg, I would need a whole cabinet full of prescription medications to replace the way this ONE can make me feel.

I know I am going off topic, but I like what someone asked earlier ' what IS sober?
I would like for once to be told that I am actually doing GOOD - and I am making the RIGHT decisions, and that I am not a horrible person because MY drug is different than YOUR drug.
 
@Loui the Dog : You are not an addict and are doing great.I can't immagine what 1mg of sub is doing for you but if it improves your quality of life and keeps you from needing to eat the medicine cabinet then you are doing wonderful things for you and your child.Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for taking something that makes you functional.You obviously care enough to be a good mother,that's a lot more than I can say for many I know.Keep up the good work and never,ever think less off yourself for a single mg of sub.Even 16mg a day beats the alternative.You do you and fuck what judgemental assholes say.
 
Stotched said:
He doesn't have any links because they don't exist. It's the paranoid ramblings of a mid twenties, white, chronic pot smoker. He probably believes fluoride in water is bad for you, and that chemtrails exist too. I used to be in this perpetual paranoid state when I smoked pot too. Always coming up for reasons to justify why I got high, when really I just liked being high. I'm glad I got off that mind destroying shit a long time ago.
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Chemtrails and flouride really are forms of government mind control. PM me if your interested in more info as I have proof of this. I've done extensive research on the subject
 
I feel that off and on as I am back sober again, but it's not easy… My pain is sky high physically….
8 years was worth it, although struggling to accept …. I'm very far away from that now.

Slowly getting back to ME, but it's a process… :)
 
downerhead said:
@Loui the Dog : You are not an addict and are doing great.I can't immagine what 1mg of sub is doing for you but if it improves your quality of life and keeps you from needing to eat the medicine cabinet then you are doing wonderful things for you and your child.Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for taking something that makes you functional.You obviously care enough to be a good mother,that's a lot more than I can say for many I know.Keep up the good work and never,ever think less off yourself for a single mg of sub.Even 16mg a day beats the alternative.You do you and fuck what judgemental assholes say.
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@downherhead @Loui the Dog your posts were so helpful i saved them for future inspirational read when i'm feeling =/ just this forum and everyones comments & seeing how similar boat we are all in has turned my night around from mega-depressed to positive i must say :)
 
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