There's something terribly wrong when I've been really sober for months and months, and life is still so empty that I want to get completely mashed out and escape. Is this why I went to college? Is this life? The only thing I ever think about is money and how to make more of it faster so that I never have to see anyone from my current life ever again. I feel like I haven't found my group yet at age 26 and it's disconcerting. How long have I overstayed my welcome at this job? One or two people disgust me so much that I get physically ill, and nothing they ever do can change that. Should I have quit when I realized this? What will I do for money? Fuck this, fuck all of this.
fuck my job and fuck everything
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- Thread starter captainballs
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Really know how you feel CB. My last job was Soul destroying, Management couldnt organise an Orgy at a Pornfest! There was a Cold and distant Hierarchy there and my Manager was Patronising me into Roles that were far below my Skill- level.
I stuck it out until my Contract ended though; purely for my Resume. I have a History of Sabotaging EVERYTHING instead of just changing/tweaking areas I need to change.
The Psychological Pattern is still in me but challenging it is key.
Sounds like your Stuck.
Stick with it until you can get as much advice as possible about whether you need to change something or whether your just panicking because theirs underlying issues that need to be addressed and you need to sort them out.
Dont get caught up in the Bullshit illusion that your seeing ATM.
Course your not going to be stuck in this forever if it's not right for you, but until you rationally Map out alternatives that get your needs met, only then you can move in that direction.
Sounds like your lonely as well.
You might have to start looking in other areas to get this abated, feeling alone and disconnected is fuking horrible!!
I rekon you need to join something to combat the negative shit your experiencing in you job, in the interm, until you can make plans?
I stuck it out until my Contract ended though; purely for my Resume. I have a History of Sabotaging EVERYTHING instead of just changing/tweaking areas I need to change.
The Psychological Pattern is still in me but challenging it is key.
Sounds like your Stuck.
Stick with it until you can get as much advice as possible about whether you need to change something or whether your just panicking because theirs underlying issues that need to be addressed and you need to sort them out.
Dont get caught up in the Bullshit illusion that your seeing ATM.
Course your not going to be stuck in this forever if it's not right for you, but until you rationally Map out alternatives that get your needs met, only then you can move in that direction.
Sounds like your lonely as well.
You might have to start looking in other areas to get this abated, feeling alone and disconnected is fuking horrible!!
I rekon you need to join something to combat the negative shit your experiencing in you job, in the interm, until you can make plans?
Yeah, a change of plans is in order. I also have that "psychological profile" you're talking about, sabotage history. I'm also doing this for my resume, so that I'll be 27 and someone who has spent more than 6 months at a job. The people who end up fucking their lives up all have spotty fucking employment records. It sucks because the reason people have spotty employment records and eventually turn to crime is that work everywhere is full of gigantic faggots who simply can't understand why someone might not want to see them ever, let alone every day. Yeah, pretty lonely. I am 100% alone, and I made it that way because people simply give me too much of a headache. I'm disenfranchized to the point that I don't even want to get better mentally; I just want to escape. I want what every other asshole in this filthy fucking country wants: enough money to be able to close the door on everything I see.
@ captainballs: Dude, it is somehow astonishing and frightening how much your story and your thoughts match mine. Just had to get that out....
Regards from Austria
Regards from Austria