From Methamphetamine to Lydia

[drug_wench]

Angry, confused and in terrible pain
Coming down finally - never again
Can I put poison into my body
Methamphetamine's more than a hobby
When you're an addict - I've realised that now
I'm hurting because of my damned loss of power
I want to run out of here, out of detox
Jump off a cliff and lie dead on the rocks
The pipe's in my blood and the pipe's in my head
It follows me round till I wish I was dead
I know what I'd do now if I was at home
I'd wait for the chance to be left all alone
I'd root through the rubbish and pull out the bowl
Then call up the dealer and order a whole
Maybe I'd head for the needle exchange
Celebrate freedom and load up a vein
But that's why I'm here and it's here that I'll stay
Crystal and I have departed today
My nights are like hell - I wake up and sweat
And I feel a deep woeful sense of regret
That that last quarter gram I smoked wasn't a high
I've learned about tolerance so I know why!
Why is my mind always on crystal meth?
It's only the means to a horrible death
One part of me wants to pull out the knife
The other says 'hey, now you CAN get a life'
Other than smoking or shooting that muck
Where I never know if I'm down or I'm up
Three days clean and I don't feel like me
But I guess that's because I'd just become 'P'
Before I met 'P' I was once someone else
God, give me the courage to live with myself

 

[New]

Wow...I could feel the swing between meth and life...it chilled me to my core.

 

[Triforce]

great poem, Lydia.

 

[drug_wench]

thanks guys
that poem has bn chosen to go in a newspaper, by a lady who volunteers to help P addicts (P standing for Pure meth btw)
they also want to interview me
im a little nervous but i want to get my poetry out there one way or another - my dream is to get it all published in a book called 'Flying High Again'

 

[doofqueen]

wow that was so intense!

 

[colicolo]

crawling through all your work, you are vastly talented. another fab write

 

[drug_wench]

thanks, that means a lot to me!