As some of you may know, my best friend Dylan Blair Breternitz was shot on Christmas of 2011, he died a day later. It sucks losing the best friend you have ever had, to put it lightly.. but all you can do is honor him and move along with your life. after he passed i was in a very bad place. i was already strung out on dope and depressed. and when he died it made it worse. i spiraled around the drain for a while, barely hanging on. Having to pay the dope man every day to stay "well". if i couldnt come up with the $ i would break down, and cry, because the withdrawals were that bad.. soon i would be throwing up constantly, and even throwing up and shitting at the same time. It At this point in my heroin career, i was using so i would not get sick. at first it was for that high, and i still did enjoy getting high, but the main reason i used was so i wouldnt get deathly ill.
But, I could only take so much abuse. On May 22 of 2012, i finally was intaked into the methadone maintenance program. at this point, i was at my wits end. i had tried to quit countless times, had However, the methadone worked like a charm! Now im not blowing all my $ on dope, as a matter of fact, i have only used once since ive been on the program, which is good for me . also i am getting my health and my self esteem back, as well as my self respect. so things are going very well now. i still have my hardships, but nothing like the hell i endured.
all the while, the void from my friend's death is still gaping. anyways, i was on facebook yesterday, and i visited his page to look at his p ictures and reminisce. and i had forgotten his birthday had passed, it is on july 2. so i post on his wall, wishing my brother a happy belated birthday, and that i alwaays love him. i thought that it was kind of silly, because, hell, who's gonna read it? certainly not Dylan, right? Thats what you would think....
But today he sent me a message from beyond. I am certain of it, convinced. right after i wished him a happy birthday, a red rose grew on my rose bush. this may seem insignificant, but this bush's roses are always purple. its never been red once, save for now. Also, the rose bush is significant. Dylan used to live at my house, in the guest house. the bush is right by the guest house, and right by where we always hung out. Also, there was a marijuana plant growing that Dylan had planted. We would water it and take care of it, and have a chuckle about it since it was in plain sight, and growing to be quite the strapping marijuana plant. eventually i had to get rid of it, when the swat team pulled up to my house and i just about shit my pants. i ran out there, tore it out of the ground, and buried it. the end of the plant.
Anyways, that red rose has Dylan's name on it. I know its him. the only red rose ever, right after his birthday, on his favorite rose bush. it makes me happy and relieved to know hes there, that there is life after death.
But, I could only take so much abuse. On May 22 of 2012, i finally was intaked into the methadone maintenance program. at this point, i was at my wits end. i had tried to quit countless times, had However, the methadone worked like a charm! Now im not blowing all my $ on dope, as a matter of fact, i have only used once since ive been on the program, which is good for me . also i am getting my health and my self esteem back, as well as my self respect. so things are going very well now. i still have my hardships, but nothing like the hell i endured.
all the while, the void from my friend's death is still gaping. anyways, i was on facebook yesterday, and i visited his page to look at his p ictures and reminisce. and i had forgotten his birthday had passed, it is on july 2. so i post on his wall, wishing my brother a happy belated birthday, and that i alwaays love him. i thought that it was kind of silly, because, hell, who's gonna read it? certainly not Dylan, right? Thats what you would think....
But today he sent me a message from beyond. I am certain of it, convinced. right after i wished him a happy birthday, a red rose grew on my rose bush. this may seem insignificant, but this bush's roses are always purple. its never been red once, save for now. Also, the rose bush is significant. Dylan used to live at my house, in the guest house. the bush is right by the guest house, and right by where we always hung out. Also, there was a marijuana plant growing that Dylan had planted. We would water it and take care of it, and have a chuckle about it since it was in plain sight, and growing to be quite the strapping marijuana plant. eventually i had to get rid of it, when the swat team pulled up to my house and i just about shit my pants. i ran out there, tore it out of the ground, and buried it. the end of the plant.
Anyways, that red rose has Dylan's name on it. I know its him. the only red rose ever, right after his birthday, on his favorite rose bush. it makes me happy and relieved to know hes there, that there is life after death.
