Help!
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Hello bluelighters,
it's me LifeIsStrange - standing and still fighting.
What I found out for now:
Diclaz are the worst - will work on 4mg but that fucking metabolites makes you addicted as hell, after a specific time.
Without the metabolites it would be a proper way.
Have tried the it the last 3 days again but, it will only work for 6-8 hours - than get a little tiredness, after that - WD back.
After I lowered again and again my dosage as described in my first post before - it was my life what fucks me again. So to reduce the stress level and to to have a sleep - I began (HOW DUMB!!!) to drink a little amount of beer again. But it raised quickly to a level that was alerting me. Main problem was in that days that I had pure Ethanol 80% too and think that I could taper. Used a calculator plus a little plastic cap that can hold 5ml...
... but if you drunk you will be more thirsty - so clear what happened - I drank always more. Gabba rebound and addicted again to alcohol. I have to stop that shit. Because I think will loose my life complete if I walk that way.
Pyrazolam:
Now about 2 hours ago got WD from alcohol again. Which makes me going nuts. You must know that my Autonomic nervous system is very senstive. I tend go to have sweaty hands, feets and my blood pressure gets in condition yellow. To much pressure DIA. (Buyed even a device to check that). So I popped 4mg of Pyrazolam, because I heard in high doses it will be sedatating and you can pass out. What I am trying to do. Because I think you can better kick a drug when you are able to sleep.
But as you can see I am up again. Will try this again in a couple of hours.
Help me please!
I can not go to a doctor. And I have to do so much paperwork, throwing out things from my flat or selling it - because I will move as fast as possible away from here. Next week I must go to the judge, because my medical care system sued my even they got paid. Makes things not better. Especially I do not know the exact time because I do not know where the papers are atm.
So what to do? Must be ready with many things on Monday. Lot of calls - months ends - loans, etc.
Stick on alcohol - with I can control best if only a specific amount is available say: 6 beers (0,5) or take that fucking Dicalaz (which I do not trust any more, because I don't know how long it take to be addicted again (5, 10, 15) days? How long tapering takes.
What a mess...
Even tried a combination of today with 0,3l beer before a big meal and after that the rest 0,7l but horrible after I did this symtoms came back so quickly. So experiment fail.
What next have here a good ammount of Diclaz and Pyraz left, 3x Clonazolam, 2x Flubromazolam, 3x Flubromazepam (Not good - onset takes too long and duration 1-2 days - no way!), DPH, Valarian Root, and a few mg of Amitriptylin floating somewhere arround.
Amitriptylin is a tricyclic antidepressant that forces you to sleep at the first days. But the side effects are to heavy for me. Hangover, fogginess the half day. So can not stand up. Sweating, in all not the way I wan't to go.
So what can I do best atm?