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TDS From A Journal Entry [Phenibut Withdrawal]

How was coming off the gabapentin after the switch from phenibut? I got super lucky after a long time on gabapentin, one of the lucky few who didn't really withdraw (beyond a hangover for a day that was sort of like alcohol).
 
I had considered asking the doc for some gabapentin but I was too terrified lol. Fuckkk me.

Day 12 was really bad. I'm not sure if some of it was rebound anxiety from coming off klonipin or what. Work was a 12 hour anxiety attack. No idea how I made it through it. I wanted to die. I came home and went directly to sleep after my shift.

Day 13 I woke up expecting more of the same, and so I was very nervous. I was dreading work to the point that I vomited before I went to catch my bus.

And then I got there and everything was fine... I felt fine. Weird! I never know what to expect day-to-day at this point. I guess also, it's psychologically difficult for me to relinquish the illusion I had of control that modifying my moods with chemicals gave me. I feel naked here, lol.

Day 14 today. Got a few days off to relax. Feeling decent so far. Two weeks! What a wild fucking ride it's been, friends. It is time for me to step back from using substances, at least for a little while. I need to find a new place to live and try to get my finances back in order. I almost put myself into bankruptcy with this Phenibut thing. Not because it is super expensive, but because I needed it so often and I so often had to have it shipped overnight.

At one point I was ordering it so frequently that Customs Canada tried to make me apply for an import permit (as if I was ordering for commercial purposes).

Nope. They were all for me.

But that was then. And on we go. It is Day 14 and I am happy to say the anhedonia has returned to baseline (which is to say, I still have a bit). The anxiety is sporadic and I never know when it will creep up on me. I will let you know how it goes in the days going forward.

Thanks again guys for taking the time to read and reply to my bullshit.
 
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That's great news! Yeah, expect anxiety to come in waves for a little while, but those waves should become fewer and farther between until the process is finished. Keep up the good work, you're doing great!
 
Quick Update: It's day. uh, 16.

Feeling like shit, to be honest. I think a lot of it is due to external factors in my life, but I also suspect I might have PAWS. Feeling pretty alone and prone to panic attacks and a whole lot of general anxiety.

I started this weird, self-help book for co-concurrent anxiety/depression that uses DBT methods. It's been fairly interesting so far; I'll try to stick with it. I was tempted to ask my doctor for benzos today but refrained. Work should be interesting tomorrow, hopefully I don't freak out like I did last week. I'm gonna do some research on PAWS because I have still not yet returned to baseline.

Hope everyone is doing well :)
 
OneEyedRonnie said:
Quick Update: It's day. uh, 16.

Feeling like shit, to be honest. I think a lot of it is due to external factors in my life, but I also suspect I might have PAWS. Feeling pretty alone and prone to panic attacks and a whole lot of general anxiety.

I started this weird, self-help book for co-concurrent anxiety/depression that uses DBT methods. It's been fairly interesting so far; I'll try to stick with it. I was tempted to ask my doctor for benzos today but refrained. Work should be interesting tomorrow, hopefully I don't freak out like I did last week. I'm gonna do some research on PAWS because I have still not yet returned to baseline.

Hope everyone is doing well :)
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Wow glad to hear you made it to the other side. The good will come with the bad. What you're feeling now is just life. The trick is to start filling life with things you enjoy doing. You unfortunately can't just stop getting high and expect to feel high. If you stop getting high you will feel blah. As I said earlier, now the real hard part begins
 
You're so right. It's been a hell of a road. Today is day 18 and it's been the best day since Labour Day. Feeling pretty good. Was able to use some of tools I learned in that workbook to lessen feelings of anxiety and it made me feel pretty good.

I also had an epiphany! I'm afraid of my own feelings. Terrified of them. I can't believe I never picked up on it before the age of 32. It's really useful knowledge lol.

Working 60 hours this week so I'll keep this short. Hope all is well with everybody else. Thanks so much for the support and comments guys.
 
I been there man. I used up to 23 grams a day for a couple of months and the withdrawal was a harsh one. I could feel the anxious energy build up in the top of the skull. My withdrawal took around 2 weeks to get better. Unlike the high dose benzo/pregabalin/baclofen withdrawal I am going through now which takes forever to get better. (Yes I took a lot of different GABAergics but I think the benzos messed me up the most)

Maybe you can take a look at fasoracetam to start upregulating those GABAB receptors. There are some people that have success with it and had they had a feeling of a shortened duration of phenibut PAWS.
 
^^ Thanks Napdmd! I hope your withdrawal is getting better; how are you making out? I had thought about using nootropics to try to up-regulate my GABAB but I decided against it in the end. I really can't afford them just now until I find a new spot to live.

Today is day 29 and I have pretty much returned to baseline. It's been a tough ride but I finally feel like things are getting back to normal. The only problem I have now is, I get really itchy! Ah well, it could be worse eh? Maybe now I can try to move my life forward a little bit. It kind of feels like waking up from a nightmare; there is relief, but the shadow of what I have just gone through lingers in the background. Lesson learned, hopefully!

Anyway, I wanted to thank you guys again for your advice/support/comments. This thread really helped me through the worst of it and is a big part of my recovery. Hope everyone is well!
 
OneEyedRonnie said:
^^ Thanks Napdmd! I hope your withdrawal is getting better; how are you making out? I had thought about using nootropics to try to up-regulate my GABAB but I decided against it in the end. I really can't afford them just now until I find a new spot to live.

Today is day 29 and I have pretty much returned to baseline. It's been a tough ride but I finally feel like things are getting back to normal. The only problem I have now is, I get really itchy! Ah well, it could be worse eh? Maybe now I can try to move my life forward a little bit. It kind of feels like waking up from a nightmare; there is relief, but the shadow of what I have just gone through lingers in the background. Lesson learned, hopefully!

Anyway, I wanted to thank you guys again for your advice/support/comments. This thread really helped me through the worst of it and is a big part of my recovery. Hope everyone is well!
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Great to hear how positive you are feeling (despite the itchiness!;)). Writing things down is a great way to move yourself forward and I give you a lot of credit for employing that strategy. It might be worth considering to keep up the habit of journaling as you continue with your life.<3
 
Well done OneeyedRonnie! I love reading success stories in the dark side, it's always an inspiration. I check this forum many times a day to remind me of why I need to stay on the straight and narrow. I think I've nearly made 4 months opiate free, and a few years benzo free. I know I got to stay vigilant forever though.
 
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