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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

From 105 mg of methadone to cold turkey

ozzmosis said:
Has anyone ever lost everyone they knew to addiction meaning as soon as your clean they want nothing to do with you? I mean what the?
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Well I know that I'm pretty miserable during WD and my emotions tend to be overly sensitive, so it could be that you're misinterpreting something. Also it's maybe because you've most likely been different these last 6 or 7 weeks since you've been WDing for so long. Just feeling miserable all the time, and not sleeping, will pretty much make anyone depressed and grouchy.

You don't come across grouchy on here, but you do sound like you're feeling down (which is expected for what you've been through) and sometimes people can pick up on that and they'll try to avoid any negativity. I know I generally am not social and am untalkative when WDing.

Whatever the case is I would assume it's only temporary. Once you're feeling better and are closer to 100% your mood, attitude, outlook, etc. will definitely improve and it'll be better for any relationships.


BTW, you've seriously been kicking ass. I definitely would not have been able to go to work, much less ride my bike in the cold there! That sounds painful just thinking about it! I would think things will be looking up in the next few weeks. Your body has been going through some big changes, jumping off from 105mg of methadone is no joke, especially since you've been on it so long. Keep it up! :)
 
It's been so hard to keep at this. There's times I wanna say screw it but my son needs his father and I know that so I'm having patience with it and I'll just stay away from narcotics and try to live my life clean.
 
Well on day 63 and it's getting better in ways but I'm wondering if I'm experiencing paws or not. I may educate myself unless someone can share about paws and if they've been where I am. Its like I just don't wanna smile no matter how hard I try. So tired of it
 
some inexpensive natural supplements that helped me, and nobody else seem to mention here, are mucuna pruriens and celastrus paniculatus.
they are worth trying in my opinion, specially the mucuna pruriens, aka velvet beans. I believe most people prefer the whole bean over the extracts.
Mucuna works mainly by increasing dopamine levels, which will make you feel with more energy, joy, enthusiasm and motivation... all of those things go out of the window when withdrawing starts, so it make sense to increase the neurotransmitter which promotes those states of mind
 
Congrats so far, you have been doing amazing job. You may not feel like it but not many people make it this far especially CT. Take pride what you have accomplished already and just push though the rest. Youll make it.
 
ozzmosis said:
I have no doubt I can do this cause for my son I'll do anything including talks about drugs I never had before. I wasn't educated in the right ways about what I started. At the time I was just a kid with no parents though. Cops found my mom dead and I found my dad. I have so much hate and Ill will and I pray I can save me from myself one day. These thoughts started when I quit. Thank you for your inspiration. Its good to have confirmation of what others have done in the name of being clean.
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Ozz, I know that people say that no one ever gets clean for anyone else but I do think that is up for debate when it comes to parents and children. I have see a lot of people get through the hardest times in recovery motivated to be there for their kids. I have a friend that used to carry his favorite picture of his toddler son in his pocket and every time he wanted a drink he would pull it out and whisper, "Ok, buddy." He said that "reset"--the picture and the little mantra-- was enough to pull him through the nano-second where he would normally cave in.

You are the hero that is going to break the chain that often gets passed from one generation to the next. Your parents suffered and passed that suffering on to you--not because they were bad parents or wanted to hurt you but because they were broken themselves from their own pasts. You are taking the chain and breaking it and you are doing it not only for your own survival but for your son. I see that as nothing less than heroic. Get support wherever you can--from counseling to support groups. Don't be ashamed of your past or your present. You have more reason to hold your head up high than many people that have never done a drug in their lives.

much admiration,

herby
 
You can do this. A day at a time. Tool are a great band. Listen to Lateralus album. Schism, 46 and 2 songs are quite profound, great vids on youtube.

Dealing with our demons is very, very tough. It takes time. It is natural to be up and down and all over the place. Give yourself a break and recognise just how far you've come already.
 
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