You walk through the door after another day of madness and stupidity to find John sitting on your couch smoking and watching TV.
Hey hey, John boy.
Hey Syd, long time huh?
You make your way over to him. As he stands you two embrace like the old friends you are. With your arms around him you can feel the sickness all over him. There is almost nothing left. His nose is running, and he is thinner still than the last time you two met.
You look good man, you lie.
Yeah, you too.
Where’s Gale?
In the back I think. She doesn’t care for me much, huh?
What’s not to like?
You both smile and as you turn off the TV, you make your way to the kitchen for a well deserved drink.
You want a drink?
Na, my stomach is kinda fucked.
I take it this isn’t a social call, you ask, as you pour yourself a whiskey and soda.
He sighs. That sigh that reveals all the frustration and hopelessness of being a junkie. All the broken promises, all the, I’ll pay you backs, all the, this is the last times. The sigh of all the junkies before and after him. Hearing that sigh makes you want to throw him out, and leave with him at the same time.
Fucking Jenny kicked me out again. I’m pretty sure it’s for good this time.
Where ya been staying?
Here and there. My car mostly.
You nod your head and toss your drink in two big gulps.
When did you last fix?
Couple of hours ago. I’m still holding, but not enough to get me through the night.
I can’t spare much Johnny.
Fuck, I know. I’m sorry I’m here Syd. I know you got Gale now, and you’re sober for the most part, and the last thing you need is an old school fucking junkie hitting you up. I didn’t know where else to go.
You don’t say anything as you make your way to the back. Gale is sitting on the bed dressed in one of your shirts and smoking.
Is that asshole still here?
You don’t answer her as you go for the shoebox filled with what little cash you’ve managed to hide away. You pull out a hundred and slide the shoebox back under the bed. You start to walk out, but change your mind and pull another hundred from the shoebox. It has taken you months of working shit jobs to save this little bit of cash. John boy can blow it in hours.
You’re not going to give him any money are you?
Shut up Gale.
Walking back to the front of the house you hand him the money. His eyes already wrapped in the tears that will soon spill over, you know exactly what he will say next. More apologies and promises that won’t be kept.
This is too generous Syd. I’m gonna…
Don’t.
He drops his head and again you don’t know whether to throw him out or run to Jimmy the Nat with him.
Jimmy getting good shit these days?
Not bad yeah. He’s been asking about you.
I’ll bet he has. I was a pretty loyal customer. Look, I’d offer to let you stay, but I can’t have you fixing in front of me, too much temptation.
Oh hey, I know. I wasn’t gonna…
Why don’t you stay for dinner man. You look like you could use a decent meal.
I should probably get going. I was lying about holding. It’s been about six hours since the last one. You know how it is.
I figured as much. You nose gave you away.
The two of you stand looking at one another, neither of you knowing what to say. The space between you growing larger and larger.
Hey you remember that time we rolled that douche outside The Bear on Board St.
Yeah, I remember.
What was a kid like that doing with that kind of cash?
I don’t think we’ll ever know.
Wiping his nose again, standing by the door, eyes still moist he says, I don’t know anyone else who would do this kind of thing for a loser like me. I don’t even know how to begin to thank you. I just…
Save it Johnny. I’ve been there, remember.
Yeah. I’m gonna give kicking a shot again soon. Right now things are just so fucked up.
I’m not judging you. I’m your friend, you know that.
Yeah, I know. Say how is the writing going.
Well you know what they say, if a thousand monkeys typed for a thousand years…
John walks over and puts his arms around you in an awkward embrace. The sickness is all over him.
You’re the only one left who will even talk to me, he says
You don’t know what to say to this, so you just put your arms around his stick like body and tell him it’s all going to work out. One way or another it always does. As the two of you part, he wipes his eyes and you tell him to take care of himself.
Walking back to the kitchen to fix yourself another whiskey, Gale is standing there.
I can’t believe you gave that asshole two hundred dollars. You know what he is going to do with it.
Do you have a fucking job? Is this your place? Do you want to make this about our shit? John is my friend Gale. I owe him a hell of a lot more than money.
She walks out in a huff, and you sit and light one of John Boy’s cigarettes that he left behind, thinking of how nice it is to still have a good friend.
