Mental Health Friends Dad is Hindering Friends Efforts to Get Sober

[sharpmetalmulisha]

Me, my friend/roommate, and his father are all meth addicts. Me and my friend started using a few years ago and along the way his dad found out, tried it, liked it, and is also addicted to it. Me and my friend have reached that point where we are sick of this lifestyle and all the bullshit that comes with it. We are tired of isolating ourselves from the world and having nothing to show for our lives. We are sick of our anxiety and being afraid to interact in public because we are always high. My friend and I use meth intravenously while his father smokes it. It saddens me to see what the crystal has done to his family. They used to be so close and their home had that warm family feel, but now it feels cold and hallow, there is a lot of negative energy. My friends mom obviously knows we use, but she doesn't say anything and his dad thinks its still a secret. My friends parents are franchise owners of a 7-11, his mom manages it and his dad sits in the car port and smokes dope all day. Me and my friend also work at the 7-11. I live here because I have no place else to go and because his mom likes the positive influence I have with him and I help him stay out of trouble. As a result of using, my buddy developed OCD and is a hoarder. The house is full of useless or broken junk and it can be overwhelming. Prior to meth, his Dad was a great guy, but now you can feel the bad vibes he emits. While trying to quit, his dad carelessly smokes right in front of us or asks us to go trade his pills for dope. He doesn't realize that his wife spends all her time at work or at karate (shes an instructor for kids classes) and he doesn't see that this way of life will eventually cost him his home, his family, his freedom, and his life. Me and my buddy recently started day treatment that we attend before work in the evening. My buddy already went to rehab, but his dad never quit using, resulting in an immediate relapse when he got home. Maybe I don't have the right to say this, but I am sick of his dad. He is useless. He doesn't help with hardly anything, he doesn't care that we are trying to stop, and he doesn't want to stop or seek help or anything. What is it going to take to get his dad the help he needs? I'm not a cop caller, I can't ask my buddy's mom for help, my buddy is confused as I am, we tried getting his dad to hop on the sobriety train with us, and we want to change our lives, but his sad makes this shit impossible. I am all ears for suggestions and advice.

 

[herbavore]

Man, that is so heartbreaking. Bottom line is this: that mother deserves to know and you two deserve her support. Right now she probably doesn't want to know because she is scared her whole world will crumble. But you and I know that train is coming down the track anyway. I feel terrible for your friend. He is really caught between wanting the family he used to have and wanting to save himself. I am truly glad that you have each other. Is there any way that the wages you both earn from the 7-11 could get a shared place somewhere? Are there any sober living houses where you are? (I know these are pretty hit or miss as far as people's experiences go but still worth a try). Any way he can talk to the staff at the day program or would that get his Dad busted? (If he is a minor it would).

More than anything else I want to tell you how moved I am by you--your courage, your friendship and your clear insights. Keep going and support your friend to save himself even if his Dad will not come along. I'm sure that deep down his father feels a lot of shame but it is easier not to face it and just get high again. The longer he does it, the more he hurts his family(--especially his son), the deeper the shame, the greater the need for his DOC. That is addiction. You are a pretty remarkable guy and your friend is lucky to have you in his life.

 

[sharpmetalmulisha]

My friend and I are adults and yes there are halfway houses as well as recovery homes, but they are very expensive in the state we live in. We are considering the sober living option, but it will have to be after we complete our program. Until then, I have placed it in Gods hands to take care of for us. Thank you for your reply and advice and another special thank you for the mentions in the latter part of your response.