Friend Zone??? I cant tell.

[LANES]

A couple years ago I was hitting on a random at the bar she was not into it but her friend wouldn't leave me alone. This friend is the girl in question. At the time she had a boyfriend and i wasn't all that interested. We remained friends that would flirt, party, and basically when she wasn't with her BF and i was available we would be together. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and shes been extra touchy cuddly whatever. At the same time she tells her friends that i'm her "Best friend" but then Shes catty when other girls are around and showing interest in me. Its been 2 years of this and now shes got my attention, But we are never alone for me to test that boundary. Its awkward enough as it is without an audience. Thats the other confusing part she seems to always have a tag along and when her friends leave so does she. Is this a friend zone situation? Or are we both just being dumb and confused?

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Without a doubt you should ask her out on a date of some sort, just something casual to enable you to spend some time together. Sounds like she might be interested, and you could see where it goes from there. If it turns out that she does just see you as a really good friend then I'm sure she wont make a big deal of the fact you thought it might be nice to develop the relationship.

 

[Pagey]

The thing is, since she's only recently split up with her boyfriend, she might just be 'using' you as a sort of rebound to satisfy her need for validation. Break-ups usually leave a person feeling quite self-conscious and tend to suck out your confidence, so she might enjoy knowing that she's having some kind of effect on you and that other men are noticing her - but nothing more. Honestly if I were you I would wait it out a bit and see if she continues to act interested once more time has gone by - and if she still does then yeah, go for it. But in the meantime if you make a move now you may end up getting hurt.

 

[rangrz]

I think she wants you but is apprehensive. My fiance use to act like this. Even worse at times, like dating some 7-11 clerk but getting jelly about the girls I was seeing and stuff. Then she decided to just go for it, but part of that was me acting less ratchet and sketchy. If you're kind of sketch and whack, try toning it down and she might bite.

 

[llama112]

Ask her on a real date and go from there.

 

[Noodle]

I'm going to second rangrz advice.

 

[LANES]

Thanks for the insight So heres what i gathered from it; Take her on a date make sure im not just the rebound and dont sketch with her anymore. Hrmm weve had the odd date type setting where its been just us and they happen pretty frequently, Even when she had her boyfriend. Should i make a point of saying "Youre mine for the night, dont make any plans with any of your friends"? Cause thats the thing we start out alone but end up with a chaperone every time. And how long do i wait before im not at risk of being a rebound? If i wait any longer this sexual tension may just turn to even more awkward "friendship"

 

[Tude]

Ugh, she sounds like the type that "plays games."

Avoid.

 

[Serotonin101]

I second Tude. I've dealt with girls of this nature and it never ended well (though these girls are from 12 step programs so my "selection" is fucked lol).

 

[jade1612]

I afraid Ive done this a few times, I cant say for sure what your 'friend' is up to but it could be a few things, keeping you hanging on because she still isnt sure, or maybe she doesn't want to be in a sexual relationship with you yet but doesn't want anyone else to have you (which is game playing and extremely selfish) or she's just totally confused as to what the hell she wants! In any case it isn't a nice thing to be doing, if I'm really into somebody I would be counting the minutes until my friends left just to be alone with you! Ask her out but doesn't sound like a solid basis for a sound, trustworthy and time-worthy relationship. It's up to you friend but jeez, I knew when I did that, that I was doing the guys head right in and it isn't nice.
Oh by the way, I dont do it now, ive changed and it's a mean thing to do!

 

[LANES]

Yeah she may be playing games or being selfish but i feel like i may have started the game when we first met. Her intentions were clear and i turned her down. Now im beating myself up over it. The worst part is, i don't even know what my real intentions are. relationship? i dunno if im ready for that but i may be if shes what i think she is but until we get past this awkward tension i don't think ill know...... I think ive complicated this in my own head. This shouldn't be so damn hard but its got me right twisted.

 

[dopemaster]

Yeah I had this girl be all like "we are best friends" and get catty, well downright agressive for a skinny girl. I was fucking her occasionally. Shes actually really annoying. I dont chill with her anymore. Its so lame whenever we are in mixed company and she is around she introduces me to women I alreayd know and says outloud "dopemaster has a big cock" thats not my name but you get the point. She then kinda sabatoges relationships. Really I wish this bitch would OD as I had asked her to stay the fuck out my life. Well I have been in a situation where I was unsure if I was friend or romance interest. So I made a move. I either tried to kiss the girl or I took out my cock. If you dont get a kiss or she doesnt touch your dick well your just friends. If you are just friends I strongly advise you to get the fuck out of that girls life and not take her calls.

 

[rangrz]

If you dont get a kiss or she doesnt touch your dick well your just friends. If you are just friends I strongly advise you to get the fuck out of that girls life and not take her calls.

Jesus fuck man. Are you borderline retarded?...or possibly going full retard?

Why would want someone out of your life cause you don't hook up with them?

Do you bang all your guy friends too? If not, why is it different with girls? I hate to break it to you, but girls are the same as guys except for their specific anatomical/physiological/karyotype differences.

Having friends is never a bad thing. I've partied harder on average with my female friends than my male friends...even the ones I never hooked up with. They've been cool people who I am glad to have had in my life and added a lot to it.

Not to mention, the more friends in general you have, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the better your chances of getting laid. Particularly if you have female friends, as they make better wingmen than guys do usually.

 

[Lost Ego]

Tl:dr - in response to the thread title: If you have any suspicion that you might be getting friend zoned then distance your self from her immediately! Try to get her to see you in a sexual way. Show her that you would be a valuable mate. Let her see how many other girls want your cock right now. Still be friends with her but try to keep it flirty.

 

[dopemaster]

As for the advice I gave the guy that would let him know just where he stands. They would either hook up or he would be free to live his life. Thats the way I play it. Works for me. Sometimes its good to just put the cards on the table.

I dont really have male friends, just aquaintances. I dont have use for alot of friends just to hang out with. Id rather just date, have a fuck buddy or two, or just keep to myself most the time. So really socially its pretty much just women Im having some sort of sexual relationship with.

As for the woman I wanted out my life I did not really explain the situation. I had mentioned some things, but not really all that cleary. But basically all the shit she did after we broke up our NSA fuck buddy thing cuz it wasnt working out that way. She was kinda of bitch too and I mentioned that as well. So I mean I was like "ok we are just friends, sorry but I just dont have feelings and we were just fuck buddies and thats all I wanted and you knew what it was from the start." but she would interefere with my future relationships (Im guessing out of jealousy or just to fuck with people, shes a bitch), which I dont want to go into details, but it was schemy shit (like spreading rumors she made up). I was not mad when we broke up but made when she caused me problems for no good reason. I did not really get into all the fucked up shit she did that made me hate her, which Im guessing made my post seem confusing. I gave her as an example as to why not to get caught up with a girl playing games but failed to really elaborate.

Im a busy guy. I have alot of aquaintances so I meet people that way plus school and work bring on new women all the time I usually go up and talk to a woman if Im interested in her. It works fine for me. Im just direct. I do my thing. If i see or know an attractive woman I want, I flirt and strike up a conversation. If she is interested she will bite it if you go for it. If shes not I will just be friendly and she might introduce me to friends. I dont have use for alot of friends just to hang out with. Id rather just date, have a fuck buddy or two, or just keep to myself most the time. Im not really into friendship. I like dating and relationships with women. It might be a bit selfish in some peoples eyes, but not really, Im just kinda about centering my life around my life.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

definitely not a friend zone thing. It sounds like a friends with benefits situation as long as you man up and talk it through with her before you fuck too many times. Make sure she knows she is one of your best friends, and that you want to keep it that way, and maybe fuck her too. Just try kissing her. The worst that can happen right now is she pulls away and says you got the wrong idea.

Ask how what her feelings are towards you, pure and simple.

EASY

A couple years ago I was hitting on a random at the bar she was not into it but her friend wouldn't leave me alone. This friend is the girl in question. At the time she had a boyfriend and i wasn't all that interested. We remained friends that would flirt, party, and basically when she wasn't with her BF and i was available we would be together. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and shes been extra touchy cuddly whatever. At the same time she tells her friends that i'm her "Best friend" but then Shes catty when other girls are around and showing interest in me. Its been 2 years of this and now shes got my attention, But we are never alone for me to test that boundary. Its awkward enough as it is without an audience. Thats the other confusing part she seems to always have a tag along and when her friends leave so does she. Is this a friend zone situation? Or are we both just being dumb and confused?