Mental Health friend planning to commit suicide PLEASE HELP!

[oki1029]

I'm just going to say this: I lost a friend to suicide in October 2011. No one can be sure it was 100% intentional but we know this: he was talking about it non stop in the weeks before it happened. He was acting strangely, if someone said they liked something in his room he'd be like,"you like that? Go ahead and take it with you", even though these were items he cherished and kept on his wall since high school. He was found dead in his room, alcohol and sleeping pills in his system. To me it was clearly suicide, as this person was seasoned in taking a handful of bars and drinking like a fish.. to me if it was going to happen "accidentally" like this it would've happened a long time ago. I watched him get released from prison for 3rd strike DWI (Which is amazing he got the break he did after violating his 3rd strike parole so many times. But he was a great soul and I think the judge knew that). When he first got out he was doing great, taking and passing UA's 2x a week, going to church with his mom.. hanging with friends.. he eventually did so good they had him down to 1 UA a month. This is when he started smoking again, only the first week after his UA.. anyway he eventually gave up on God and started going downhill. The month before October he was smoking way past any safe window and kept telling everyone it was okay he had it under control. But he didn't. He was planning his death. The last time I spoke with him was not a good experience
He was drunk and beliggerant. I couldn't have a real conversation with him. Sure all the talk about suicide and I probably could've got him committed. But would it have done good? The hospital would've found drugs in his system and this would've resulted in him serving the full 10 years. The point of all of this is you can only do so much. If someone is dead set on killing themself they will eventually find a way to do it. It sucks and you can talk to them and pray his eyes open to the big picture but anything short of tying them up usually doesn't do alot of good. If you really want to reach your friend sit down with him and try to talk. Remind him that while he may think life is hopeless, to take your own is selfish: it results in your family grieving for you, your friends hell people he didn't even know will grieve and be left with anger and the question "why?". If you're in the U.S. it should be fairly easy to get someone committed at least a few days if he has been talking and planning it. I almost wish I could go back and save my friend. 26 is too young to go, and maybe he would've gone back to prison but he'd be alive. I should've taken him more seriously. Now there is nothing I can do. If you care about your friend you will spend every minute with him until you feel you've gotten through. While this is difficult it is not impossible. Remind him of my friend's situation who was facing a lengthy prison stay and even he had hope. Is it really that bad for him? At least he has his mind and probably good status with the law. Find out and keep trying. Don't make the same mistake I did. By the time this happened to my friend I was in rehab in a different city. If you can still talk to him you can save him. Do not give up.

 

[Artificial Emotion]

I wouldn't worry because your friend almost certainly won't commit suicide. Why? For the simple reason that truly suicidal people don't go round telling people they're going to kill themselves so they can be 'saved'. They just do it. That said, your friend probably needs help because that sort of behavior is NOT normal. He may be manipulative or it might be a cry for help. Either way he needs to see a shrink. The only problem with being the concerned friend is that in some cases it can encourage this maladaptive and attention seeking behavior (attention seeking in that he wants someone to see how bad he feels emotionally). What I mean is be there for him but try and not make his suicidal gestures the focus of your time with him because he needs to learn how to express himself without scaring everyone by making empty threats.

I must admit my opinions are slanted because I am biased after my own experiences with feeling suicidal in the past.

 

[ad lib]

Since he told you his plan, IME it sounds like a cry for help- he wants you to help in.

When I attempted a few months ago, I didn't let anyone in on my plan. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to hear anyone saying "don't do it" because I already made up my mind. I was hell bent on dying and no one was going to stop me. Obviously I survived.

How did s/he tell you about their plan? If you have it in writing, you can get your friend 51-50'ed. Even if you don't have it in writing I'm pretty sure you're able to have that done. I had to do it to one of my friends. It wasn't me being a bitch or anything; it was me genuinely caring for him and not wanting to see him go.

Was he angry at me? Absolutely. He didn't speak to me for a few days after but that was fine because at least I knew he was ok after getting treatment. I don't take suicide threats lightly. He wanted the attention/help and I made sure he got it.

Now more than ever you need to be there for your friend.

 

[Tude]

Don't let him be by himself! I don't mean YOU should be with him at all times, but somebody has to until he feels better.

 

[Foreigner]

Since he has a plan and has informed you he intends to carry it out, he is beyond the point of suicidal ideation and is now considered an emergency case. I would contact the police to get him admitted to a hospital asap. If someone said that to me, I would be legally bound to report it because I'm in a medical profession - so that should tell you the level of seriousness you're dealing with. Besides which, the right intervention could really help him. I realize that this could be risky because he admittedly is in possession of heroin, but you have to weigh which is more important: potential criminal charges or saving his life. He made the choice to reveal these details to you so that means some of the responsibility falls to you, his friend.

If he overdoses then nalaxone would be administered, but they would also likely give him an intracardiac injection of adrenaline straight through his chest if his heart is already failing. It's not like in the movies where death by heroin is guaranteed. The body is suppressed slowly, providing a window of time for revival, and the revival experience is NOT pleasant. But maybe it's the kind of wake up call your friend might be asking for.

The problem is that you don't know when exactly he is going to do it, which means he needs to be under medical care right now. Don't mess around. This is an emergency situation, not to be taken lightly.