Friend being eaten by heroin/money-related guilt trips

[captainballs]

My friend recently confessed to me that he started shooting dope. I'm holding life down okay with just tramadol, and even though it sucks it is better than living dollar to dollar feeding a massive pill habit. So my friend has been unemployed this whole time and I've been working. I saved so much money that when he initially asked me for 60 bucks I gave it to him and even bought a bunch of his furniture and shit so he could buy more dope. I even shot some with him about 5 times just to see what it was like and be able to empathize.

Well, it's been a month since this started and it's easy to forget that every time I'm at work he's probably sick from withdrawals. So he's always texting me, acting like I am fucking made of money. He doesn't understand, and I don't buy this disease bullshit that justifies everything. I understand addiction, but these guilt trips about me having "all this money in the bank" when I really just have enough to pay for my basic life have got to stop.

The only thing I feel bad about is that I understand how bad it is, I really do, and how rent, electricity, bills, etc can not mean shit compared to the next 24 hours. But I'm not going back there.

Do I just dump this friend and let him die? Is thee any difference between that and pretending to help to make myself feel better by showing him rehab clinics and shit, when I know that it all has almost zero long term effect? Does anything I do or don't do make any difference at all?

 

[dramatica]

What a tough subject. Its never easy to admit to yourself that a friend has been compromised forever. This has happened to a lot of us. In their minds, they are justified in taking your money. You should encourage him a little to get help even if you think it may be worthless, but you need to be honest with him and yourself: your words and good intentions will probably amount to nothing, like a fly buzzing around king kong's head. Futile.

Take care of YOURSELF first man. Life's too short not to.

I'm sorry, I totally feel your frustration.

 

[captainballs]

Fucking sucks, especially now that the only thing he probably remembers is hooking me up with shots of his dope and me not getting hooked and calling him all the time.

 

[User Name Here]

He's never going to even consider getting better if you keep enabling him =/ He will also continue to walk all over you. Don't let him guilt you into enabling his habit because what you're essentially doing is helping him kill himself. Addicts are phenomenal when it comes to guilting others into doing things for them so it can be hard to resist but it's absolutely necessary to! This doesn't mean you have to "leave them to die" though. Explain to him that you can no longer help him hurt himself BECAUSE you care for him. He will get upset because he's an addict and losing his ability to garner some money for drugs but he'll eventually realize that you're doing this in his best interest.

As far as him getting help, you can only guide him and offer consolation when he needs it. You are not responsible for his life, he is. Sometimes it takes a person hitting "rock bottom" before they genuinely want to clean up and by cutting off a money source your bringing him that much close to "bottom."

I know how hard this is and how hard it can be to say "no" to someone you love but stay strong for the both of you! I hope everything gets better soon.

 

[Opioid420z]

God how I feel for you man..... Addiction to opiates is horrible... WHy not get his ass to a methadone clinic? Methadone is really great for a person who still wants to use imo. I would get floored if I took 60mgs of meth.... Sounds like his only option, and one that may save his life. DOn't make him go threw the pain, without at least helping him find a clinic....

 

[captainballs]

I'm seriously worried about him getting busted or something. I tell him to just withdraw, that he doesn't have a job and it's okay to feel like shit for a week. Hard is what I do: always going through withdrawals from keeping my dose low on shitty pills and having to fight through it to work 12 hours a day m-f. Now all his friends are like these people who are homeless for real, looking for places to stay. Next is him, and what am I supposed to say when he wants to live here? No? He'll sell all my shit while I'm at work, and then get me hooked on smack. Man, fuck that.

I don't trust methadone clinics because I don't believe they will hook it up. Every time I've been inpatient I get sent home with nothing and you can imagine how long I stay away from opiates. What is special about a methadone clinic? How will he pay for help?