stoy420
Bluelighter
I want to be free
From the confines of morality
I want to sin and not care
For a conscience is too much to bear
Since there is no Hell
And karma decides not destiny
Shit happens almost randomly
The only consquence is guilt
I want to be able to lie to anyone
To be able to cheat each and everyone
To steal from the metaphorically blind
And to rip off those who are fools
For a time I did this to an extent
Without the burden of remorse
Weighing me down too heavily
Even from those who helped me, even from those who were friends
And then I came to a faulty conclusion
That I truly was free from the voice inside my head
That shames you when you do what you know is wrong
And that now I could survive and live by any means necissary
I thought I'd killed that inside myself
With meth and coke and salts of amphetamines
And I was glad and thankful
For my addiction that chained me and broken those shackles
But tonight I found out I was wrong
And that to do what I wished to do
Which I'm still too weak to avoid
Would weigh me down like cement shoes
I am now trapped between two inevitabilities
Of what I will do to keep up my vices
And the regret which will in turn follow
Neither are dissolved
I am not free
At least for now
Hopefully that annoying emotion
Will be fried by chemical toxicity
From the confines of morality
I want to sin and not care
For a conscience is too much to bear
Since there is no Hell
And karma decides not destiny
Shit happens almost randomly
The only consquence is guilt
I want to be able to lie to anyone
To be able to cheat each and everyone
To steal from the metaphorically blind
And to rip off those who are fools
For a time I did this to an extent
Without the burden of remorse
Weighing me down too heavily
Even from those who helped me, even from those who were friends
And then I came to a faulty conclusion
That I truly was free from the voice inside my head
That shames you when you do what you know is wrong
And that now I could survive and live by any means necissary
I thought I'd killed that inside myself
With meth and coke and salts of amphetamines
And I was glad and thankful
For my addiction that chained me and broken those shackles
But tonight I found out I was wrong
And that to do what I wished to do
Which I'm still too weak to avoid
Would weigh me down like cement shoes
I am now trapped between two inevitabilities
Of what I will do to keep up my vices
And the regret which will in turn follow
Neither are dissolved
I am not free
At least for now
Hopefully that annoying emotion
Will be fried by chemical toxicity
