Free

[onlysweetpea]

I’ve sat and listened to my friends,
My single friends,
Go off on the wonders of being single.

“I feel so free,” they say. “It’s like I never knew...”

I say the same thing, and at the time, around a dinner table, a round of beers, sitting on someone’s old creaky couch, I agree and I agree…

On my trek home, on foot, on the bus, I wonder why I so vehemently wanted so bad to belong to the ‘Free and Single’ club, why I acquiesced so quickly, bent my indecision into an answer I wasn’t too sure of, but wished to have.

For every pang of this great big ‘freedom’ I have, there is an equal great big ‘hole’, (whole?) filled with excuses and emptied, like a pitcher, spilling onto the floor, this ocean of love sitting inside of me,

Wanting to burst
Willing to overflow
Ready to empty its contents to the next person willing to accept it…

For my love is great, and abundant, and way too much for just myself.

What freedom is there, really, in binding in the dam so tight and keeping it all in?

I don’t tell my friends this, though, because I think this ‘freedom’ is what helps them sleep at night. And me?

I don’t sleep.

I just dream.

 

[frostyangel]

I remember about a year ago sitting in the bar.. and I became so damn unhappy with going out every nite.. drinking beer.. knowing everyone in the bar... and I have friends around me who I loved to hang out with..

And we all said the same thing. "oh, it's so great to be single" .. but my life became so boring that I wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry.. I use to wonder maybe those people are happy being single because their getting attention from alot of people at the same time.. but swaping everynite doesn't cut it for me...

I wanted someone to hold..
someone to call my own..
so I knew when friday nite..
when my girlfriends were getting
laid by some stranger they picked
up at a bar.. that I would have
a date.. with somebody who could
respect me..treat me good and
think about me...

And I didn't go to that bar
for about 7mths.. and I'll tell you
what.. the same damn people, sitting in the same damn
bar stools.. drinking the same beer, leaving the same tip..
were there.. and I think to myself.. so your happy being single?... *scratches* head...

 

[vurtomatic]

For every pang of this great big ‘freedom’ I have, there is an equal great big ‘hole’, (whole?) filled with excuses and emptied, like a pitcher, spilling onto the floor, this ocean of love sitting inside of me,

Wanting to burst
Willing to overflow
Ready to empty its contents to the next person willing to accept it…

For my love is great, and abundant, and way too much for just myself.

ah, i know that sentiment so very well... i rather love, than be loved.

 

[mr_fluffy]

*huuuuuuuuuuuugs onlysweetpea with all his might*

this was so me six months ago. and then i gave up. and i stopped looking, and giving a damn. and now my life is completely different, 'cos i remember those times, and never wish to see them again. thank you for helping me remember where i was, and for making me treasure what i have now.