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Free Love, Being Promiscuous and Safe Sex

dopemaster

dopemaster

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 10, 2013
Messages
6,376
Location
Wherever I Lay My Head
Well the title pretty much sums up my current sex life. I am by no means bragging as I am not sure this is something to be proud of.

I always practice safe sex and get tested once a year. I have remained disease-free.

I do not think I am capable of being with one woman at this time in my life.

I engage in menage a' trois from time to time. I always use protection.

I really do not want anyone's feelings to get hurt but I will continue to date until I find the right woman for me, which I hope happens as I would like to have many children when I have the means to be a good father.

If I was to have a child now I would man up and do the right thing and the child would be the number one priority in my life.

I am a Christian and I hope what I do is not a sin. I am a straight man.

One of my sexual partners is a very close friend. I really would like to know how she feels about things as she is bisexual and we have menage a' trois with her female friends and my female friends and the last thing in the world I want to do is fuck up our friendship or hurt her feelings.

She is very dear to me.

So anyways, I just wonder what other peoples thoughts are on this subject and whether or not they consider this type of thing to be a sin.

I consider it dating and see nothing wrong with it.
 
i dont buy into sins because ultimately your sense of right and wrong should come from within. i dont think of things as being sins, more negative behaviour patterns. everyone has the capacity to change their behaviour patterns if they really want to.
 
dude the only time in my sex life when I was promiscuous was when I first got turned on to stimulants for a period of 5-6 months and I always felt so sketch, just because of STD's, that's it, not morals. If you're going to follow the Bible literally, then you shouldn't have sex before marriage, but historically, that was only enforced (in Europe) on women - most fathers took their sons to brothels and the like, regardless of what the Bible states. I don't think promiscuity is logically a sin, though - God wants you to be prosperous and procreate, if you follow some Christian lines of thought - you want to bring more people into the Kingdom of God. So, your sex should eventually go to something that meaningfully contributes to the Christian community.

summary - STD's should be avoided
 
Thank you for the replies.

I see myself as simply dating until I find the appropiate woman to procreate with.

I just wanted to open a discussion on the topic as I am sure other people are interested.

Maybe not, but who knows. Its a subject of interest to me.

Also I do not follow the bible literally. I take religion with a grain or two of salt.

All the same I am very spiritual and pray at least twice a day.

Oh I forgot to mention I always practice safe sex and have remained disease-free.
 
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I have to be honest.

I very rarely practice safe sex and engage in sexual activity with partners who have multiple others frequently.

The only time i practice safe sex (I assuming you mean using a condom) is when my girlfriend(s) virtually beg me to.

Definitely wouldn't want to follow my example haha.

Look forward to learning better habits though on a positive note 8)
 
I can also be promiscuous, have multiple partners or swing, etc.

I nearly always use protection, and the few times I didn't I got really stressed out about STDs later and waiting for enough time to pass until I can get tested was torture. So keeping safe is much better for my mental health.

I don't have any guilt as I never lie or cheat so no one is getting hurt; I am an atheist so God doesn't feature. The way I see it, there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex, or food, or music, or anything else as long as you're not hurting anyone, it never feels sleazy or wrong, I don't quite understand the issues people have about these things but because I have quite a serious job I have to keep this aspect of my life private. My friends know what I'm like, though!

The main difference between you and me, OP, is that I don't consider the men I've been intimate with in this way "no good enough" for relationships, and have had a marriage and several LTR with people I met though one-night stands. I have to say I can see this attitude from men from time to time ("she's good enough to fuck/have adventures with, but not good enough to date because she enjoys sex as much as I do") hypocritical and a bit infuriating and very old fashioned from people who like to call themselves liberal.

But each to their own; I wouldn't want to be with a man who doesn't see how dating a girl who is into the same kinks, is open minded and adventurous is somehow an issue, especially if she's generally a happy and sorted person. Just sounds like you have a bit of a Madonna/whore complex and a it's sure recipe for cheating once you realise you married a girl who you're sexually incompatible with and can't be 100% yourself with... these parts of us (if you're kinky) don't go away ime.
 
^
Well I am not in a relationship and have not ruled out any of my partners.

I just would like to continue to date for lack of better words. This is just to clarify.

Looks are not everything but they do matter. I do not want to rule out anyone as I am seeking my soul mate or the next best thing.

I am not dishonest. I do not cheat anymore. I refuse to do anything I find immoral or unethical.

I hope that clarifies things a bit.
 
Well that's good, it just sounded like you said you were sleeping with these women but wouldn't date them; sorry if I misunderstood.

I see no problem with your lifestyle choices, although if you are worried about your close female friend catching feelings for you, and if you don't feel the same towards her I would seriously sit her down and talk it through. It's really important to be clear re expectations, a lot of people get attached after sleeping and swinging with the same person for a while because these are intimate and intense experiences you are sharing. So better to talk it through and maybe find a different partner in crime if it could complicate your friendship. Ask yourself: if you met a girl now and you became girlfriend and boyfriend, how would your female friend feel about this?

Otherwise, maybe read this:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Ethical-Slut-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379

And keep having wild, ethical, safe fun ;)
 
I don't believe in god, but IF he existed, why would he give us bodies capable of so much pleasure and then make taking that pleasure a sin? It makes no sense.

If don't believe in sin, but I do believe in right and wrong. Hurting someone is wrong. Having sex under false pretenses, pretending you want more just to get laid - that's wrong. But consensual sex between one or more people? How on earth would that be wrong? If it's not wrong to hang out with a few friends and all give eachother back rubs, why would it be wrong to hang out with a few friends and have sex? It's suddenly wrong because it's your genitals and not your back? If you think about it, how does that make ANY sense at all? A certain part of our body is "dirty"? Or "so holy it can only be touched by someone you love"? If you look at it critically it just collapses into ridiculousness.

It's wrong to hurt people. It's not wrong to have sex with whomever you want, however you want, as much as you want. As long as it's all consensual, you are beating yourself up and guilt tripping yourself for NOTHING.
 
Well my only concern is hurting someone's feelings.

I am talking to several women who I feel I would be capable of monogamy with and well those are the only ones I would date.

I do not care about a woman's sexual history, only her current sexual habits. Honesty is required.

I really do want to have kids but only with the right woman.

I am not going to be like my father and have many kids with several women and treat all my kids like shit.
 
So yeah an update on my issue.

I spoke with the woman and I can fuck any woman I want and it won't fuck up our friendship.

Kinda brought up the issue post-sex....
 
dopemaster said:
I always practice safe sex and get tested once a year. I have remained disease-free.
Click to expand...

You need to be getting tested each time you have a new partner. That may be more than once a year. If you get tested in January, you have sex with someone in February and you get an STI from them, and then have sex with a different person in March and give them the STI.... that's terrible!

dopemaster said:
I am a Christian and I hope what I do is not a sin. I am a straight man.
Click to expand...

Yes, what you do is a sin in Christianity. For Christians, sex before marriage is WRONG. Also, religious people are usually anti-gay people and you are encouraging two women to be lesbians/bisexual if you're having threesomes with them.
If you actually want to be Christian, you should stop doing that. It is very much a sin. Also isn't birth control not allowed as well?? You clearly don't know much about your own religion!

That being said, I'm not religious at all and I think it's ridiculous that anyone would be against having sex before marriage or against people being gay.

But the whole religious thing... that may be more for P&S: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/41-Philosophy-and-Spirituality
 
As long as everyone is on the same page, and understands and agrees, then I think you're ok.

I had an open relationship with one of my close friends in HS. He always had girlfriends but he'd come to me for sex. I didn't see any problem because I was lonely and I liked the attention. At one of our reunions, he actually apologized for taking advantage of me.
 
h3lp said:
I have to be honest.

I very rarely practice safe sex and engage in sexual activity with partners who have multiple others frequently.

The only time i practice safe sex (I assuming you mean using a condom) is when my girlfriend(s) virtually beg me to.

Definitely wouldn't want to follow my example haha.

Look forward to learning better habits though on a positive note 8)
Click to expand...

Wow, that's pretty reckless, especially given the current statistics that surround std's. Do you ever get tested? You're not only putting your life in danger but also the possibility of infecting a child who did not ask to be conceived. I really hope that you not only learn better habits but practice then.




To the Op: If you are happy, healthy, and safe then keep having fun. It's no one's business of what happens in your bedroom except for you. You are not spreading disease and you're safe, if anyone judges you then that is there problem.

I have always wondered if humans are truly happy being monogamous or if they do so in trying to fit a social mold.
 
...good read lola.

It is a female perspective, but still applies to males in a lot of ways.
 
I'll be quite honest, I've been pretty promiscuous and rarely used protection in the past....

I DID get a STD. Twice. Once, no protection. The other time, even though we used protection I got something. Luckily, both times it was an easily curable STD. Antibiotics, and it's gone.

But that really woke me up. Now I'm sort of afraid to hook up with people, but I still do. Why? Because it feels good. And because I can't spend my whole life being afraid. But I'm more cautious now. I always make people use a condom, even if I'm giving them head. For girls, I use a dental dam...sometimes.

I don't believe in Christianity so I have no input on if what you're doing is a "sin". I say just do what fucking makes you happy. But I'd definitely recommend getting tested more often than once a year.
 
i think religion tends to favour LTR when you are in a sexual relationship because whether you believe it or not, sex is a very deep spiritual act and bonds two people very closely together, you can even take on the other persons emotions/attributes to an extent because during sex you are vulnerable to the other persons energy.

also promiscuity is discouraged because the idea is that your cum is precious and by spilling your seed with someone you arent in love with truly, would be a waste because sexual fluids are what make men alert/strong/motivated. for me i would want to develop an emotional connection with someone first, then physical if there is a good connection and then i would learn how to orgasm without ejaculation. i reckon if god was around he would be down with sex for pleasure with a partner so long as you dont spill your seed a lot, because if you exhaust your sexual fluid and energy it inhibits your spiritual development

thats just my take on things and im sure lots of ppl would have problems with it
 
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