I've had a shockingly shit day today. Work has been an absolute nightmare. I've spent the day being shouted at by assholes who don't know what real problems are. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate my job and I'm stuck in such a rut with it.
I would love to work in a job where I could use my typing skills. Or help people. I'm stuck in a thankless job where assholes shout at me every day over something that isn't my fault.
I'm starting to think I'm going to have to develop my personal time so that I feel more fulfilled... because at the moment life is frustrating me and it's really fucking boring.
It would be better if I actually had a social circle. But, me being me, I don't have that. I do have a fantastic small selection of uber trustworthy people but that's only after getting burnt by a few particularly vile people over the last few years. I get antsy when I'm stuck in the house. Even more so when I'm working 12 to 8 as I come home and I'm too wired to sleep so I pace... then it's back into work... then home...
I must be getting stressed because I can't even bring myself to eat properly at the moment. I did well on Sunday although I didn't manage a whole plateful of anything. Mind you that's probably good because I did have a heavy phase of eating my feelings. I had to learn to tell myself to "put the fork down"...
I've never been a skinny girl... and I've definitely been bigger... but I just don't feel RIGHT at the moment.
In ways I'm grateful that life is ticking along quite smoothly... the only speedbumps I have are of my own making... but fucking hell I could do with some fun.
It's only Tuesday and I can already see myself in the flat this weekend with a bottle of wine painting. Although I do have a big canvas to start working on. That'll be cool.
I kind of miss being able to chat to my friends on Facebook but I couldn't handle it anymore. I found out too much bad shit on that website, I deactivated my profile and I don't know if I'll ever go back on it again. It's shit. Too much exposure to other people's drama.
I'm working three hours overtime the next two days. I want to get a tattoo done next month. I've got "True to you" on one arm and I want to get "Forevermore" on the other. They're Morrissey tribute tattoos. I got the "True to you" tattoo after seeing him play in a local town. That night was fucking incredible. I was so close to him. Right down the front. I stretched my hand out but couldn't get close enough for him to touch it. I did get one of Boz Boorer's plectrums though. It was awesome. I was dancing and I felt a ping on my boob. I looked down on the floor and there was a pink thing on the ground. I picked it up and it was a plectrum with Boz's name on it. It's my lucky charm.
I suppose I better get ready for bed. Nothing much to stay up for. The flat is nice and cozy, and I'm burning incense. I've got some instant porridge, I guess that will do for my dinner. Real food is too much hassle at the moment. Maybe I'll lose some weight. That would be nice.
I've got a Nevil Shute book to read. That'll entertain me for now.
I would love to work in a job where I could use my typing skills. Or help people. I'm stuck in a thankless job where assholes shout at me every day over something that isn't my fault.
I'm starting to think I'm going to have to develop my personal time so that I feel more fulfilled... because at the moment life is frustrating me and it's really fucking boring.
It would be better if I actually had a social circle. But, me being me, I don't have that. I do have a fantastic small selection of uber trustworthy people but that's only after getting burnt by a few particularly vile people over the last few years. I get antsy when I'm stuck in the house. Even more so when I'm working 12 to 8 as I come home and I'm too wired to sleep so I pace... then it's back into work... then home...
I must be getting stressed because I can't even bring myself to eat properly at the moment. I did well on Sunday although I didn't manage a whole plateful of anything. Mind you that's probably good because I did have a heavy phase of eating my feelings. I had to learn to tell myself to "put the fork down"...
I've never been a skinny girl... and I've definitely been bigger... but I just don't feel RIGHT at the moment.
In ways I'm grateful that life is ticking along quite smoothly... the only speedbumps I have are of my own making... but fucking hell I could do with some fun.
It's only Tuesday and I can already see myself in the flat this weekend with a bottle of wine painting. Although I do have a big canvas to start working on. That'll be cool.
I kind of miss being able to chat to my friends on Facebook but I couldn't handle it anymore. I found out too much bad shit on that website, I deactivated my profile and I don't know if I'll ever go back on it again. It's shit. Too much exposure to other people's drama.
I'm working three hours overtime the next two days. I want to get a tattoo done next month. I've got "True to you" on one arm and I want to get "Forevermore" on the other. They're Morrissey tribute tattoos. I got the "True to you" tattoo after seeing him play in a local town. That night was fucking incredible. I was so close to him. Right down the front. I stretched my hand out but couldn't get close enough for him to touch it. I did get one of Boz Boorer's plectrums though. It was awesome. I was dancing and I felt a ping on my boob. I looked down on the floor and there was a pink thing on the ground. I picked it up and it was a plectrum with Boz's name on it. It's my lucky charm.
I suppose I better get ready for bed. Nothing much to stay up for. The flat is nice and cozy, and I'm burning incense. I've got some instant porridge, I guess that will do for my dinner. Real food is too much hassle at the moment. Maybe I'll lose some weight. That would be nice.
I've got a Nevil Shute book to read. That'll entertain me for now.