So because I got blacked out, I can't really be completely sure of the whole extent of this last relapse. It's frightening, shameful and scary. I do not ever want to get that far our of control again.
The trouble is that I found a small left over stash of benzos from the relapse.
I know I should throw them away. I know it's not the risk. But today i took very low, moderate doses. I felt like it had therapeutic effects and didn't even try to really feeling intoxicated. I was able to work just fine working next to my employer. Feltreally upbeat, wasn't stressed or overwhelmed about the large workload- ended up spending 14 hours at work. He was impressed by my work and attitude.
I know this isn't something I can rely on to have a good day or even something that would be practical to do more than a few times a month if that.
So my question is, what do you personally define as a relapse? Is sobriety complete abstinence? Or are you clean if you are still taking prescription meds like opioids, benzos, and stimulants if there is a "legitimate" prescription? Is any use a relapse, or is a relapse when the use becomes problematic?
Idk just want to hear others thoughts. really don't like feeling ostrosized from anyone who drinks a beer but i also need I have my own health consernces
The trouble is that I found a small left over stash of benzos from the relapse.
I know I should throw them away. I know it's not the risk. But today i took very low, moderate doses. I felt like it had therapeutic effects and didn't even try to really feeling intoxicated. I was able to work just fine working next to my employer. Feltreally upbeat, wasn't stressed or overwhelmed about the large workload- ended up spending 14 hours at work. He was impressed by my work and attitude.
I know this isn't something I can rely on to have a good day or even something that would be practical to do more than a few times a month if that.
So my question is, what do you personally define as a relapse? Is sobriety complete abstinence? Or are you clean if you are still taking prescription meds like opioids, benzos, and stimulants if there is a "legitimate" prescription? Is any use a relapse, or is a relapse when the use becomes problematic?
Idk just want to hear others thoughts. really don't like feeling ostrosized from anyone who drinks a beer but i also need I have my own health consernces