I began using opioids in moderate dosages when I suddenly had complete access to them when I realized I took some for psi and I noticed I became a happier person. A traumatic marital crisis ruined me emotionally ando had not been happy and as nice until they came into my life. Used for about a year and a half, didn't even realize I was addicted until I went out of town and found myself at the bitter end of a nightmare withdrawal. So I taperedbut used steadily. Then my husband began having a lot of coke suddenly for whatever reason. I decided to dabble as we shared this fun and we kinda grew closer. (He never knew about the pills) Ok long story short, I got hooked, fast. I would take some without him knowing, finding stashes, doing it at work, just all the time. Then I realized in a 2 month span my nose had gone to shit. It was raw, almost a hole in left nostril. So just as I decided I would stop that shit, literally my world fell apart. My son moved out for good reasons but I can't cope with his absence, I quit my job because I was a mess emotionally and it was then I realized I had not hardly touched my pills since the coke came in. I thought, that's how I'll get off of them w/out withdrawals, because I would no longer have access to them. But my nose? I get the stupidest idea to try coke Iv. Yep. One month almost,I'm a junkie, prepare my syringes for wherever I go. Haven't worn a short sleeve in a month and if my husband saw me he would be so ashamed, like I was of him. Is there a way back? I'm up for days, recklessly pushing the limits, it's as if I have a death wish. How do I fix this, I love numbing my pain. And it's always here, free. I'm hopeless. I don't want to die like this, but I'm getting so good at it I'm afraid there is no turning back... can anyone help? Advice at least.