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Former Dealers.

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Buddy122

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2008
Messages
281
Location
South Carolina
Anyone who has been a former dealer, *snip i'll PM you the reason why we dont want that* you ever feel guilty about dealing?

Like if you sold to friends did you ever feel bad that they might get hooked or that you were taking money from them...or even if you sold to strangers, ever think about them ODing, etc.?

I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty for doing anything, I just know that at times when i was dealing I got like physical pains from feeling so bad for what I was doing...like i got consumed with feeling like a bad person, like "how did i get to this point?"...but the money was too tempting at the time.

Anyways, just curious to hear some stories/opinions/etc.
 
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i try to believe the "they'll get it from somewhere, i'm just adjusting to the market" rationale, but yeah, i made some problems worse for a lot of people i was close to.
 
i dont deal anything but within the last 6-8 months i have become addicted to oxy and other Rx opiates.
just days ago my buddy asked me if i could get him some oxy and i told him straight up i wouldnt get it for him. i could see the look in his face sayin 'what the fuck'
but i dont wanna do it. i ended up re wordin myself later and told him hey if you wanna do it i am not gonna stop you but i told him to think twice about it
cuz it is no big deal when it is only sorta available but it all starts by tryin it and if he is like me then he will try it once and maybe not even see it for a year but then as soon as i found a solid connect, it got to me pretty quick.
it has only been a few days since this happened and i know he might ask me again and the more i think about it the more i feel as if i should let him experiment and believe my mistakes dont have to happen to everyone but on the other hand if anyone of my friends had to go through what i am goin though b/c of me i would feel shittier about myself then i already do


also seein as how this issue is still goin on/ likely to come up soon if anyone has any advice, stories or input i would greatly appreciate it. if it is relevant the friend i am referring to is one of my two best friends, i have been friends with him for over 10 years and he was one of the first friends i made when i moved to texas. so needless to say he isnt just some drug aquaitance
 
Back when I was in my rave days I used to sell a lot of e pills and gthe occasonal acid. I did feel bad for a few closer friends who would buy a few pills. Then call me back a few hours later. I would actually end up saying "I'll leave you guys like 20 pills and take what you want and I will stop back tomorrow and take whatever you didn't need." Needless to say this was great because of course they did them all and then since I was good friends with them and knew everythign about them they would always pay. I diod this because I knew I would get a ton more money as it's hard to resist a bag full of drugs sitting in front of you.
 
No guilt, only 1 case where i some one had to be cut off, because his life was taking a turn for the worst

even with the logic "he can get it from some place else anyway" i still didnt want to bother with it
 
one of the ways i use to justify selling my stuff was that i would never sell anything i hadn't tried yet...that way i could 'test' it on myself first and give some good input.

also, i use to deal mephedrone to a lot of my friends and they would always beg me for my contact...i always told them i would NEVER give them my contact because i didnt want them becoming addicted to that shit like i almost did.

thanks for the responses guys...interested to hear more.
 
I've never sold or middle manned drugs. I have hooked my sister up with weed before, I had a clean conscience. I've hooked my big brother up with blow and XTC before, I did feel bad about it. He'd been doing the stuff years before I did but he had no contacts. I was worried about him dying or turning into a junkie. Nothing bad ever happened but I worried about it well in advance.
 
If your really gonna be in it you gotta believe shit is gonna happen(one day), and be with it as just part of the game and not care(or bother you). But, I couldnt be relaxed even with the cash and the drugs, I had to be way mellowed out just to chill. So I stoped.

The real motherfuckers are the ones that dont even ever do drugs and are up early in the morning ready to make that paper, every day and never heard of holidays.
 
my best friend from childhood died of an OD a few months after i showed him where to cop, instead of just sharing with him when i had dope. i know i didn't prep his fatal shot, or force him to use every day, but i sure do miss the guy. it'll be 10 years this october, RIP D.
 
no ive never pushed unwanted drugs on folk only ever supplied what was wanted, and i wouldnt sell crack, coke or smack. I quite like being the guy who has supllied highs that folk get proper high on .
EG At a rave folk will caqtch u at the end of night and there well happy with the donl or mud etc and it feels nice.
I wouldntlike to be the author of someone's mi8sery by selling stuff thats not recreational and addictive, but the k seems to be going that way.
HYPOTHETICALLY
 
I kinda feel responsible for a couple of my friends getting hooked on morphine because I had so much of it, for free. But they probably would've ended up addicts anyway... I feel kinda guilty because I made it so easy, but I also fucked myself up... so it's a tough one.
 
Its all for the money, I could care less if my customers turned ppl into junkies as they have addictive personalities anyway which is why they get milked.
 
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