evilthree
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 8, 2009
- Messages
- 213
How do you deal with being forced to get clean when you really have no interest in staying clean? I feel forced into this whole clean life. If I don't stay clean, the government threatens me with state prison time. I really hate the clean life, I hate not being high, but I especially hate myself. Getting high was my escape, my way to deal with the problems I had and how I couldn't stand myself. Now they take that from me and force me to attend cult meetings under threat of incarceration. I can't stand the mindset in this country, where people are so gung ho to lock a fellow human up and so supportive of invasive policies(urine tests, intensive programs for people who I don't even consider criminals)
While I know it is not permanent, this forced sobriety and threatening/playing with my freedom has really got me down and hating my life. I get excited at the thought of dying and not having to deal with all this. On top of incarceration, the government will also slap me with a long paper trail, meaning if I fuck up I go right back to being locked up, unless I decide to max out, in which case I'll have just wasted my youth locked up
How do you deal when you are constantly stressed, hate nearly every aspect of your life, unwillingly are forced to be clean, and cannot relate to anyone you are surrounded by? I constantly want to bash my head in because I feel I am just surrounded by people who are idiots and cannot think critically. I don't think drugs are bad, as a matter of fact I am quite a drug advocate, but most people in this society disagree, and I'm just tired of being surrounded by what I consider idiotic and wrong opinions that fuel this horrific system we live in
While I know it is not permanent, this forced sobriety and threatening/playing with my freedom has really got me down and hating my life. I get excited at the thought of dying and not having to deal with all this. On top of incarceration, the government will also slap me with a long paper trail, meaning if I fuck up I go right back to being locked up, unless I decide to max out, in which case I'll have just wasted my youth locked up
How do you deal when you are constantly stressed, hate nearly every aspect of your life, unwillingly are forced to be clean, and cannot relate to anyone you are surrounded by? I constantly want to bash my head in because I feel I am just surrounded by people who are idiots and cannot think critically. I don't think drugs are bad, as a matter of fact I am quite a drug advocate, but most people in this society disagree, and I'm just tired of being surrounded by what I consider idiotic and wrong opinions that fuel this horrific system we live in