Forced CT of 20mg Flubromazolam, 10mg Clonazolam, 10mg Etizolam Daily

[bakeryrogercow]

So my doc has me on a librium taper, 150mg a day for 2 weeks, then he's gonna see how I feel and go from there. He also put me back on seroquel for sleep, and my bipolar as he knows I stopped taking it and started self medicating with benzos in return. I'm waiting on the pharmacy to fill them but I already feel less anxiety knowing I may be sick, but seizures and sleep won't be an issue.

Also, I have shown up positive for suboxone, but been clean from sub's for almost 9 months! Does anyone know why this would happen?

This sounds great - hopefully this will get you through the worst of it. Regarding your positive UDS, Buprenorphine is notorious for false positive, and this is even documented in the literature. Have you taken gabapentin? That can cause a false positive.

 

[Stotched]

I have not taken gabapentin recently, but he filled out an as needed script for gabapentin, as he said librium is a mild benzo and i may still feel manic and have panuc attacks. Small doses of depakote (250mg) in the morning to help with seizures and my bipolar as well. He also said if I get too bad he will make a same day appointment, and to not go to the er in the morning, he's a young doc probably early 30s, so he knows more than the old fucks I was seeing in the er. I actually slept a full 8 hours last night, and could probably sleep again if I lie down.

Also, is depakote synergistic with benzos? I wouldn't say I feel benzod out, but I do feel very calm and serene after taking my first librium dose with depakote this morning. Almost as if I took some phenibut, or had a couple shots of grain alcohol. Maybe its just the mania I was self medicating with actually being medicated.

 

[cj]

What a fucking country. I don't know anything about drug tests and RC benzos. But if your not being tested or if they are not normally tested for you could order more from the net and taper like that. You can do that at least until a detox bed comes open. I can't believe how poorly you are being treated. For a doctor to get you arrested is beyond shameful. I wish I had better advice or help for you. My only other thought is to show up at a big city hospital explain your situation and see if they will help. If worst co ER to worst if you say your suicidal they have to commit you.

 

[phactor]

I have not taken gabapentin recently, but he filled out an as needed script for gabapentin, as he said librium is a mild benzo and i may still feel manic and have panuc attacks. Small doses of depakote (250mg) in the morning to help with seizures and my bipolar as well. He also said if I get too bad he will make a same day appointment, and to not go to the er in the morning, he's a young doc probably early 30s, so he knows more than the old fucks I was seeing in the er. I actually slept a full 8 hours last night, and could probably sleep again if I lie down.

Also, is depakote synergistic with benzos? I wouldn't say I feel benzod out, but I do feel very calm and serene after taking my first librium dose with depakote this morning. Almost as if I took some phenibut, or had a couple shots of grain alcohol. Maybe its just the mania I was self medicating with actually being medicated.

Do you know how many classes Doctors have to take on addiction in Med School?

Zero

Younger docs tend to be more well versed in addiction, yours seems like he is.

The best family doc that I had that dealt with my addiction actually ended up eventually getting a DUI and possession and having to go to treatment himself. He always treated me as a human being and I have to think it was because he was struggling himself.

 

[phactor]

What a fucking country. I don't know anything about drug tests and RC benzos. But if your not being tested or if they are not normally tested for you could order more from the net and taper like that. You can do that at least until a detox bed comes open. I can't believe how poorly you are being treated. For a doctor to get you arrested is beyond shameful. I wish I had better advice or help for you. My only other thought is to show up at a big city hospital explain your situation and see if they will help. If worst co ER to worst if you say your suicidal they have to commit you.

They are supposed to commit an individual at risk of seizure no matter what as well. Its malpractice to turn them away. Does that stop them? Nope.

 

[Stotched]

24 hours seizure free! I also no longer have the sensation that my skin is ripping off my body, nor can I feel my bones constantly twitching. Honestly I'm just really irritable, lethargic, and have some bad gastric pain. I'm loads better than yesterday. The conditions of my bail state I must find work or fill out an application a day. I do not think I have the energy to do either, and my counties bail admin will not budge.

Does anyone also think its skeevy that these terms apply to anyone on bail? I'm probably only going to get probation, but why they would make someone facing 5-10 years get a job, with free time their family likely bought them, instead of letting them enjoy their last taste of freedom? What a country I live in.

Is it safe to reintroduce small amounts of caffeine, just enough to bullshit some paper applications. When using high doses of benzos I'd easily consume a gram of caffeine per day. I'm thinking like a can of diet coke.

 

[cj]

24 hours seizure free! I also no longer have the sensation that my skin is ripping off my body, nor can I feel my bones constantly twitching. Honestly I'm just really irritable, lethargic, and have some bad gastric pain. I'm loads better than yesterday. The conditions of my bail state I must find work or fill out an application a day. I do not think I have the energy to do either, and my counties bail admin will not budge.

Does anyone also think its skeevy that these terms apply to anyone on bail? I'm probably only going to get probation, but why they would make someone facing 5-10 years get a job, with free time their family likely bought them, instead of letting them enjoy their last taste of freedom? What a country I live in.

Is it safe to reintroduce small amounts of caffeine, just enough to bullshit some paper applications. When using high doses of benzos I'd easily consume a gram of caffeine per day. I'm thinking like a can of diet coke.

Can you just fill out online applications? If worse comes to worse pm me and I'll fill the fucking things out for you. That's some fucking stupid bail conditions. Do you know anyone who owns a small business that will lie for you to say you work there?

 

[Stotched]

What are some things I can do in sobriety. My girlfriend left me due to sexual dysfunction I'm having during this taper. I really want to get a pint of vodka, but I know all that's gonna do it set me back on this taper,

I'm realizing how boring of a person I am sober,, and how boring and monotonous life in general is sober. I feel like I'll never feel happiness again, and I felt this way before she left me. I honestly don't care she did, she fell in love with benzo me, sober me is boron and depressing as fuck.

 

[bakeryrogercow]

What are some things I can do in sobriety. My girlfriend left me due to sexual dysfunction I'm having during this taper. I really want to get a pint of vodka, but I know all that's gonna do it set me back on this taper,

I'm realizing how boring of a person I am sober,, and how boring and monotonous life in general is sober. I feel like I'll never feel happiness again, and I felt this way before she left me. I honestly don't care she did, she fell in love with benzo me, sober me is boron and depressing as fuck.

Your girlfriend left you because of sexual dysfunction that occurred over the course of only a week? WTF? Dude, assuming that's the reason, you were better off without here. That's absurd.

 

[cj]

What are some things I can do in sobriety. My girlfriend left me due to sexual dysfunction I'm having during this taper. I really want to get a pint of vodka, but I know all that's gonna do it set me back on this taper,

I'm realizing how boring of a person I am sober,, and how boring and monotonous life in general is sober. I feel like I'll never feel happiness again, and I felt this way before she left me. I honestly don't care she did, she fell in love with benzo me, sober me is boron and depressing as fuck.

Give it some time man. Your brain is trying to achieve homeostasis right now. It's going to take a little time before you start to feel enjoyment and generalally content. Go see a movie, go bowling, play paintball, ride a roller coaster, all kinds of stuff you can do in this world man. Get out there. The worst thing you can do is sit around by yourself.

 

[modocmodoc]

Depakote's a good choice, it's actually GABA active. I am going to have to go back on massive doses to taper 14 years of clonazepam. I feel like suing the fuck out of Roche, but it's been done, class actions dismissed mysteriously, etc.

 

[modocmodoc]

24 hours seizure free! I also no longer have the sensation that my skin is ripping off my body, nor can I feel my bones constantly twitching. Honestly I'm just really irritable, lethargic, and have some bad gastric pain. I'm loads better than yesterday. The conditions of my bail state I must find work or fill out an application a day. I do not think I have the energy to do either, and my counties bail admin will not budge.

Does anyone also think its skeevy that these terms apply to anyone on bail? I'm probably only going to get probation, but why they would make someone facing 5-10 years get a job, with free time their family likely bought them, instead of letting them enjoy their last taste of freedom? What a country I live in.

Is it safe to reintroduce small amounts of caffeine, just enough to bullshit some paper applications. When using high doses of benzos I'd easily consume a gram of caffeine per day. I'm thinking like a can of diet coke..

Dude, you need to worry about that later. I've been through hell and back so many times with this shit, everything comes to a standstill. I suppose you could use indeed.com and just autoapply to random shit so it meets the requirements.. but your health and safety is the most important. What a system.

 

[Stotched]

Your girlfriend left you because of sexual dysfunction that occurred over the course of only a week? WTF? Dude, assuming that's the reason, you were better off without here. That's absurd.

Well she had never used a drug in her life. When I was on the benzos I could fuck for hours, now its like she touches it and it'd be done, everything super sensitive, and not just sexually, lights and sounds are unbearably bright and loud. And yeah, she already has a new dick to fuck. I ended up smoking a bong yesterday and my test is Wednesday so I'm prolly going back in. I am 6 feet and only weigh 130 with wet clothes, and 0% body fat, so maybe I'll get lucky. I have no coping skills other than getting high.

I also warned her I wouldn't be myself for probably at least a year (weve been together 4), but I guess sex is her drug and she realized she couldn't deal with that and my constant irritability over simple shit like not wanting to have lights on in the house because even a small light felt like I was staring into the sun.

 

[Stotched]

So my lawyer wants me to plead not guilty and counter sue the hospital for not treating me right. Anyone who has issues with the law, does that make sense? He is not pro bono, so its gonna cost me a lot to sue and I don't want to if I am gonna lose.

 

[modocmodoc]

So my lawyer wants me to plead not guilty and counter sue the hospital for not treating me right. Anyone who has issues with the law, does that make sense? He is not pro bono, so its gonna cost me a lot to sue and I don't want to if I am gonna lose.

I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to negligence and shit, but it sure sounds to me like you've got a case. Ask some other attorneys and see if any of them offer to take it pro bono.. that might give you an idea of how confident they are. I don't trust lawyers.

 

[jammin83]

Its going to be hard to prove damages unless you died or had an injury from a seizure or something.

fwiw, I ct'd 20 mg of xanax a day (was on benzos for about five years) and I was sick for about a month. It was pretty brutal but after six weeks I was sleeping on my own without any drugs. How are you feeling now?

 

[Stotched]

Its going to be hard to prove damages unless you died or had an injury from a seizure or something.

fwiw, I ct'd 20 mg of xanax a day (was on benzos for about five years) and I was sick for about a month. It was pretty brutal but after six weeks I was sleeping on my own without any drugs. How are you feeling now?

I'm feeling okay, still as "sober" as I can get on my current meds. I found out today I have hep c, and liver cirrhosis at 23 years old so that was a shock. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and take 2 librium instead of 4. Whatever happens, happens I am sick and tires of the benzos and opiates,

 

[modocmodoc]

I'm feeling okay, still as "sober" as I can get on my current meds. I found out today I have hep c, and liver cirrhosis at 23 years old so that was a shock. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and take 2 librium instead of 4. Whatever happens, happens I am sick and tires of the benzos and opiates,

Keep us posted, we're concerned.

 

[Stotched]

I ended up taking my librium as planned this morning, with gabapentin, 1600mg. However I also picked up 2 pints of vodka and chugged them within 15 minutes and feel no buzz, just a lot of anger at myself that I put myself back by doing a gabaergic drug. I can't deal with this anymore, I don't know why I continue to try to get a buzz from gabaergics when 15 years of freedom is on the line, I know it won't be in my breath when they breathylyze me tomorrow, but the personal sadness from lack of self control is taking over.

I know I'm an addict, I have hep c and cirrhosis but continue to do these things to myself. Does anyone know how far back 20 shots would take me? I went the last 2 days no sleep, and rationalized that to buy the booze, but gaba drugs stopped sedating me quite a bit ago, they just make me content.

I wish I could do activities. When I wake up in the morning I'm full of pep, but within an hour I remember my license is gone (don't like driving without it unless to get booze obviously), I'm facing felonies, I have no job, no money, my lady left me, and I had to move back in with my parents because of seizures,

I've tried aa, and na both, but as a gnostic christian, I am my own god, and cannot work their steps, and refuse to change my spirituality for na. I just don't know what to do, I'm hopeless.

 

[bakeryrogercow]

I ended up taking my librium as planned this morning, with gabapentin, 1600mg. However I also picked up 2 pints of vodka and chugged them within 15 minutes and feel no buzz, just a lot of anger at myself that I put myself back by doing a gabaergic drug. I can't deal with this anymore, I don't know why I continue to try to get a buzz from gabaergics when 15 years of freedom is on the line, I know it won't be in my breath when they breathylyze me tomorrow, but the personal sadness from lack of self control is taking over.

I know I'm an addict, I have hep c and cirrhosis but continue to do these things to myself. Does anyone know how far back 20 shots would take me? I went the last 2 days no sleep, and rationalized that to buy the booze, but gaba drugs stopped sedating me quite a bit ago, they just make me content.

I wish I could do activities. When I wake up in the morning I'm full of pep, but within an hour I remember my license is gone (don't like driving without it unless to get booze obviously), I'm facing felonies, I have no job, no money, my lady left me, and I had to move back in with my parents because of seizures,

I've tried aa, and na both, but as a gnostic christian, I am my own god, and cannot work their steps, and refuse to change my spirituality for na. I just don't know what to do, I'm hopeless.

Hey man - just to your last point, 12 step meetings aren't the only option. I currently go to 5 different meetings a week, none of which are 12 step meetings! There are options to things other than AA / NA, but you do have to look harder. Ask around at local hospitals. I attend SMART meetings (you can google them and see if there are meetings in your area). At a local hospital, I attend a men's group non 12 step recovery meeting, and on sundays a "Grad group" that is open to only people who went through detox at that hospital, and is not a 12-step format. Finally, you can go to AA/NA meetings that are speaker meetings, and just sit and listen and you don't have to participate. Sometimes it helps to hear other peoples struggles, or if you do speak it feels good. If you get pressured to get a sponsor or work the steps or whatever, just say you're there to listen and they should understand and back off. If they don't, leave the meeting. I've never had it go that far though, and I'm in your boat with the agnosticism and not being able to work the steps.