anna!
Bluelight Crew
Time is a swift mistress,
the boyfriend you had when you were far too young
who twisted and screwed up his face
and failed regardless;
Carrying on despite howls from the others
and empty beds, and doors that swing in the wind.
He's gone now, and far better should I have
picked my moment,
than to announce with a flourish the pain
and the anguish and sorrow and
love;
and all for a purpose I fear non-existent,
but I'll never know.
To have waited, and have suffered the pain
on the inside, more honourable than this
wretched mess of desire and hatred and
loathing
(not of him, but of self)
the seconds flew by me too briefly, though I
tried to recover the moment
Time had taken and swept under the doormat,
it was gone.
and Time, with her sculpted nails
and soft voice of reason, and spite,
took him with it
swiftly, and quietly, and admittedly not
without merit, but still -
she's gone with him, and time is lost;
the minutes trickle happily into days.
---------------------------------
Disillusionment, and
starry-eyed
sorrow
- who are you?
You don't want to hurt me,
but you DO
and you do it so well,
it's so rehearsed,
so conspiratorial,
so
empty
Why didn't you just tell me in the beginning?
Save me from
the pain
the agony
the ...
readjustment now that I'm without you.
Cascade
Torrent
Electric storm of thundering misery
with no tears left.
Life goes on, so much time
- "our whole lives!"
A whole life to be without you?
That's not what I need
or want.
Torn
Devastated
Lost -
hope abandonment,
though that's not what you want
but
what I want?
Wounds bleeding from hollow veins
and empty, emotionless hands
creating nought
- but predictability.
Life is the same shitty circle
it's always been.
There's a place on the circumference where
you never were.
And I'm crying on the inside
where the emptiness is.
---------------------------------
L osing all that matters even a fraction of a tiny bit, because you are weak
O r maybe because I am weak, or because it wasn't meant to be, or some cliche that's muttered completely in
V ain, and falling on deaf ears, agonising tears and a hurricane of hatred and bliss and
E ndless confusion.
---------------------------------
sigh.
I miss him.
edited because I can't spell
[ 13 February 2002: Message edited by: anna! ]
the boyfriend you had when you were far too young
who twisted and screwed up his face
and failed regardless;
Carrying on despite howls from the others
and empty beds, and doors that swing in the wind.
He's gone now, and far better should I have
picked my moment,
than to announce with a flourish the pain
and the anguish and sorrow and
love;
and all for a purpose I fear non-existent,
but I'll never know.
To have waited, and have suffered the pain
on the inside, more honourable than this
wretched mess of desire and hatred and
loathing
(not of him, but of self)
the seconds flew by me too briefly, though I
tried to recover the moment
Time had taken and swept under the doormat,
it was gone.
and Time, with her sculpted nails
and soft voice of reason, and spite,
took him with it
swiftly, and quietly, and admittedly not
without merit, but still -
she's gone with him, and time is lost;
the minutes trickle happily into days.
---------------------------------
Disillusionment, and
starry-eyed
sorrow
- who are you?
You don't want to hurt me,
but you DO
and you do it so well,
it's so rehearsed,
so conspiratorial,
so
empty
Why didn't you just tell me in the beginning?
Save me from
the pain
the agony
the ...
readjustment now that I'm without you.
Cascade
Torrent
Electric storm of thundering misery
with no tears left.
Life goes on, so much time
- "our whole lives!"
A whole life to be without you?
That's not what I need
or want.
Torn
Devastated
Lost -
hope abandonment,
though that's not what you want
but
what I want?
Wounds bleeding from hollow veins
and empty, emotionless hands
creating nought
- but predictability.
Life is the same shitty circle
it's always been.
There's a place on the circumference where
you never were.
And I'm crying on the inside
where the emptiness is.
---------------------------------
L osing all that matters even a fraction of a tiny bit, because you are weak
O r maybe because I am weak, or because it wasn't meant to be, or some cliche that's muttered completely in
V ain, and falling on deaf ears, agonising tears and a hurricane of hatred and bliss and
E ndless confusion.
---------------------------------
sigh.
I miss him.
edited because I can't spell
[ 13 February 2002: Message edited by: anna! ]
*hugs*
heh
