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For those who have experienced psychosis, what delusions did you have?

Orbis said:
I couldnt tell if I was asleep or awake for a long time. Part of me thinks I went to a festival and someone IM'd me with some insane amount of DMT and im going to wake up six years ago someday.
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When I was a kid I was constantly wondering if I was going to suddenly wake up and it would be years ago and I'd be younger.
 
Xorkoth said:
When I was a kid I was constantly wondering if I was going to suddenly wake up and it would be years ago and I'd be younger.
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I used to think that years ago, but the opposite way. That I was in a coma and was going to wake up when I turned 15.
 
I experienced amphetamine psychosis as twelve year old. I was dosing lots of dex-amph daily and staying up from friday morning to sunday evening and then crashing out pretty much every weekend, but usually I would take little naps here and there. Once I thought I had evolved to a point where I could live only on light and air. After thinking that for a few hours I realized I was delusional and needed to go to sleep. But the worst was when I thought for about a whole day that my little sister had been trained from birth to be a CIA operative and had been secretly investigating me this entire time. She was 10 at the time. I was 100% certain she was working with the feds and knew all about me getting spun out and playing solitaire for 8 hours every night. They were onto me and she was the key player in the whole thing, so I had better keep my eye on her.. I was really glad when a day or two later I snapped out of it. I can still remember how real it felt, I was SO sure. Lol. Just shaking my head now thinking back to that time period.

Recently I've come to question the whole idea of delusions and it is getting a bit confusing I must say. One thing I know for certain is that I'm on a path in this life that has been influenced by astrological forces and possibly other even more ethereal forces that I have yet to understand. My job has changed a lot of peoples lives and I know that it's the one thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. The right things and wrong things to do at any given moment have become very obvious, but only for the important things. I find the mundane things to be confusing as fuck now that I've found my spirit's true calling. Now, some would call this way of thinking a delusion, but what's really fucked is that I realized most of the things I thought my whole life were actually delusions, and most people around me are walking around in their own haze of personal delusions and general delirium. So a lot of people would think I'm crazy, but I think they are just ignorant. Where is the line drawn?
 
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Bluuberry said:
Recently I've come to question the whole idea of delusions and it is getting a bit confusing I must say. One thing I know for certain is that I'm on a path in this life that has been influenced by astrological forces and possibly other even more ethereal forces that I have yet to understand. My job has changed a lot of peoples lives and I know that it's the one thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. The right things and wrong things to do at any given moment have become very obvious, but only for the important things. I find the mundane things to be confusing as fuck now that I've found my spirit's true calling. Now, some would call this way of thinking a delusion, but what's really fucked is that I realized most of the things I thought my whole life were actually delusions, and most people around me are walking around in their own haze of personal delusions and general delirium. So a lot of people would think I'm crazy, but I think they are just ignorant. Where is the line drawn?
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I resonate with this very much. I think life is all just a medley of delusions the mind creates to cope with, and feel a sense of belonging in a chaotic and meaningless existence. Honestly I think without some of the (harmless) purposeful delusions I have, I would have probably died by my own hand by now.
 
Some of these posts don't seem like delusions to me at al... it sounds like spiritual progression. Not all of them... but who says that metaphysics is "delusional"?
 
Cubes-dude said:
After tripping I had delusions that I was God and all of reality was in my head and the whole purpose of existence was for everyone to help bring me to enlightenment.
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I don't think this is a delusion, more an excellent take on the nature of consciousness. As far as I'm concerned all of reality is in my head. Reality is only my reality. The people next door are only 10 metres away from me, yet their reality is likely completely different from mine. They think different, see different, do different. I am the God of my reality. And without other people / things brought into my reality, I would never become enlightened in any way. Interesting thought.
 
When I had amphetamine induced psychosis, I thought there was a giant spider tangled and stuck in my hair, struggling to get free.

Subconsciously I must have known all along this was a delusion, as my solution to the problem was to put on a beanie & stuff my 3 ft long hair up into it... Now, a real huge spider in my hair would've had me screaming, flailing my arms, and shaking my head till the thing was truly gone, obvs, lol.

I suppose I've never had a true delusion, because in the back of my mind somewhere Im always telling myself 'it's just the drugs, chick,' when I have these little crazy moments/thoughts occur. True insanity would be unaware of how insane it really was.
 
I can relate a lot to these replies, more so the psychedelics/dissociative induced 'delusions/psychosis' (to which I also agree there is signal and noise in it with the potential for spiritual progression when the signal is sifted and integrated) but less so relate to the amphetamine/stimulant psychosis, like never had imaginary spiders etc.


When I have cross the line, which has happened a few times in the last year or two when not respecting 3-meo-pcp's power, it has been everything from receiving signals 'from the top', thinking that I was half Jesus and half the anti Christ embodied which has why my life has been so polar, the Jesus half creating the best if it, and the anti Christ element creating the strife, thinking that I was kidnapped by aliens when waking up from a memory lapse (missing time) and subsequently thinking that the aliens were upgrading my brain/consciousness to be able to handle the next paradigm we have since entered, and then there was the time a few no the ago where I concluded that we are living in a simulation, and that people take this shit too seriously, like, this is just a test or training ground not even the real thing! Either that, or it really is meaningless and we are just programs running in some aliens' quantum holographic computer, and they are having a laugh about it.

High doses of MXE would also take me to a place where I feel I was piercing the veil and allowing extradimensional entities or spirits to communicate with me, or allow me to receive signals from the moderators of the matrix (same simulation theory stuff).
 
On a 4-fa overdose my parents were driving me home from the hospital this one time and I was seeing an 8-bit war scene play around the road. Oh and the bridge above the highway kept collapsing and the road in front of me looked like on Mario kart. I also saw Alvin and the chipmunks dancing around at mcdonalds (plastic bags :\ )

Another time on a psychedelic psychotic break I was becoming the messiah and everybody was trying to stop my emergence as the new Christ)
 
When I developed acute psychosis I I had naruto style abilities, had multi dimensional beings to assist me and that I was a part of a secret army of people with similar abilities that I thought I had. I was at university in student halls and it ended up happening in front of a lot of people.
Suffice to say it was hilarious in hindsight but at the time it was deeply embarrassing and soul destroying.
 
I thought I was the final prophet sent by God to warn people that doomsday was imminent. Ended up in the forensic hospital, got transferred to the state hospital, all told I was institutionalized about a year and a half.
 
Rastahund said:
Some of these posts don't seem like delusions to me at al... it sounds like spiritual progression. Not all of them... but who says that metaphysics is "delusional"?
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We found the bluelighter who is CURRENTLY experiencing psychosis... just kidding ;) <3
 
I IV'd flakka (probably APVP) and thought my grandfather was trying to murder me for insurance money.

I ran from a demon assassin shooting at me through my neighborhood, felt being shot by his gun, and watched myself bleed out from my penis.

I thought someone somehow got into my trunk while I was preparing an IV flakka shot, and proceeded to drive a very fast car very poorly to attempt to "kill" the intruder in my trunk...

In a motel on flakka I watched the furniture move, convinced someone had cut a secret passage way from the room next door to rob me.

I watched a SWAT team surround me, and I dropped to a plank position with my forehead on the ground @ 3AM in my neighborhood waiting for them to handcuff me. After about 30 minutes I came back home, to find the police there speaking with my family as I hit the PANIC button on the alarm as I left........

Stay away from bath salts. ;)
 
Okay heres one. All things are a sort of circulating gridlike tunnel. Body language acts as a literal puzzle piece in this process. PTSD is faking your way through things then realizing it with DMT and dishoatives
 
DXM makes me believe I'm a prophet. Also, listening to music videos while on dxm makes me think that i'm accessing special "living" music that gives me messages about how people and me are suppose to evolve, and that this special living music is heaven/hell radio, whichever direction i'm going to that trip.
One windy day on DXM i believed the squeaking of traffic lights was a special communication to me, and that the traffic lights were alive and speaking to me. I welcomed each traffic light (it was a new construction) with a hug.
Once on DXM i sat next to a fire hydrant for like 2 hours, thinking it was just about to speak to me.
I had the thought that I could accomplish my miracle by cutting off one of my fingers, and that it would be a beautiful protest against gun violence if I cut off my trigger finger. Fortuneatly I never got the courage to cut off my finger before I questioned the thought. This was going on for like 2 months though.
I had the thought that I was Legion, the gestalt demon, before I thought I was a prophet.
Now if I do DXM i think i'm Legion, the gestalt prophet.
 
During this previous summer, I experimented a lot with LSD. I was so into the drug I would go back to back weekends near the end of summer season. I don't know if what I had was psychosis but I was experiencing a shift in my reality. If I were to stare at a wall it would breathe and if I would stare at it long enough it would morph but I would freak out and look away before anything too crazy would happen. I was into this dark book called, Lords of the Lefthand Path and my character was being influenced by its ideas and I could assure you that didn't help me lol.
 
Orbis said:
Okay heres one. All things are a sort of circulating gridlike tunnel. Body language acts as a literal puzzle piece in this process. PTSD is faking your way through things then realizing it with DMT and dishoatives
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This sounds similar to my only Salvia experience. My body and all of reality was a series of tubes going in circles.
Also, I've had some thoughts lately about any negative experience causing ptsd which is related to my over thinking during socializing.
I haven't had dmt but I have a strong attraction to it and know it's in my future.
Could you expand on the body language puzzle?
 
LazyTheGreat said:
During this previous summer, I experimented a lot with LSD. I was so into the drug I would go back to back weekends near the end of summer season. I don't know if what I had was psychosis but I was experiencing a shift in my reality. If I were to stare at a wall it would breathe and if I would stare at it long enough it would morph but I would freak out and look away before anything too crazy would happen. I was into this dark book called, Lords of the Lefthand Path and my character was being influenced by its ideas and I could assure you that didn't help me lol.
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This sounds similar to my 2015 summer. Objects and walls would glow and change size and pictures emerged from patterns (something I realized occurred my entire life). Like you said, I'm not sure this is psychosis but maybe perspective shifts. We are noticing reality is more fluid and there are parts our brains have been trained to ignore so that survival is a little easier.
 
from crack I though that my entire family had driven 3 hours to my apartment and was outside my door trying to have an intervention....i was yelling at them through the door for about 2 hours. When I finally went outside nobody was there
 
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