For my baby

[Ludikruz]

well i've never posted here b4... thought that someone mightlike to maybe share in my pain.. cmon i know u love it... i wrote these for my baby who i met a few months ago.. i live in boston she lives in ny.. and after showing up on my doorstep unexpectedly this weekend.. to spend one last weekend with me befor she left for school in oaklahoma, while i am still in boston.. i thought i knew love B4 her.. now im scared of what else there is inside people that i dont know.. ive been through a whole lot in my life and thought i had experienced all the feelings possible to the human body.. but i was wrong... and i write these poems for her... here are a few
someone knows where
continues the lost drawn stare
heroin hair, all too familiar
frozen from the heat
hiding from the sun
burnt from the rain
the envy for shame
when the air is too heavy
and your mortality is not strong,
keen of,
the time, which is fading,
will always truly be yours
to loose
===============
the way her eyes
fall
away
the way her body
aches
my AWAY
the way the time
walks fast
the way each goodbye
is ours,
our last
the way her eyes fall
from
fall from
all
========================
yes
yes i do
take you
as my world
to have
to hold
not ever to mold
as we
understand
that
we believe
the same
for our touch
is to blame
for
so much
==============================
can you feel this that does not feel
except for whats in our sight
playing on the softness of losts bed
a glimmer of nothing appears on the happiness
that is the smile that is now
OK so that is me from the heart...id like to hear if anyone could understand them in any way... good luck to us all huh... pace
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"those that keep it true, I wont forget"
------------------ http://www.Ludikruz.com
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[This message has been edited by Ludikruz (edited 18 August 2000).]

 

[CARESS]

"To have and to hold. Not ever to mold". Nice way to express that you love each other for exactly who you are. I hope I'm interpreting this correctly.
Many people enter into relationships hoping to change the other person. Many also enter in hoping the other will never change. Neither approach is realistic. To love someone for the person they are now and to allow for the person they will become is a rare and beautiful thing.
I hope all works out for you. Please continue to write.
Caress

 

[Ludikruz]

yeah... thank you... but you know what sux..
she is a devoted christian and im not saved... she is not suppose to be with me.. and we love eachother to death.. neither of us are sure what we are going to do..
thats why i say "our touch is to blame for so much" cause I live through my heart.. and I've put her in a deadly position where she is torn between her heart, absolutley loving me, and her knowledge, that the bible says the there shouyld be no relationship with non believers(or saved christians)....
thanks for responding
"those that keep it true, I wont forget"
http://www.Ludikruz.com
[This message has been edited by Ludikruz (edited 21 August 2000).]

 

[cherub]

That was just wonderful,
I so hope you work things out,,, trust in your hearts and amazing things can happen!
------------------
Just takes one angel to change a life
~~~~CHERUB~~~~
Aka: Mommyhen

 

[Ludikruz]

dam this story is such a tragedy... too sad to talk about right now... but heres another thing i wrote.. better yet check out my page too
http://dreamz.ludikruz.com
************
all that was left
was your name
till it hurt
till it couldnt hurt anymore
how powerful
as witnessed
brought envy
but there is nothing to envy my brothers
as the words are not out of will
but of life
and the burden of life
is heavy
and one must be strong
to carry for so long
but to carry is of life
with a taste that has scared so many
if you can help me breath
for i will not forget
and when the time comes, if it ever does
i will breath for you
as you see i have lost my
words now
and
someday i will for you
------------------
"those that keep it true, I wont forget"
http://www.Ludikruz.com

 

[Ludikruz]

ok so i guess id like to explain what some of it means if you dont mind...
whent to a rave this weekend.. about 3 hours into my roll... i started saying "I love you marybeth H....r" ... i was bugged out.. i said it over and over for like 2 hours... i got people to witness me saying it and i got people using recorders to record me.. eventually i lost my voice and it hurt to talk.. i guess if i wanted anyone to know anything about me.. i wanted them to know i love her... some people saw me doing this and hugged me almost in tears. hence maybe the envy.. but i didnt want to really do this.. i couldnt help it.. everything was stripped of me and all that was left was my love for her(life).. and it such a burden to know that my girl is out there in the world and im not with her... it gets tiring sometimes... to thoise that can comfort me and help me breath, i am so thankful, cuz its not always easy to do... and when and if those that have helped me are in need.. i will be there.. ready to breath for them..
i dunno if anyone really reads these that much.. but thats some insight into what its about...
------------------
"those that keep it true, I wont forget"
http://www.Ludikruz.com