for Jen... "Walk Away"
I can't count how many times I had to watch my heart break,
Right there in front of me
Sometimes it took a lot to tear my soul out,
Others it was just the mention of her name,
Just four letters,
And my whole world collapsed.
It could be even 2 years later,
And just seeing that name spelled out, next to his,
On my computer screen,
Still makes me want to scream.
I always thought, i hope no one ever has to meet this girl,
And feel this,
And know what i went through for all that time,
Even for one day.
I like to think it made me a stronger person but the truth is,
I havent seen her in almost two years and still the thought of her
Makes me so goddamn vulnerable.
I used to sit in the house on Carson Street,
Where the four of us lived,
Where me and her used to clean the house and light candles,
And wait patiently for our men to come home.
It seems like a million years ago,
but there were so many memories in that house,
And from time to time, they haunt me.
There was the girl upstairs who used to be my best friend,
Who i had some of the best times with in that house,
With the beer stains on the white carpet.
And then downstairs with a guy I was going to marry...
Who i would have done anything for.
And then one of my best friends,
Who sat around and listened to the Cure
and thought he could drown his sorrows in a bottle of beer.
If only it were that simple.
Sometimes i think about them.
I wonder if that guy i once fell in love with,
ever thinks of me.
I wonder if he ever did something with this life,
But i dont think of him much these days.
I dont have hope for him anymore.
And the other guy...
I wonder if he finally found a girl who didnt drive him to slit his wrists,
And it was a nice thought that it could be you,
and i hope he doesnt break your heart too.
There's a really sweet guy in him,
Who could make some girl really happy one day,
And i'd love to see him find her.
I don't know a lot of things,
I'm learning as i go,
But i do know one thing that my past has taught me:
No one deserves to sit around and wait for someone.
Those nights where you can't sleep
because you're waiting anxiously, patiently,
For him to come home...
There can be better spent with someone who really is coming.
Too many of those nights i've had,
And they can scar a person for a really long time.
Sometimes its better just to walk away,
Then to be caught up in those cat-and-mouse games.
I always said,
I think there is one person that our heart always goes back to,
And maybe for him, that person is the one whose house he has been at,
While you sit home and wait.
I watched him do that for years now,
Keep going back for another round of tears,
And he never could just walk away.
But you had a better person when he was just that good friend,
The one who always called you at work when he was in town,
Who was cool to hang out and drink a few beers with
But now he's not that guy anymore,
He's the one who forgets to call,
And doesn't come home when he says he's going to
And if you wait too long,
You won't get that other guy back.
People change
What hurts is when hearts change
But just remember your nights don't have to be spent waiting and wondering...
There's a whole world out there of people
Who won't forget to call...
You just need to go out there and find them.
The better part of my life started
When i walked away from that part you are stuck in now.
But only you know how you feel.
I'm here...
[ 14 January 2003: Message edited by: E-girl ]
I can't count how many times I had to watch my heart break,
Right there in front of me
Sometimes it took a lot to tear my soul out,
Others it was just the mention of her name,
Just four letters,
And my whole world collapsed.
It could be even 2 years later,
And just seeing that name spelled out, next to his,
On my computer screen,
Still makes me want to scream.
I always thought, i hope no one ever has to meet this girl,
And feel this,
And know what i went through for all that time,
Even for one day.
I like to think it made me a stronger person but the truth is,
I havent seen her in almost two years and still the thought of her
Makes me so goddamn vulnerable.
I used to sit in the house on Carson Street,
Where the four of us lived,
Where me and her used to clean the house and light candles,
And wait patiently for our men to come home.
It seems like a million years ago,
but there were so many memories in that house,
And from time to time, they haunt me.
There was the girl upstairs who used to be my best friend,
Who i had some of the best times with in that house,
With the beer stains on the white carpet.
And then downstairs with a guy I was going to marry...
Who i would have done anything for.
And then one of my best friends,
Who sat around and listened to the Cure
and thought he could drown his sorrows in a bottle of beer.
If only it were that simple.
Sometimes i think about them.
I wonder if that guy i once fell in love with,
ever thinks of me.
I wonder if he ever did something with this life,
But i dont think of him much these days.
I dont have hope for him anymore.
And the other guy...
I wonder if he finally found a girl who didnt drive him to slit his wrists,
And it was a nice thought that it could be you,
and i hope he doesnt break your heart too.
There's a really sweet guy in him,
Who could make some girl really happy one day,
And i'd love to see him find her.
I don't know a lot of things,
I'm learning as i go,
But i do know one thing that my past has taught me:
No one deserves to sit around and wait for someone.
Those nights where you can't sleep
because you're waiting anxiously, patiently,
For him to come home...
There can be better spent with someone who really is coming.
Too many of those nights i've had,
And they can scar a person for a really long time.
Sometimes its better just to walk away,
Then to be caught up in those cat-and-mouse games.
I always said,
I think there is one person that our heart always goes back to,
And maybe for him, that person is the one whose house he has been at,
While you sit home and wait.
I watched him do that for years now,
Keep going back for another round of tears,
And he never could just walk away.
But you had a better person when he was just that good friend,
The one who always called you at work when he was in town,
Who was cool to hang out and drink a few beers with
But now he's not that guy anymore,
He's the one who forgets to call,
And doesn't come home when he says he's going to
And if you wait too long,
You won't get that other guy back.
People change
What hurts is when hearts change
But just remember your nights don't have to be spent waiting and wondering...
There's a whole world out there of people
Who won't forget to call...
You just need to go out there and find them.
The better part of my life started
When i walked away from that part you are stuck in now.
But only you know how you feel.
I'm here...
[ 14 January 2003: Message edited by: E-girl ]
