For anyone wanting to try Meth

oh my god, thAnk you so much for posting thAt story. As A meth Addict And relApser myself i reAlly enjoy reAding stories About peoples recoveries. it mAkes me wAnt to try ultra hArd to recover. ive been doing prescription meth for About 2 1/2 yeArs And this hAlf yeAr its gotten worse. Actually in september i mAnAged to stay cleAn for 30 dAys just to prove to myself thAt i didnt hAve a big problem And After those 30 dAys i went bAck. right now i Am About 15 dAys cleAn And hAting every single wAking moment of it. i hAte the disoriented And confused wAy my thoughts get. i Am no longer the poet And Artist thAt i once wAs. i hAte the chronic depression. i hAve been deAling with depression my whole entire life And one of the reAsons i love meth so much is thAt it sheilds it. but the comedowns Are the worst And mAny times i just wish i would die. i think like this Alot. As A senior in high school i should be hAving the best time but i find school life to be lonely, And boring, And quite sAd. im not much of A sociAl person and i dont have mAny friends by my side. i sortA Avoid people. ive turned lAzy. ive never been A person with big motivAtion but now with out the meth i Am totAlly sunk. Also i hAve developed the worst Anxiety And im only sure itll get worse. i feel funny in public and i just get the wAnt to run And hide. one of the worse things hAs to be is thAt i got An on going supply of it. i get it from my psychiAtrist As Desoxyn for my "ADD." reAding this And everyone elses storeis About there meth Abuse, i see A pArt of me in it. A big pArt reAlly. sometimes im sure im destined to go thAt wAy. i sortA beleive thAt you dont stop till you hit your rock bottom and im Affraid thAt i hAvent hit mine yet. people tell me to quit And stop but i sortA want to experiment more...
im sure this All sounds very stupid And messed up And im not sure why i even posted but i just felt like i should.
~`~`~A~`~`~
 
cali_qt_boi
I'd have to be ON METH to read all that...
You would have to be ON METH to write all that...
"...Im going through the same thing right now, except I HAVENT QUIT..." You can tell!
Sorry but it's just so obvious I had to bring it up, get off the shit don't write about it, both of you.
Cali boi tell me you have quit when you write a post 10ft long. Especially after your ordeal where your brains dopamine system has probably been obliterated, tell me how you mustered up all that without being under the influence.
If I'm wrong please point that out to me and explain, whatever it is.
oh my god, thAnk you so much for posting thAt story. As A meth Addict And relApser myself i reAlly enjoy reAding stories About peoples recoveries. it mAkes me wAnt to try ultra hArd to recover. ive been doing prescription meth for About 2 1/2 yeArs And this hAlf yeAr its gotten worse. Actually in september i mAnAged to stay cleAn for 30 dAys just to prove to myself thAt i didnt hAve a big problem And After those 30 dAys i went bAck. right now i Am About 15 dAys cleAn And hAting every single wAking moment of it. i hAte the disoriented And confused wAy my thoughts get. i Am no longer the poet And Artist thAt i once wAs. i hAte the chronic depression. i hAve been deAling with depression my whole entire life And one of the reAsons i love meth so much is thAt it sheilds it. but the comedowns Are the worst And mAny times i just wish i would die. i think like this Alot. As A senior in high school i should be hAving the best time but i find school life to be lonely, And boring, And quite sAd. im not much of A sociAl person and i dont have mAny friends by my side. i sortA Avoid people. ive turned lAzy. ive never been A person with big motivAtion but now with out the meth i Am totAlly sunk. Also i hAve developed the worst Anxiety And im only sure itll get worse. i feel funny in public and i just get the wAnt to run And hide. one of the worse things hAs to be is thAt i got An on going supply of it. i get it from my psychiAtrist As Desoxyn for my "ADD." reAding this And everyone elses storeis About there meth Abuse, i see A pArt of me in it. A big pArt reAlly. sometimes im sure im destined to go thAt wAy. i sortA beleive thAt you dont stop till you hit your rock bottom and im Affraid thAt i hAvent hit mine yet. people tell me to quit And stop but i sortA want to experiment more...
im sure this All sounds very stupid And messed up And im not sure why i even posted but i just felt like i should.
~`~`~A~`~`~
Click to expand...
That's a painful post, some of us are born with harder lives than others, yeah?
mines been hard too...you arent alone, but if you are someone loves you + God + I love you!
That goes for you to cali boi, but clear up what I said, or put me in my place.
[This message has been edited by NiQu3LorD (edited 02 December 2001).]
 
NiQu3LorD:
It's all good NiQu3...I can understand you reasoning, but you a wrong. I actually didn't type that story on bluelight all at once...lol...it actually took me a few days to finish up the whole thing. I just did a cut and paste from a word document. I'm not on meth anymore, not will I ever be. I was serious when I said I posted that story for other people. I've seen this drugs potential first hand and I just want people to be informed about what it can do to you. If you read the whole story from beginning to end, you'll see that I couldn't have made it any shorter and still have the same effect. If you think I'm on meth just cause I know how to write, then you may go ahead and think that, but you don't know me, and that's why what you said doesn't bother me one bit. This story is simply a testimony to my addiction to meth, so that someone thinking about trying it may be able to see what this drug can really do to someone. I hope I've cleared up this misunderstanding. Peace out everyone!!!
 
It's all good NiQu3...I can understand you reasoning, but you a wrong. I actually didn't type that story on bluelight all at once...lol...it actually took me a few days to finish up the whole thing. I just did a cut and paste from a word document. I'm not on meth anymore, not will I ever be. I was serious when I said I posted that story for other people. I've seen this drugs potential first hand and I just want people to be informed about what it can do to you. If you read the whole story from beginning to end,
you'll see that I couldn't have made it any shorter and still have the same effect. If you think I'm on meth just cause I know how to write, then you may go ahead and think that, but you don't know me, and that's why what you said doesn't bother me one bit. This story is simply a testimony to my addiction to meth, so that someone thinking about trying it may be able to see what this drug can really do to someone. I hope I've cleared up this misunderstanding. Peace out everyone!!!
Click to expand...
All clear, sorry mate.
 
I must say this is the most useful post I have ever read in my days of bluelight.
I always tried to stay away from this forum, I knew if I came in here I would be reading a lot of bad stuff. I was scared, I knew if I got addicted to one drug I would be expecting some bad shit but I didn't want to come here because I didn't want to know what to expect.
Cali and Jungle: I wouldn't say much to you two
people. I am not really addicted to anything at this moment and I know I can not fully understand what places you have been to. What I really wish is that Jungle, have faith in yourself. This is all I can say. :)
 
hey Cali-

you are awesome- you get mad props!

but have you (or anyone else) heard of 'shards'? I was once told it was a combo of meth and crack... but my ex has been doing (snorting and smoking) those alot lately (amoung a LOT of other things).... I haven't seen nor heard from her in months, but the last time I talked to her, she told me about not sleeping for a few days because she'd been doing shards.... I hear from mutual friends (that don't hang out with her and her new clique because of their excess use) that she's got her own place now, but its a dump with no phone or furniture cuz all her (BIG) paycheck goes to drugs.....

I'm worried about her, but since we broke up, it seems like she doesn't ever even think about me (we dated for a year), so the times when I expressed my concern, she'd act like I was a psycho-bitch obsessing over her...

part of me keeps sayin that she's just goin through what most new high school graduates go through when they either go off to college or move out on their own- cuz I did the same thing (only I stuck with weed, dex, coke and alcohol) and that, eventually, she'll either get bored or realize how stupid she's being... and that I should just leave her alone, because she's not the same person I used to love...

but then, the other part still loves her and wants to help her....cuz maybe if I do, she'll wake up and be the same person she used to be....I don't know....that might seem selfish tho, and I don't even know if I have room to talk....

.......I KNOW, THIS SHIT IS LONG AS HELL AND YES I AM ON adderal RIGHT NOW.........WOOOOHHOOOOOO

I didn't even think about this until that kid wrote about his prescription meth for ADD.... and I remembered that adderal is amphetamines and maybe methamphetamines too, don't remember.... but I've been using adderal for almost four years now, (used to snort it alot, but not so much anymore)...I take 40mg a day and have noticably bad effects when I don't take it.... for about a week out of every month, I only take 20mg a day and sometimes none at all, just to keep the tolerance under control.... I've suffered from major depression since forever, and adderal is the only thing (so far) that makes me feel better (yes, I've got the psychiatrist and therapist, and numerous antidepressants) and that I can rely on immediatly when I get real depressed...with adderal, though, the down is more gradual and not a big crash.... so I'll admit, I'm addicted-

anyways- the point- (which I tend to forget- sorry)

was: what are shards? and what should I do about this ex of mine?

and does adderal=meth?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
kidblue: i'm really sorry to hear about the position you are in with your ex, and the position that she herself is in. it sounds fatalistic, but i really don't know what you can do. when i graduated high school and headed off to college i did the same thing- started partying a whole lot and started doing a whole lot of meth. i had several friends who were concerned just like you are but i didn't listen to them. i thought i was to smart/good/careful/whatever to become addicted and that they were worrying for nothing and bothering me & my happiness. the denial on my part was huge. there was no way in hell i was addicted although i was doing it nearly every day, binging for 3-4 days at a time and wishing i was dead when i didn't have any. the thing about meth is it is so good at creating the illusion for the user that everything is going great. my life was going to shit, but when i was tweeking (most of the time) i couldn't see it through the "everything is wonderful" illusion that my use created.

i think that the turning point for everyone is different. i wouldn't listen to my friends- i had to find out and fuck up for myself, but maybe your ex is different. just be gentle with her when you tell her you're worried- the #1 way to make an addict become hostile and completely unwilling to listen to you is if they feel you are attaking their reasons for using or their using in general. maybe search out some other friends of hers who are also concerned and talk to her together. unfortunately some people just have to 'hit bottom' to realize what they are doing to themselves and others and can begin to get clean and put their life back in order. i hope that she isn't one of them, but if she is, don't take it personally. addiction is one tough bitch. for your own sanity, distance yourself a little, because it's gonna hurt, but you can always still be there for her, just don't facilitate her addicion (money, rides to places she can score, etc.). good luck with this, i hope you can reach her. if you need to talk, my AIM is PppyChan. i'd be glad to help you out or just listen.

about your other questions, shards is a slang term for meth that is still in rock/crystal form- really good meth looks like shards of broken glass. the thing about it containing crack isn't true, but shards can be smoked in a pipe similar to a crack pipe and give a super-intense rush that is said to be better than crack (i dunno, i've never smoked crack). adderall is not methamphetamine, it is a combination of four different amphetamine salts. similar, perhaps, but definately not the same. to have meth for add, you'd have to be lucky enough to score some desoxyn- methamphetamine from your friendly neighborhood pharmacist.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Cali boi, I decided to read through your post and didn't get bored for ONE sec, I know I'm not gonna fall for the trap, thanks for the story dude and welldone for giving up meth, you would have felt so low about your life.
 
hey thanx lain....
yah, she got pretty defensive when I said she was bein like her mom and smoking crack....I was half joking....but I guess I'm kinda relieved shards aren't crack....but scared about them being the same thing cali boi was addicted to.... I know she likes uppers a LOT (she used to take my adderal) and one of the guys she works with sells shards..... :( ..... I've talked to mutual friends who don't get fucked up with her, but they've all got the 'if that's her thing...' attitude.... I'm not all torn about it anymore (I flipped out when she told me) especially since the reason we broke up was because we'd both changed- we're just not compatible anymore (although I miss the old her alot) we grew apart and I know I don't have ANY influence on her at all anymore.... maybe it's wrong, but I feel like the right thing to do is to let her live her life- however fucked up it might be- and let her figure shit out for herself.....
I'm just glad I don't have to watch.....
 
kidblue: I'm very sorry about your situtation with your ex-girlfriend. I know how much I hurt all of my close friends when I was fucked up, so I can understand how much she is hurting you. It's really hard watching an addict go down, feeling helpless, as if there was nothing in the world you can do. I'd have to agree with Lain on his reply to your story. If you're going to be there for her, I wouldn't address the addiction issue. Speaking from experience, to an addict, addressing such a topic is a personal attack, like lain said. Most likley because addicts know they are addicted, but just don't want to admit it. If you want to help her to be clean, it takes a lot more than talking to her. It would be a long battle with various different tactics that could very well end up with little to no results. Some of us just aren't strong enough for that battle, and I can understand you saying that you want to let go and let her fuck up her life. I guess the best thing to do would be to keep an open line of communication, without talk about the addiction. Show her that you still love her (maybe not as a girlfriend, but as friends). Just let her know that, because she will get to a point in her life where she feels that there is no one on earth that loves, or even cares about her. Just let her know that you care and if she ever needs anyone to be there for her, you would be the one to do it....that is if you personally can be there for her. I guess that's the best advice I can give. It would be unpractical to give you any other advice, in my opinion, there really isn't much you can do. I hope everything works out with her, and you as well. I know it must be hard on you and it hurts me to see a post like yours. Good luck and if you ever need anyone to talk to, my email is [email protected]. Take care dude!!! =)
 
awe thanx man....
aside from her addiction, the break up was real hard on me.... since she moved out in early October I've seen her twice and spoken to her maybe 5 times on the phone, even tho we're supposed to still be friends.... the space has been good for me though, cuz I don't think I could see her everyday.... the past 2 or 3 monthes I've been trying to forget about her, cuz remembering hurts so bad.... but I saw her the other day, and she's still so beautiful, and all the memories came back- but it hurts less, cuz I know she's changed- the girl I saw wasn't the girl I loved....
so...., being there for her sounds like a good idea, but not until I know I can really be there for her and not think that everytime she hugs me or does something nice, that she wants me back.....I can't let my feelings for her get in the way of that.....I just gotta think of a way to let her know "I'm here if she needs to talk" and that "I still care" in a not so dorky way....and that she can talk to me without having to worry that I'm gonna think she wants me....
I dunno....
but thanx cali.... youre awesome.....
 
kidblue: i think you have the right idea. you've tried to reach her but are also willing to accept that she just might be one of those people who has to hit their proverbial "bottom" before they get their head back on right, and you also know that you don't have to watch. i'm proud of you! i think you have it all figured out about how you need to handle this- all the way down to knowing that you are still attatched to her, but also knowing that you have to distance yourself so that you can be sure you're seeing what is really going on. i think most people would not realize their attatchment and allow themselves to stay attatched in a fantasy sort of way- much more painful when reality finally comes to call. good luck, and stay strong- you can handle this. the offer still stands, if you need to talk about this or anything else, hit me up on IM: PppyChan Take care!!
 
awe thanx lain
I still haven't learned about falling too fast but finally, I'm starting to see the light on how to get over it!
still a pussy tho, and haven't called to let her know "im here if you need to talk" or whatever.... theres a party at her place tomorrow.... think I'll skip out on that one...
 
sounds like hell. I myself am tired of people telling me that drug is evil. It isn't- you are. I've taken drugs casually for years now and have never had a problem. Its a good-time drug for responsible people only. I like sexin' on it. The key is not to surround yourself with people who do it- in southern california this is much harder than here in Ct obviously. Don't smoke narcotics and dont inject them. Drink lots of water and force feed- ole veggie shake is best.
People who use irresponsibly have only themselves to blame. Meth, unlike heroin, is not physically addictive although it is psycho-physiologically very strong especially when used in a binge style. Use your head, stop getting yourself and other responsible and aware users in trouble. Using narcotics is NOT a passive experience.
 
Roboto: I agree with you to some extent...you are right when you say that users that have gotten in too deep have no one else to blame but themselves. But that does not make THEM evil as you stated. Some people can control their use of meth, but everyday I'm starting to see that most people cannot. Simply because Meth is probably the most addictive drug out there, 2nd maybe to Heroin. Meth IS an evil drug...just because you can control it doens't mean it's not a bad thing...your only one person. Just look at all the people who got screwed over using meth....probably in the hundreds of thousands, if not millions here in the United States...Even though it may have been their faults, are you saying each and every one of those users wanted to get as fucked up as they did??? Are you saying these victims of Methamphetamine, each and every one of them, could have complete control over the drug they are using??? If so, then why are there so many people crying in bed at night, wishing they had never started using....why are there so many mothers wondering how they are going to raise their child in such a pitifull and shamefull lifestyle??? Why do so many people turn their backs on ones they have loved all of their life??? How can so many people let themselves hit rock-bottom, without even noticing what's happening??? I'm not giving excuses for these lifestyles, but the answer to all those questions is quite clear!!! The drug that they have chosen to use is a drug that comes straight from the devil. It's evil and deceptive and more and more people are becoming trapped within it's web. You are wrong when you say Meth is not physically addictive. It's not as bad as Heroin, but when I quit, my withdrawls lasted for about 2 weeks. I had to go back and forth to the hospital by doctors orders so he could monitor how my body was reacting to the sudden halt in Methamphetamine. It felt like I had been run over by a semi. It really upsets me when you say that users are "evil." It's really easy for you to sit there and point fingers, but you really don't have a clue. Instead of blaming these people for their screwed up lives, why not try and help them. I know this drugs potential, people loose their lives Roboto...and all you can do is sit there and boast about how you have it under control and how the addicts are evil. I guess it kinda shows how much humanity you have inside.
 
A powerful tale. Remember, if you ever start thinking, 'It's been so long, one night of fun won't hurt me' just kick yerself in the butt good and hard. :) Stay strong.
Much luv,
~*~ Ashke ~*~
 
you are right when you say that users that have gotten in too deep have no one else to blame but themselves. But that does not make THEM evil as you stated. Some people can control their use of meth, but everyday I'm starting to see that most people cannot. Simply because Meth is probably the most addictive drug out there, 2nd maybe to Heroin. Meth IS an evil drug...just because you can control it doens't mean it's not a bad thing...your only one person. Just look at all the people who got screwed over using meth....probably in the hundreds of thousands, if not millions here in the United States...Even though it may have been their faults, are you saying each and every one of those users wanted to get as fucked up as they did??? Are you saying these victims of Methamphetamine, each and every one of them, could have complete control over the drug they are using??? If so, then why are there so many people crying in bed at night, wishing they had never started using....why are there so many mothers wondering how they are going to raise their child in such a pitifull and shamefull lifestyle??? Why do so many people turn their backs on ones they have loved all of their life??? How can so many people let themselves hit rock-bottom, without even noticing what's happening??? I'm not giving excuses for these lifestyles, but the answer to all those questions is quite clear!!! The drug that they have chosen to use is a drug that comes straight from the devil. It's evil and deceptive and more and more people are becoming trapped within it's web. You are wrong when you say Meth is not physically addictive. It's not as bad as Heroin, but when I quit, my withdrawls lasted for about 2 weeks. I had to go back and forth to the hospital by doctors orders so he could monitor how my body was reacting to the sudden halt in Methamphetamine. It felt like I had been run over by a semi. It really upsets me when you say that users are "evil." It's really easy for you to sit there and point fingers, but you really don't have a clue. Instead of blaming these people for their screwed up lives, why not try and help them. I know this drugs potential, people loose their lives Roboto...and all you can do is sit there and boast about how you have it under control and how the addicts are evil. I guess it kinda shows how much humanity you have inside.
Click to expand...
I agree, you can only blame people for the act of initiating what they knew could potentially be an addiction, because for whatever reason they push the risks associated with it to the back of they're minds at tat time in their lives.

The evil nature of the drugs exist in that they exploit peoples requirement to try new things, especially young peoples, and they're so unforgiving, I mean one night of inquisitiveness and excitement can potentially extract every bit of life a young person has, when origionally that isn't what the person planned.
Not everyone has great will power, and drugs take that same will power away, even from the mighty willed.

It's a blessing that people can gather the strength and self esteem to pull themselves out of that after the drug has weakened them so much.

good vs the evil qualities of a drug

That's a uniquely human quality. If it was left purely to the appetitive powers that all species possess methamphetamine would tweak you till your dead.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Simply because Meth is probably the most addictive drug out there, 2nd maybe to Heroin.
Click to expand...
Hate to break it to ya kid, but meth is more addictive than heroin.
~*~ Ashke ~*~
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Before this thread is closed, I'd like to take the time to thank all of you who read my story. I have appreciated all of the posts I've read and hope that this story will steer people away from such a powerful drug. Thanks again everyone, and be careful out there!!! Peace out...
 
i've read so many stories of meth addiction. each one saddens me and scares me so much. yet...i am headed down the wrong path at a VERY fast pace. i haven't gotten as bad as that yet...but i know if i don't stop soon, i'll be at rock-bottom b4 i know it. the very unfortunate thing though--is while i am very sorry for what you went through and i do think it is terrible. i read these stories and say to myself "oh--i'm not an addict cause i'm not THAT BAD. i could be SO much worse". i think its horrible that i even have those thoughts. i don't know if i'm ready to call myself a meth "addict" at this point--but i DO KNOW i have a problem with it. a VERY bad problem
***<3 starlight <3***
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top