Flying the Not So Friendly Skies of Cebu Pacific Airlines

Today is Saturday, July 24, 2010 and it is now 1233AM here in Makati, Luzon, Philippines.

Recap: I was sitting in Butuan Airport on Mindanao waiting to fly back here.

This Entry: My flight actually took off on time which is very rare here, all the more so with one of the world's worst airlines, Cebu Pacific, doing the flying. Even if the airline was punctual, and granted very few ever are, something very cheesy about them trying to sell you trinkets like pens and memo pads along with a can of soda for what amounts, literally, to a day's wage for a working man here.

All that is academic when it comes to their customer service finesse. It is truly maddening and I am someone who flew in the Eastern Bloc in the 80s!

Here in Makati, part of Metro Manila, we have 2 airports, 1 for International, 1 for Domestic. Cebu Pacific has a large counter in the Domestic which is actually 2 buildings, a small terminal and 1 for the counters. If you are flying OUT of the capitol you go to the counter for check-in. Not a problem one would imagine. I am a person who is anal about punctuality. When I have a flight I arrive at a terminal roughly 8 hours before check-in even begins. Cebu-Pacific proves that my habit is intelligent.

For a 10AM Departure, the ticket counter, neigh, the entire building opens at 830AM. At 915 or so, the clerks stop their bullshitting and man their 2 PC terminals. By this time there are literally at least 200 people crowing a 12 meter counter, waving ticket recipts, screaming in a cacophany of languages (including dialects there are well over 100 spoken on 7,107 islands here). You should see the dumbfounded Westerners waiting patiently, imagining a line somehow exists.

Me? I am Israeli hahaha. I push through loudly and menacingly hissing, "Excuse Me" with my gameface on full. I have always gotten through.

Still, that means nothing becayse when I get there I am dealing with absolutely fried clerks. "Sir, this ticket is invalid. Your passport says 'Rachamim Ra'anan Ben Ami' but your ticket says, 'Rachamim Raanan Ben-Ami'."

Rachamim: "Yes love, my language doesn't use Latin letters like English."

ClerkCondescendingly) "Sir, it doesn't have Latin, it is English."

R: "Yes, but English uses Latin letters."

C: "(Disdainfully) Sir, I am an edicated woman. I have a Bachelor's Degree and I know very well the difference between Latin and English!"

*As all this is transpiring the cacophany grows louder, people are pushing harder, this is SE Asia and pickpockets DO operate and above all my plane is set to lift off in 20 minutes!*

Rachamim: "Ma'am, look, is there a Supervisor whom I might speak to?"

Clerk: "Yes sir. He is in our Cebu office, his phone number is...and you may call on Monday because on weekends he is off."

R: "Aaaah...."

*I then palm a 5 US bill, and palming it hold out my hand and offer to "pay the penalty" and tell her not to worry about the receipt.

All works out. People say the Philippines is the most corrupt nation in SE Asia but I can assure you that THAT honour belongs to Cambodia, hands down. When you cross from Thailan, into the country at Poi Pet they actually have professionally made signs on the wall of the Immigration lean-to (actually a lean-to), that tell you that the costs of visas are 10 US higher than they actually are.

I love to read travel websites and see kids talking bullshit about how they forced the officer (only 1 there) to provide the visa at its actual cost (20 for Tourist, 25 for Business though I heard they might have raised them). I smile reading them knowing they are full of shit.

Oh, you CAN argue it down to the correct price but when you get that cute little blue stamp atop the paper visa they glue in on a whole fucken page, it will be the incorrect stamp, bet your bottom Dollar.

Imagine, time to depart, you go back over land and get there with 2 hours before the lean to's combination lock goes back on, and the border will be closed for the next 2 days to celebrate the King's (pick the nation, Cambodia OR Thailand) hemorroid crawling back up his arse or some non-sensical event. You arrive on your snazzy tourist bus. You walk the kilometer through all the fucken hyper-aggresive touts, hauling your 30 pounds of uneccessary shit and that same officer , for the first time in a week cracks a smile. He nods to his 3 touts, the civlians working for the local syndacite, who "help" tourists to fill in the simple applications, included in the extra 10US "fee." They look at you sternly and say, "Solly, diss stamp not good, no-no."

Backpacker: "Well mate, what do I do?"

Tout:"You muss go back Pnohm Penh, get stamp."

BP: "Wait! You gave me the wrong stamp, why do I have to go back?"

T: "Law, you muss go, NOW!"


Ahhhhh, so go ahead smart fuck, save your tenner, brag about it at "Happy Pizza" or the patio at "#9" and then deal with it in fucken Poi Pet, the most depressing city in the region, for about 5 days.

Getting the stamp is possible in PP before heading back, IF you are smart, and it will only cost you 75US, and the 4 US back and forth on the back of a moped to Immigration on Russian Blvd by the airport.

The way I look at it? Yes, 10 IS 5 days pay to a lot of folks there so it DOES represent a nice sum BUT, its being smeared over dozens of hands. That officer pays touts, he pays supervisors, organised crime figures and so on. He is not banking very much of it, maybe half a Dollar per? And what does the 10 represent to you? In PP you pay 3 to 15 US a night for your digs, 5 a day for food, so think rationally, it factors in fine.

Especially when you buy a gramme of solid white #4, uncut for about 5 US per!

Dumb tourists...

Anyway, airports suck, no doubt. I got back to Makati, jumped in a trike out on the street, and came back here. Jackie wanted to come over but I begged off.

Thinking of moving her to a slightly nicer home, men are bothering her there she says. A nice subdivision not to far from where she is, in Barangay Tandag Sora. The new house is 4,000 Pesos a month, currently Im paying 2800 (1000 = about 18 US) so its not really going to mater to me, let her be safe.

Went to Chabad House here, just opened a couple of months ago in Salcedo Village, the district next to mine in Makati. The 1 Jewish Community in this country is crammed into Salcedo. Chabad is a Hebrew acronym that isn't capitalised for some reason, means, "Knowledge, Wisdom, Understanding" and is a programme of the Lubavitcher Chassidim (Hassidic). They try to provide a religious observant environment for Jews abroad and sometimes are the only source for Jewish food in a region (they have it flown in). I go for the food, I dig Ashkenazi food (what they call "Deli" in the US). They also have Mizrachi food, the food we eat in Israel because of so many IDF on walkabout (the gap year after 3 years mandatory service all Jewish men in Israel go through).

 

I love Israeli food as well. There is nothing like a wonderful plate full of vegetables and freshly cooked meat, with a side of delicious rice, to make one feel balanced again.

I discovered this at a Chabad Lubavitch restaurant in, of all places, San Francisco's Chinatown, on my walk home from my firm. They looked at me a bit funny as my hair was down, but I was in full business dress and for $7 of food, I left $10.

I still cannot believe you have eight children, Tristram.

 

My fave is Baba Ghanoug but I have an auntie, in Deal,NJ? She married into us and wrote a cookbook (Poopa Dwek is her name), her Chicken and Cherries? Wow.

We use Anbari Rice, which is an Iraqi variety, like Basmati in appearance but even better in taste, grown in Iraqi swamps. Even during the Saddam years we got it. Cooked with Zafra (Saffron), pine nuts (pignoli) and preserved sour cherries. Chicken, whole, is marinated at least 24 hours in Zattar (Tyme based herbal mix common in our part of the world), and basted over and over with drippings, olive oil and fresh lemon juice. Best is on rottiserrie. Then cut the chicken, lay it on rice, give every one shot glass of that gravy, and go to work. We eat with hands, man, talk about finger licking good hahaha.

In Ashkenaz Cusine I love fatty Pastrami on black bread slathered in Russian Dressing and a plate of sour pickles. Damn, if it wasn't 3AM and Shabbat I would kick in the door at Chabad!

Anyway, I only ever had 7, my first son, born when I was 18 died in infancy. He had a Jewish genetic disease even though my 1st wife wasn't a relative (we marry nieces and 1st cousins usually). Then in very quick succession I had my 2 eldest boys, whom I both talked about within the last 2 entries. Then my daughter, immediately as well, she is in an officer and also a pro like my 2nd son.

Then I divorced, it was an arranged marriage, I gave our family 2 living sons, I was free to do my own thing. Went West a bit and had a boy with an American-Jewish girl, he is finishing university now in Boston in the States. Then 2 years later another boy by a Puerto Rican girl. He lives in Tampa, just finished high school there but can't decide if he wants more school.

Finally later, I had my youngest with an illegal Mexican in Tampa but she and her mum went to Mexico. They live in Nuevo Leon State, in the mountains.

I want more though!

 

Getting around and dealing with local officials sounds like a nightmare, but I would still like to visit Cambodia, for the ruins mostly. Maybe I'll take a couple of weeks off next year.

Mariposa: Where in China Town is that restaurant? I'm always looking for new good places to try.

 

Rach-- wait, what? Seven kids? And you want more? My mind she is blown.

Oh, and I remember dong a term project for biochem on a particular genetic disorder that's apparently really common in Ashkenazi Jews. It was a metabolic disorder, and I can't for the life of me remember what it was called.

Finally-- Oh my goodness that chicken sounds amazing.

 

Socko: Corruption isn't really the maddening part for me, Israel has its share (Baksheesh). For me its the money grubbing locals. Rationally, I understand why they won't leave you alone, 2 dollars a day to them is a roof over their head and food to eat for half a day.

The thing is, like in Cambodia? Motodops (moped taxi drivers) and TukTuk men (moped pulling a wagon where you sit) hang out literally at every entrance of every pension, hostel and guesthouse. They don't even wait until you hit the street!

Last time I was on the 4th floor, top floor of a hotel and when I would leave even to get a plate of white rice the guys would be standing in their group, instantly as I passed a 4th floor landing window they would get excited despite my never once giving them business.

Then, as I exited the hotel they'd go ape shit , running 20 meters to the door, mobbing me.

 

Dave, yes, 7. I would like to have at least 8 more if I get situated before say, age 45 but its highly unlikely. I am sure if I live long I will have at least a couple of more.

There are 4000 genetic diseases only occurring within Jews, plus many more predomionately affecting us.

 

Rachamim, here ya go. They are super nice and they make delicious food. I prefer steak over anything.

You've got to be joking if you want more kids. The world is too wrong for any of that, which is (part of) the reason I am 30 and childless by choice. It is so easy for a man to shoot his load, but so difficult for a woman to carry hers. If you want more kids, you have to be on crack. I wouldn't know. I got an IUD and I'm celibate for now.

Sorry about the steak thing, Dave. It was delicious and stopped my anemia from my own cycle. I have to keep mindful that I can blow from a blood clot or aneurysm at any time. When there is a failsafe method of birth control as to men, and when women can truly trust men with our own fertility, I'd gladly let the man take control. He can, anyways. In the meantime, the point is moot in my case.

 

Mariposa...The only time I ever get to Clifornia is when I change planes but IF I ever go there otherwise, I would love to go to San Francisco, if I can stomach the markedly Liberal character and what that means to me as an Israeli (I hear even Oakland now has violently anti-Israel demonstrations).

I have long been interested in SF because of its unique character as a Western city built with an East Coast mindset (the use of space and architecture are interests of mine). SF builds "up" instead of "out."

On kids, if the world is fu*ked up, and granted I tend to agree for the most part, what better way to affect change than to properly raise oiyr own children?

Sadly, I wasn't able to play much of a formative role in my 3 non-Israeli childrens' lives, too much time and space between us.

Assuming I actually meet the right woman I am at the stage in my life where my travels are pretty much my own choice so that I could limit my time away and play a much stronger role in their lives.

As for the male role in contraception, better yet is the route you are currently taking, purposeful contraception.

 

The liberal character is easy enough to ignore if you ar eonly visiting. To me, SF more about yuppies who are more interestd in money than anything else. Spend a few weeks and you can take in what interests you while ignoring hte bad.

Edit:

On kids, if the world is fu*ked up, and granted I tend to agree for the most part, what better way to affect change than to properly raise oiyr own children?

My gf wants children, but I've committed to being child-free (for that reason, among ohters).It struck me that she uses your arugment to try to get me to change my mind. I point out to her that though she may be qualified to raise them, I am probably not.

 

Well, if one partner truly feels they aren't ready, by all means wait (unless it happens that contraception fails, in which case let the fun begin).