Mental Health Fixated

cyberius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 11, 2013
Messages
1,571
I finally got diagnosed with OCD and BDD and I can finally be certain that this could just be a mindless fixation. So, here it goes, I feel mentally deficiant. I lost a lot of oxygen at birth and I feel like I'm walking this planet with half a mind.

I've never been more afraid of anything than my own lack of ability. I always felt so faulty and sheltered myself from a lot (Social interaction, love, happiness) in fear that I came with pieces missing or as a result of a low intelligence. I know a lot about how things work in theory, but acting on them I often fall in short.

Is it possible that being stupid is just the cause of all my distress? Even now I feel myself wording things in the prettiest way to minimize the shame and embarresment I feel
 
From the discussions and interactions we've had I hold you as possessing a brilliant and greatly perceptive mind. I can't speak to your past but you've never shown anything of the like from what I've seen in your posts.
 
I can tell that you are smarter than many of the bluelighters on here just based on your writing and grammar. Maybe you are a little neurotic , meaning you overthink things and give into irrational fear a lot. Maybe you just have a little social anxiety.... Don't let doctors slap all kinds of labels on you, and start up the crazy medications... Many of us have been through that... thats how they make money... Just keep your head up and open up to new things, yes you might get rejected but you won't die from it. in fact it will make you a stronger person.
 
Forgive yourself. It's not your fault.

Sometimes people do have unseen underlying neurological abnormalities or even physiological ones that impact their lives much to their distress and frustration. Fixating on it may keep you on a path of being unable to adapt to new patterns.. so let it go. You are what you are, and don't forget the brain has a remarkable ability to compensate and find a way round problems!

I'm a bit emotionally stunted and definitely have some kind of neurological issue with converting spoken language into something internally that I comprehend.. difficult to describe but unless people speak very clearly it often goes in one ear and straight out the other =D I also have a photic sneeze reflex.. definitely some wonky wiring up top! But it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean anything to who I am.

Don't let your body or brain define you. You are the thing that acts after all. So have a bit of faith in yourself, you're here now so you're doing something right!

ps I like your avatar!
 
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