Five Moons

[Spencer]

I had a Dream, and in this Dream the sky was blue.
A Surreal blue. The type of blue you only see in Dreams.
The type of Dream you only see in movies.
I watched my Dream play out on The Big Screen.
Wandering a street, with friends from times past.
And we all looked up to the Surreal blue sky.
And there were five moons, gathered around the gleaming, burning sun.
When I looked back ahead of me I saw her standing in the middle of the street.
She looked the same as she always had.
The way I remembered her.
My first instinct was to wake up.
No, thats not right. I was Dreaming.
My first instinct was to run.
Or Cry.
I hadn't even thought of her in so long.
The feelings I felt hit me in the face like an air bag in a violent car crash.
And suddenly I was right back where I was so many years ago.
We talked about how things had changed.
How she was better.
She showed me her house.
Where did my friends go?
They must have been smart enough to run.
Suddenly we were on the secret hill side.
The one that only me and my friends were allowed on.
And I was crying.
Crying because she was there with me.
Staring at the five moons.
That smile on her face.
That one that got me in the first place.
And I knew I was hers.
Forever.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Wake the fuck up already.

 

[PixieGirl]

 

[fairnymph]

I had a Dream, and in this Dream the sky was blue.
A Surreal blue. The type of blue you only see in Dreams.
The type of Dream you only see in movies.
I watched my Dream play out on The Big Screen.
Wandering a street, with friends from times past.
And we all looked up to the Surreal blue sky.
Are you familar with the villanelle and sestina forms of poetry? Because the repetition and use of the words that I have bolded reminds me alot of these forms.
I think these lines of your poem are the stylistic gems...the circular/confusing/obessesional effect of using words over and over, yet in slightly different situations, is very powerful. I feel as if I am stuck in the whirpool of your unconscious.
Nicely done.
[ 14 February 2002: Message edited by: fairnymph ]

 

[yoUr bLiSS]

your words are always beautiful spencer. i'm glad to see you are posting more of them....

 

[Dagny]

W O W.
Your writing, Spencer, wow. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read, and I feel like I can see the hill you're talking about. Stunning, sweetie.