I realize this comment was from six years ago, so I apologize if this bumps an old thread, but as someone who has dabbled very rarely, only recreationally, USUALLY responsibly (and ONLY thanks to the harm-reduction information that I sought out, both preventatively and after-the-fact, in this wonderful forum) - yet who has also experienced a handful of brief but effective wake-up calls and harsh learning curves - I just wanted to put it out there that if anyone is simply wanting a friendly ear or outside perspective/input, whether you've had a hellish first-time experience or just want to talk (yes, this is a fucking long run-on sentence, but hopefully coherent ?)...
Just wanted to offer that to anyone who might be needing it. I myself have decided to kick back with a very nice new friend since yesterday night and indulge in a laid-back party-for-two for the first time since my own hellish experience a few months ago, which was my own fault, and a perfect example of a great point made by another member: tweakers love company, and you never want to surround yourself with people of a certain, blindly self-destructive mentality, when it ESPECIALLY comes to crystal.
I've made certain rules for myself that must be met before I even consider indulging so as to minimize physical, mental, and emotional risks/long-term consequences. The question I have to ask at every point is: Does the "reward" justify the risk? Nine times out of ten, fuck no.
Party Rule Number One:
Gotta have the right frame of mind, yourself. If I had been honest that last time, and acknowledged that I was still emotionally vulnerable after enduring a gut-wrenching breakup, and was seeking an ESCAPE, rather than a positive, recreational experience, I would have recognized that I was in a very reckless, negative mindset, and therefore much more likely to, what I like to call, "add stupid ON TOP of stupid". Sure enough, disaster happened, and while I sadly cannot change that, I can be overwhelmingly thankful that I at least LEARNED from it, and have little more than the ugly memory of a rough month, which is burden enough, for me.
The fact is, I'm no better than anyone. I am just as capable of making stupid, boneheaded decisions despite every advantage in life; my areas of weakness may not be as "mild" or "awful" as another's, but those are relative concepts. I'm flawed, like anyone else. Our pattern of thinking is the root of all our decisions in life, and of many problems, but also how/if we choose to solve them. Go easy on yourself when you fuck up, all of us. But make sure you dredge up some humility to take a cold look in the mirror once in a while, acknowledge your failures or shortcomings, specifically the pattern of THINKING (self-justification, rationalization, emoting instead of thinking, what-the-fuck-ever, we're all susceptible to it) that LED to those choices. And, have enough humility to acknowledge that you don't always know what's best, you don't know everything, and if one or ten people are telling you that something is a bad idea or are trying to help, listen. They care. You matter. Objectivity in this life is the only way any of us can hope to maintain sanity and truly be happy, regardless of our pasts.
Hope this offers some encouragement. Haven't posted in a while, fixing to rack out for a VERY good night's sleep, then reporting back to work in the morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Because COFFEE.
Love you all, enjoy in moderation and remember that tomorrow's a brand-fucking new day
