Hey everyone.. I've been a long-time reader of bluelight but have never posted before until now. I'll try to make it as brief as possible, but I'm posting about a friend of mine who is really struggling with depression right now and feeling pretty crappy.
He went down to Miami this weekend to visit some college friends (he's 23) and to go to Ultra Music Festival, which is a huge 3-day electronic music festival. He took about 0.5 grams of Molly three days in a row (not all at once, spread over maybe 5 hours). he was told that the stuff was a mix of both DXM and either MDA/MDMA. He doesn't really have any other details or testing info about it. The rolls were all excellent, and he had a great time. He also was smoking marijuana all throughout the days and nights as well. He smokes daily, but only rolls once every couple months. However, the only thing that he noticed that was off and that he finds difficult to explain is that he felt more awkward than usual while rolling. Don't really know how else to describe it other than just a general feeling of awkwardness that isn't usually there. When girls would come up and dance in front of him, he wasn't sure if they were coming onto him or if they were just dancing. One girl that was visiting and staying with his close friend (and that he hung out with for most of the weekend) seemed pretty interested in him and would always be dancing close to him; however, for whatever reason he felt awkward dancing with her or making any sort of a move and it caused him a good deal of anxiety which is normally never something he deals with. He did end up trying to dance with her eventually but it was fairly crowded and near the end of the night and it seemed like she wasn't really into it, but he couldn't tell if it was all in his head or not. He got the feeling that some of the people he was with as well as this girl were talking about him and laughing at him when he was just out of earshot; some of the times he's sure he was imagining it, but there were a couple cases where he was 99% sure of it. In years past he has gone to Ultra and rolled and never felt any sort of awkwardness/anxiety like this.
However, other than that, the weekend was a lot of fun and the rolls were happy and generally very good and he got to spend a lot of time with his good friends. The only other bummer was that on both of the last two nights he was hanging with the girl from before (the one staying with his close friend) and a couple of their friends, and both times she definitely seemed interested in him; they spent a good amount of time together and at times alone and had a lot of fun, but for various reasons out of his control both nights ended up with nothing happening at all between them, and on their last night they were hanging out after the concert but her friend made her leave and she did so without much complaint or really saying much of a goodbye to him. He is pretty convinced that she liked him based on how the girl acted as well as some indirect things their mutual friend told him, but he got the feeling that something was holding her back the whole weekend and it's driving him nuts that he can't figure out what it was. Part of the anxiety/awkwardness that he experienced while at the festival came from when the girl was dancing in front of him and he felt like her and her friend were laughing at him for not dancing with her; but when he did she wasn't very receptive.
So, that brings him to today. Between taking 1.5 grams of molly/DXM in three days (which is probably not a lot for some people, but for him is more than he's ever taken) and being disappointed two nights in a row by not getting anywhere with this girl that he actually really liked but might never see/hear from again, he is feeling especially shitty today (the past couple mornings/days have been fine though). He has struggled with minor depression in the past (used to see a psychiatrist, but never on any meds for it), but nothing terribly major and he was doing absolutely fine for the past two months. However, today he feels very depressed and like he might cry at any moment, which is uncharacteristic for him. He's sure that the amount of drugs he took this weekend is certainly the main culprit for feeling so shitty, but the thing with the girl really threw him for a loop as well. He really thought that they had a bit of a connection (and he's not the kind of guy that goes around saying that about every girl he meets, far from it in fact) and he can't help but feel like he's missing something about the situation, and he just doesn't understand why it went down like it did. He could have sworn that she liked him, and now he's struggling with separating what parts of the weekend were real and what was just in his head. He just feels generally stupid, worthless, and sad. He's upset about how badly he wanted things to work out with that girl and that nothing happened; he usually doesn't fall for girls easily and hates how hurt and stupid he feels. He's sure that he'll get over it in a couple days, but is worried that this might lead him to a real depression and he doesn't really have anyone to talk to about it. He is considering asking their mutual friend about the girl, but doesn't even know what he would say.
Sorry for such a long post, thanks to anyone who gets all the way through it and doesn't mind replying with comments, advice, or just something to cheer my friend up. Appreciate it greatly. Take care all.
He went down to Miami this weekend to visit some college friends (he's 23) and to go to Ultra Music Festival, which is a huge 3-day electronic music festival. He took about 0.5 grams of Molly three days in a row (not all at once, spread over maybe 5 hours). he was told that the stuff was a mix of both DXM and either MDA/MDMA. He doesn't really have any other details or testing info about it. The rolls were all excellent, and he had a great time. He also was smoking marijuana all throughout the days and nights as well. He smokes daily, but only rolls once every couple months. However, the only thing that he noticed that was off and that he finds difficult to explain is that he felt more awkward than usual while rolling. Don't really know how else to describe it other than just a general feeling of awkwardness that isn't usually there. When girls would come up and dance in front of him, he wasn't sure if they were coming onto him or if they were just dancing. One girl that was visiting and staying with his close friend (and that he hung out with for most of the weekend) seemed pretty interested in him and would always be dancing close to him; however, for whatever reason he felt awkward dancing with her or making any sort of a move and it caused him a good deal of anxiety which is normally never something he deals with. He did end up trying to dance with her eventually but it was fairly crowded and near the end of the night and it seemed like she wasn't really into it, but he couldn't tell if it was all in his head or not. He got the feeling that some of the people he was with as well as this girl were talking about him and laughing at him when he was just out of earshot; some of the times he's sure he was imagining it, but there were a couple cases where he was 99% sure of it. In years past he has gone to Ultra and rolled and never felt any sort of awkwardness/anxiety like this.
However, other than that, the weekend was a lot of fun and the rolls were happy and generally very good and he got to spend a lot of time with his good friends. The only other bummer was that on both of the last two nights he was hanging with the girl from before (the one staying with his close friend) and a couple of their friends, and both times she definitely seemed interested in him; they spent a good amount of time together and at times alone and had a lot of fun, but for various reasons out of his control both nights ended up with nothing happening at all between them, and on their last night they were hanging out after the concert but her friend made her leave and she did so without much complaint or really saying much of a goodbye to him. He is pretty convinced that she liked him based on how the girl acted as well as some indirect things their mutual friend told him, but he got the feeling that something was holding her back the whole weekend and it's driving him nuts that he can't figure out what it was. Part of the anxiety/awkwardness that he experienced while at the festival came from when the girl was dancing in front of him and he felt like her and her friend were laughing at him for not dancing with her; but when he did she wasn't very receptive.
So, that brings him to today. Between taking 1.5 grams of molly/DXM in three days (which is probably not a lot for some people, but for him is more than he's ever taken) and being disappointed two nights in a row by not getting anywhere with this girl that he actually really liked but might never see/hear from again, he is feeling especially shitty today (the past couple mornings/days have been fine though). He has struggled with minor depression in the past (used to see a psychiatrist, but never on any meds for it), but nothing terribly major and he was doing absolutely fine for the past two months. However, today he feels very depressed and like he might cry at any moment, which is uncharacteristic for him. He's sure that the amount of drugs he took this weekend is certainly the main culprit for feeling so shitty, but the thing with the girl really threw him for a loop as well. He really thought that they had a bit of a connection (and he's not the kind of guy that goes around saying that about every girl he meets, far from it in fact) and he can't help but feel like he's missing something about the situation, and he just doesn't understand why it went down like it did. He could have sworn that she liked him, and now he's struggling with separating what parts of the weekend were real and what was just in his head. He just feels generally stupid, worthless, and sad. He's upset about how badly he wanted things to work out with that girl and that nothing happened; he usually doesn't fall for girls easily and hates how hurt and stupid he feels. He's sure that he'll get over it in a couple days, but is worried that this might lead him to a real depression and he doesn't really have anyone to talk to about it. He is considering asking their mutual friend about the girl, but doesn't even know what he would say.
Sorry for such a long post, thanks to anyone who gets all the way through it and doesn't mind replying with comments, advice, or just something to cheer my friend up. Appreciate it greatly. Take care all.
