Thanks guys, real helpful! Yeah harm-reduction alright! Lets stay away from hard drugs and stick with the drugs that really are good for you, like pot and mushrooms! YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!! You are obviously very young if you think this site is producing more harm-reduction than harm-promotion. And I'm only 17. ONLY SEVENTEEN AND DOING COMBOS ALL FUCKIN DAY. So what does that make you?
I'm gonna try to leave out the obligatory "you're a fucking idiot" and keep this post useful. When I was your age was about 5 years ago. I thought it was really cool to do drugs (just like you do "ONLY SEVENTEEN AND DOING COMBOS ALL FUCKIN DAY. ") and that doing drugs made the world a great place to live in, or at least bearable. I made more friends than I had in a long time, being that I had moved from San Diego to Ohio, where I knew nobody and didn't really have friends in middle school. In high school I started selling weed & coke and had plenty of friends, went to parties I'd never been invited to with the kids I thought were the shit (i.e. the hot girls & sports players). I thought life was a ball. I started shooting coke when I was 15 and kept it a secret from everybody except my using partner. I eventually quit after about 6 months of daily use and never touched it again (except maybe once or twice every 6 months at a party) even though I was still selling it. I never did pills, but tried heroin when I was 16. I loved it. I did it only on the weekends for a long time, probably a full year. I had skipped a grade so I would have graduated high school when I had just turned 18, but I didnt. About the beginning on my senior year I started using every day because I always had money from selling weed & coke, and I figured I could control it because I'd quit shooting coke after 6 months daily, and had no problem with it. I thought I could beat the withdrawls, and then the cravings. I was tough; but not tough enough. I ignored the difficulty i had quitting and continued using every day, telling myself I could quit whenever I want; taht I didn't have a problem. I ended up failing out of high school, and failing out of college my first quarter. I ended up fucking up my weed business, and spending my reup on dope (I already stopped selling coke). It took me 6 months of fucking around stealing shit after I ran out of money to start selling heroin. I thought things were great. I always had dope, was making good money, had girls (both using and ones that only smoked weed) had parties at my house, had a great time. Eventually, though, the only thing that mattered was getting high. I still had people coming around trying to hang out with me (people that didn't use) and people that did use coming around trying to steal my shit when I nodded out. Luckily, though, my habit was already big enough that a half gram of fire china white or fire tar didn't make me nod out, and I knew if i did enough to get high my tolerance would keep going up. So my life consisted of selling all day, seeing the dope man, and doing a shot every 12 hours that I hoped & prayed would get me high, but it never did. Spending $100 a day on dope and never getting more than a 10 minute high. Weaning never got my tolerance down, even when i only did .1 twice a day for 2 weeks instead of .5g 2-3 times a day. I thought I could quit anytime I wanted, but eventually realized I couldn't. I was okay with that. As long as I could place my $50 bet on 1:50 odds of getting high, twice a day, I was happy. I was never sick. I got to do $300 of ketamine a day. I was a happy man. Except my teeth were rotting (from not brushing my teeth), all my veins (my neck, legs, feet, arms, hands, thighs) were all busted and it took me about 30minutes of poking to find a tiny vein that would blow out half the time mid-shot, and I hadn't been laid in 6 months, by choice of not picking up the phones for the girls that were calling the first 3 months (after 3 months they stopped calling). Oh, and the cops were building a case against me. Eventually, I got picked up after a CI set me up, and they had followed me to my mexicans. They now claim I had about a half oz on me, and had sold the CI 4 grams that one sale. Plus they had a customer snitch and tell them I sold him 3g in a school zone (which was bullshit, I'd been out of school for 3 years and hadn't sold anything near a school). They busted that one crew of mexicans (out of 3 different mexican hookups) and I spent 10 days in jail until I was given a future indictment and let out. about a month ago my futue indictment came back, and i spent another 7 days in jail until I made bail. I've already spent 7800 on lawyer fees, and my car was take along with about 16k in seized money. All those years selling dope have gotten me was busted veins, rotted molars, disowned by my family, a serious trafficking case, and a good lawyer for that case. Essentially, nothing. and because of the charges, i'm going to do a minimum (thanks to mandatory minimum statutes) of 4 years, probably receive a term of 4-10 years. and I was lucky. think about that statement. I was lucky. most people who do dope dont always have cash on hand. they are sick at least a quarter of time the are awake. the only chicks they fuck take cash only, and give you hiv or herpes or hepatitis as a free gift. many live on the street, or live with their parents at the age of 30 (doesn't last long, when furniture, heirloom jewelry, or appliances disappear they generally get kicked out. or when their parents grandkids or nieces and nephews step on a dirty needle, same thing happens). and they spend months or years in prison for thefts, receiving stolen property, breaking & enterring, robberies, forgery, fraud, etc.
it's not worth it. I used to think like you (albeit a little less self entitled). that a boring life wasn't worth living. but it is. find a woman (or man, whatever you like) that you love, and love to be with. they are out there somewhere. and build a nice, boring life with them. dont make dumb choices for a couple hours of nirvana that result in days, months, or years in concrete and bars, or in the street without anybody that cares for you, or in the ground with your parents crying and asking what they did wrong. you owe your parents more than that. dont end up withering away because of HIV, or hepatitis, when even dope won't make you feel normal. or forced to steal a purse, or rob a store, or steal shit from a store, just to not feel like shit. a boring life is a good life. eating food made by your significant other, or cooking yourself, going to a nice, boring job (preferably one that you like, and believe me, there are plenty of jobs that don't seem like a job, that even you would enjoy doing everyday), and coming home to a woman, man, or family that you love and that loves you and sleeping in a warm bed beats the alternatives. alternatives being waking up dopesick, scrounging up 9 bucks and convincing your dealer to front you a dollar, getting that dime sack cooked up and in your veins, finally feeling halfway decent and human, eating a half eaten hamburger out of a dumpster at mcds, robbing, cheating, and stealing (or panhandling, or the best way, sucking dick or bending over as a male prostitute on craigslist) your way to another dimesack (repeat 3 times), eating some more rotten food, and crying yourself to sleep in your box, or under the bridge, or in the flophouse (trying to avoid sleeping on some other junky's dirty needle). or falling asleep in prison, still on dope, but paying 600 a gram for cut to shit dope and not getting high ever, only getting straight 5 times a week, spending 12 hours of every day and 2 full days every week dopesick. when somebody needs it, sucking their dick for a 5 dollar bag and feeling suck-cessful for making that teensy bag taht wont even get you a buzz. or rotting away in a hospice because of hiv or hep without any pain meds because you used to do dope, with your parents (if they are still on speaking terms with you) coming and looking frail and years older than they should because they actually gave a shit about you.
i can't tell you not to do oxy, or dope, or whatever. and oxy and heroin are the exact same thing. and lead the exact same places. get a boring job, or go to school. find a girl you love to be with, and who loves to be with you (they are out there). work your way up in that job or finish school and get a boring job that pays well and has decent hours. get a work ethic and enjoy your nice, boring life. have kids when you are ready and watch them grow up and go through the same difficult period you are in now. and become successful despite that difficult period, too. just like you will, if you dont make choices now that prevent that transition. I wish i could go back and do everything different. I've wanted that since before I got busted, when i was making plenty of money and still getting high before my tolerance got too high and before I stopped wanting pussy. seriously. now my life consists of waiting on the hammer of felony court to drop, praying they give me a deal that doesn't include too many years of prison, and going to the methadone clinic every morning in order to feel normal. and going to college because i had paid a full years of tuition before i got busted. and keep in mind, my story is a lucky one. I could have ended up like most of my customers. most of the people i started doing dope with (in prison or dead, literally. not the cliche, my original dope using partner is in prison with the other guy we started with for selling rolls. cannon is dead of an overdose. so is scott. so is sarah. lydia has hepatitis c and her liver is failing. only jack, josh, and shay are still alive and dont have a terminal illness and are out of jail/prison. shay is still using and she sells her body to get dope (so shell probalby have hiv / hep / herpes soon enough, if she doesn't already), jack is using and spends half his time sick, and the other half (after he gets his first shot of the day) stealing books and dvds to get more shit, and hes been to jail more times than i can count, has probably spent at least 3 months of every year for the past 5 years in jail for theft and breaking & enterring. josh has been sober for 5 months but has to go to the methadone clinic every day just like me, just to feel normal. and he used to suck dick for his dope, so its probably just a matter of time until his 3-monthly hiv tests start to come back dirty.
hope you read all this.
edit: to the people calling oxy the "top of the ladder" it's not. it's pretty much the same as hydrocodone (without the tylenol). the top of the ladder starts with hydromorphone (dilaudid) or fentanyl(super potent by weight but not very euphoric). i.e. hydrocodone (with tylentol)-->oxycodone (with tylenol) --> hydrocodone (w/o tylenol) -->oxycodone(w/o tylenol) --> (top of the ladder) fentanyl;dilaudid-->methadone;levorphanol-->oxymorphone-->heroin the feelings are all pretty much the same for morphine and its analogs without the 3-methyl group. hydrocodone & oxycodone all are less sedating, less truly euphoric, and give less of a body buzz as well compared hydromorphone (dilaudid), oxymorphone (opana), or 3,6-diacetyl-morphine (heroin). methadone and fentanyl knock you out (more sedating) but provide less euphoria (particularly fentanyl) than morphine analogs (not including codeine analogs)
if you want to do real dope do real dope (heroin/opana) dont try to convince yourself (and/or the world) that oxy is real dope. it's not. it doesn't feel near as good, but is equally addictive to the opiate naive. or really to anybody who hasn't done opana or heroin.
